For the Love of Coffee

A Challenge to Finish...

2012-01-06T15:57:00.000-06:00

I love reflecting on the year past and making goals for the new year! It may have to do with my overwhelming desire to make lists and more lists. I've been thinking a lot about my reading habits and how they have quickly diminished since I finished my Master's Degree. Now, it is easier to play on Pintrest or watch Netflix instead of sitting down with a good book. I'm also the worst at starting a book and getting about halfway through and not finishing. I hate that. I do realize that some books are probably not worth the time, but a lot of of books out there are. My challenge to myself this upcoming year with my daily Bible reading and a stack of books is going to be to finish these things I start.

The Bible reading plan is not a set-in-stone plan, but just something that has worked for me in the past. I will read 1 chapter of Proverbs, 1 chapter of Psalms, and probably 2 Old Testament and 2 New Testament chapters. I have a check off thing as I go through the chapters, so I'm not too concerned about reading the books in a certain order or within a certain time frame. If I decide to spend some extra time in an Old Testament book, I'm good with that and want to have that freedom. I've also got two girls I'm studying with for discipleship things, so most of my indepth study on a passage will probably come from that.

Here's my book list for 2012. I have picked 11, my goal is 1 book a month. (I'm sure another book will come out in 2012 that I want to read). It doesn't seem like much, but I haven't started and finished 11 books in a long time. The list is not really in any particular order except I will be starting with the first one on the list. I have heard excellent reviews about it and want to read it!

1. The Meaning of Marriage - Tim & Kathy Keller
2. A Proverbs Drive Life - Selvaggio
3. Let Me Be Woman - Elizabeth Elliot
4. A God Entranced Vision of All Things - John Piper & Justin Taylor
5. A Praying Life - Paul Miller
6. A Chance to Die - Elizabeth Elliot
7. Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy - Metaxas
8. Screwtape Letters - C.S. Lewis
9. All of Grace - Charles Spurgeon
10. Faith on Trial - Martin Lloyd Jones
11. Heaven & Hell - Jonathan Edwards
12. TBD

The best thing is that I (or Adam) have all of these books. So, I am not purchasing any new books yet, but just reading ones that we have!

Update: I started this blog on 12/29/2011... It is now, January 6... Already I am failing at finishing things!!
Maybe I will share my New Year's Resolutions next, we shall see how well I follow through! :)

Your Ultimate Fear

2011-12-13T20:58:00.000-06:00

I'm still going through this book called Whiter Than Snow by Paul David Tripp. It has been one of the most challenging things I have read with such continual focus on sin and the need for grace. Meditation 32 is called 'Your Ultimate Fear.' The title captured me right away. I live with way more worry and fear in my life than I should. I say that I trust that God is in control, yet continually try to do my own thing. I would like to just give a cliff notes version of this reading:

"Cast me not away from Your presence, and take not Your Holy Spirit from me." -Psalm 51:11 This should be our greatest fear in all of life, but is it?

She had it all and maybe that's why she was so afraid. Everything she had was nicer than she ever thought would be hers. But morning after morning she'd sit there and worry. She'd worry about her marriage, finances, children, and health. She even worried about natural disasters.

Something very significant had happened to her, and she didn't even know it. The very things for which she'd been so grateful, the very things she once though she didn't deserve, had morphed into things that she was convinced she couldn't live without. What she had once greeted with surprised gratitude were now the sources of major anxiety. The things that had once seemed out of place in her life had become the very things that defined her life. And so she lived with fear.

Something else had changed. The thing that was meant to define her life, and that once did, no longer defined her. There had been a time when everything in her life was defined and evaluated by her relationship with God. There was time when she greeted God's grace with a surprised gratefulness. Now these thoughts were no longer center stage. No longer would she identify herself as a sinner, rescued by grace. No longer did she get her meaning, purpose, and sense of well-being from the Lord. That once heartfelt and wholesome question, "Where would I be without the Lord?" had been replaced by the question of how she'd cope with the loss of any one item in her personal catalog of material things.

But I didn't think long about David or about my friend, because my mind turned to me. What is the thing in the world for which I'm the most thankful? The loss of what thing do I fear the most? The existence of what in my life gives me meaning, purpose, and that inner sense of well-being?"

Questions to ponder:
1. Be honest: what is it that brings the most fear into your heart?
2. What things in your life are you convinced that you cannot live without? Pray for a heart that is so fully satisfied with God that you are able to be content with what He has placed in your life.

These words have to cut to my heart these past couple of days. I've been thinking about some of the resolutions I made for 2011. One of them was this - I desired to learn what it means to be content with God and what He has provided. So often during 2011, I have failed in being satisfied in God. I was challenged with one of my favorite verses of Scripture over the weekend, "You make known to me the path of life; in Your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." (Psalm 16:11). Oh that my greatest fear would be to not experience the fullness of joy that comes from His presence! I need it and want to be fully satisfied in Him alone.

“The enjoyment of God is our highest happiness, and is the only happiness with which our souls can be satisfied. To go to heaven, fully to enjoy God, is infinitely better than the most pleasant accommodations here. Fathers and mothers, husbands, wives, or children, or the company of earthly friends, are but shadows; but God is the substance. These are but scattered beams, but God is the sun. These are but streams. But God is the ocean.”
― Jonathan Edwards

Where Your Treasure Is...

2011-12-09T07:43:00.000-06:00

Today is my Mom's birthday. She would have been 67 years old. A little over 3 years ago, God chose to allow my Mom to enjoy the continual celebration and joy of Heaven. Who needs a birthday there, right? 3 years ago this day was so hard, but today, it is not so much. I miss Mom, but I do not miss cancer and seeing her suffer. I can only imagine that she is so much better off than she ever was here on earth. As I think of her, my thoughts normally go to what she taught me (or how I failed to learn more cooking skills from her.)
One of her favorite verses was found in Matthew 6. Verse 21 says this, "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." It helps to back up a few verses to see this short verse in a little more context, "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matthew 6:19-21). My family did not have a lot when I was growing up. We were fed, clean, and taken care of, but did not have money for extras or fancy things. As my brothers and I like to talk about, we ate the generic brand of most foods along with a lot of hot dogs and mac 'n cheese. We were loved by two parents and cared for, so I am thinking the extra stuff didn't matter too much and I would say that we had a great childhood!
On more than one occasion as Mom was teaching truth from God's Word, she would make sure to say that she was more concerned about storing up treasure in Heaven than here on this earth. She wanted her kids to know about Jesus, she wanted the students she taught to know about God's love for them, and even the many people that she encountered in her Tupperware business knew about Mom's relationship with the Lord and had probably heard the Gospel from her. She spent a LOT of time talking to people. (I get my love for talking on the phone from her.) I think her heart was better focused on eternal things than most people I have encountered, although I believe she did a pretty good job living in the moments that God blessed her with here.
As Mom neared death, we saw even more clearly and frequently where her treasure really was. We knew she loved us and cared deeply for her family, but she knew she was going to see Jesus. The things that she had worked hard to accomplish in life paled in comparison to her relationship with Jesus and wanting to make sure those she loved knew Him. She talked to so many people in those last few days. She was going to see Jesus. He was truly her treasure!
I am unsure of what all Mom had accomplished for the Kingdom in her life, God knows. I am so thankful for her example. I know that I am challenged, especially around Christmas time, to not dwell so much on the things that "moth and rust destroy" or what thieves desire to steal. I'm sure that Heaven's greatest treasure will be experiencing Jesus for all eternity. For now, I pray that God will give me opportunities to further His kingdom and store up treasures in Heaven. I don't want my heart clinging to the things of this world, when what God has promised is so much greater!

What can I do
How can I live
To show my world
The treasure of Jesus
What will it take
What could I give
So they can know
The treasure He is

And if I can sing
Let my songs be full of His glory
If I can speak
Let my words be full of His grace
And if I should live or die
Let me be found pursuing this prize
The One that alone satisfies
The treasure of Jesus
-Treasure of Jesus, Steven Curtis Chapman

The Story - Part 1

2011-10-11T19:05:00.000-05:00

**the other half of the relationship has already approved this blog**

As of Saturday, October 1st at sometime after 5pm, I became an engaged woman. So many have asked me for the engagement story. It is truly one to blog about because I think it is the best engagement story ever, but I'm not biased - just stating opinion. However, with all good stories, you never start at the middle or the end.

For the past year and a few months, I feel like I have been living in someone else's story. Yet, when I think about Who writes and fashions the story for each of our lives, I should not be surprised that my loving Heavenly Father would bless me with more than I could have ever expected or dreamed.

Adam and I have known each other for 8+ years. He was probably 16 or 17 when we met, which would have made me 20 or 21. (Que the old woman jokes.) We were not really friends, but I did talk to him and things like that. We just ran in different social circles. He was totally into music from the time I met him to this day actually. My musical talent and ability can probably fit into my thumbnail, maybe... I'm incapable of keeping rhythm. Yep, we are a good match. When people at our church found out of Adam's music talent he began playing for everything Youth Ministry related. This in turn caused girls to swoon over him. If I had nickel for every time a girl said to me, "I want a guy who plays guitar and sings..." I would have a lot of nickels. For years, I gave Adam a hard time about this. Now, I like to say to him, "I like you cause you play the guitar and sing..." He loathes that.

Anyway, that's not the story. We were friends and co-workers and that was about it, until June of last year. I'm not exactly sure when it all started. We would hang out with groups of people and at the end of the time, we would be the last ones left. This would lead to some good conversations and then we would leave. The conversations continued over text messaging late into the night. (Yes, sometimes dating even as adults is kinda like high school.) I lost a lot of sleep in the first few weeks of his pursuing. Adam asked a lot of good questions and I guess I answered a few them correctly. We were in a long, boring meeting one Tuesday night and he sent me a text, "Want to get some food?" Most guys would say something sweet like, "You look nice or... something." He got right to the heart of the matter by appealing to me with food. My text back was "Sure." We went a bit away from our area of town to get food at a Wendy's. Super duper romantic, right? It was a bit awkward and fun all at the same time. I remember him opening my door for me and I was thinking, "This is strange, but I like it!" There were quite a few more awkward moments, but that's part of the fun, I think. Little did I know that a sovereign God was orchestrating in my life what I had resisted for so long.

For the first few months of our relationship, we kept it on the downlow (DL). Our families knew and my roomies were aware, but we had decided that we didn't want to make a big deal about it. After a couple of weeks, it seemed like this was going to be the real deal. I'm sure I was the one who became attached quite quickly (Adam prefers to use the term smitten when referring to my feelings.) Normally, relationships involve some type of risk. Adam was definitely worth the risk. From the very beginning, God has given peace in my heart about him. One of my constant desires for the man I would marry is that there would be time to see his character and those around me would confirm that he was a Godly man with integrity. Despite his flaws/sin (which we all have), Adam has proven himself to be faithful in his walk with Christ. I did not need friends to affirm his character, I had seen it for many years. However, I was thankful for the encouragement from so many family and friends that our relationship seemed to be something the Lord had done and not anything we tried to manipulate.

Without a doubt, this past year + has been the best of my life. We have learned a lot about each other and have hopefully grown closer to the Lord in the process. The story is not over Part 2 has just begun. Stay tuned.

Unfailing Love

2011-09-29T15:32:00.000-05:00

I have been a blog slacker... Please forgive me. Sometimes life is busy and a bit tiring.
I'm still reading through the book Whiter than Snow by Paul David Tripp.

This is Meditation 17 entitled Unfailing Love

For You would not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; You will not be pleased with a burnt offering. -Psalm 51:16

I wish I would live with You in view;
Eyes to Your glory
Ears for Your wisdom
Heart for Your grace.
But I live with me in view.
Eyes to my kingdom
Ears to my opinion
Heart captured by my will.
I know I was made for You,
I know that Hope
Meaning
Purpose
Identity
My agenda for every day,
Is to be found in You.
But I want my own kingdom
I love my own glory
I define my own meaning
I delight in my control.
I know You are not fooled
By my burnt offerings.
There's a war that never ends;
The battleground is my heart.
It's a moral skirmish
Between what You have ordained
And what I want.
So I don't find pleasure in Your glory,
I don't delight in Your law.
But my heart doesn't rest;
I know there's a better way.
I know You are God
And I am not.
My sin is more than
Bad behavior
A bad choice
Wrong words.
My sin is a violation of the relationship
That I was meant to have with You.
My sin is an act
Where I replace You
With something I love more.
Every wrong thing I do
Reflects
A lack of love for You,
Reflects
A love of self.
Help me
To see
To acknowledge
To weep
And say,
"Against You, You only have I sinned
And done what is evil in Your sight."
And then help me to rest
In Your mercy
In Your tender mercy
In Your faithful love,
Even as the war goes on.

-Paul David Tripp, Whiter Than Snow, pp. 59-60

Romans 7.

2011-09-07T06:40:00.003-05:00

Taking a break for a minute to share with you something I read last night. I am using the book Whiter Than Snow - Meditations on Sin and Mercy by Paul David Tripp for discipleship. This has definitely been one of those books that have bothered me with some conviction. My two favorite things about this book are: the close look at Psalm 51 and a presentation of the right view of God along with the right view of man. I have a tendency to think of myself better than I really am and bring God down to my level. I desire to have a right view of Him and His holiness.

Anyway, Paul David Tripp has 52 "meditations" in the book. Each meditation is a little different style. Some are stories along with the Scripture. Others are almost like poetry, this is one of those.

Meditation 11 - Romans 7
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin! -Psalm 51:2

"I am a mass of contradictions; I don't want to be but I am.
I preach a gospel of peace, but my life isn't always driven by peace.
I talk about Jesus who alone can fully satisfy the soul, but I am often not satisfied.
I celebrate a theology of amazing grace, but I often react in ungrace.
And if I rest in God's control, why do I seek it for myself?
Even in moments when I think I am prepared, I end up doing what I didn't want to do.
Irritation
Impatience
Envy
Discontent
Wrong talk
Anger
Self-focus
Are not the fruit of the new life, are not the way of grace.
So there is this law operating inside of me.
When I step out with a desire to do good, evil follows me wherever I go.
There is this war that rages inside of me, between a desire to do good and sin that is anything but good.
There are times when I feel like a prisoner, held against my will.
I didn't plan to be mad in the grocery store, but that guy made me mad.
I didn't plan to be discontent, but it just enveloped me in the quietness of the car.
That discussion wasn't supposed to degenerate into an argument, but it did.
I'm thankful for God's grace, but there is daily evidence that I'm still in need of help.
That battle inside me cannot be solved by
Theology
Strategies
Principles
Techniques
Plans
Preparation
Helpful hints
Outlines.
I have been humbled by a war I cannot win.
I have been grieved by desires I cannot conquer.
I have been confronted by actions I cannot excuse.
And I have come to confess that what I really need is resuce.
So, have mercy on me, O God,
According to Your unfailing love
According to Your great compassion
Blot out my transgressions
Wash away all my iniquity
And cleanse me from my sin.
For I know my transgressions
And my sin is always before me.
I embrace the rescue that could only be found in You.
Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

-Whiter Than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy, Paul David Tripp, pp. 43-44

30 for 31. God's Word.

2011-09-06T20:44:00.001-05:00

I haven't forgotten that I stopped last week with 29. I did turn 30 and not 29, but I promised 31, so on I go...

His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us to His own glory and excellence, 2 Peter 1:3.

I believe the truth of this verse, even when my actions fail to reflect my belief. God's work through His Word draws one to salvation. His divine power grants this beautiful salvation. He does not stop at salvation, but this verse offers the promise that He gives all things needed for life and godliness. Where does all things needed come from? A deep, intimate relationship with Him, which we find through His Word.

I fail so often to realize that God's Word is enough. Our society tries to teach independence. There is nothing wrong with learning to do things and do well, but by nature God made us dependent. A created being produces a dependent being. How easy it is to depend on other things, but the Word of God! Our independent Creator gave His dependent beings exactly what we need for life and godliness through His Word. Even though I often forget that God's Word is enough, it does not change the Word. Every time I come to it, I can clearly see how God's Word is "profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work." (2 Timothy 3:16-17). Want to get a better understanding of how good the Word of God truly is? Take a look at the short chapter of Psalm 19 or spend some time in Psalm 119.

I think I spent the last 10 years (or so) of life realizing the truth of 2 Peter 1:3. My desire would be to spend my next 10+ years of life putting this truth into practice.

29 for 31. Reading and Studying.

2011-08-31T20:55:00.001-05:00

I really wanted to blog about Adam for Post 29. I spent my entire 29th year of life dating him, but he has this rule about facebook, twitter, and blogging about our relationship, which I try to mostly follow. I will shamelessly plug his music (no rules about that) and the fact that he is seminary student. Him being a seminary student is a good lead into today's post. Since he is a student, some nights when we hang out we read and study. I know fascinating, right?!? Thankfully, I learned to read and study long before he came along.

My mom taught me to read. She made these awesome phonics charts on posterboards. We would go over them at home. You know what I am talking about - A-Apple, B-Boat, C-Car, Ch-Chair, D-Dog... You obviously had to sound the letters out. It was great fun and I loved the phonics charts, especially when they got into the blended sounds. (Some days my Arkansas accent gets in the way of good enunciation.) Mom had this thing she said about reading: "reading is caught not taught." My family was a family of readers. We didn't have to much of a choice, because they bought us lots of books. In the mornings, we passed around the cereal boxes to read the back of them. Yes, we were that family. If we were bored, we were always told... "Go read a book."

The summer I broke my arm, I loved the Babysitter's Clubs books. My aunts would send money for books and I would buy like 10 of them at time and read them in a week. Books were important and given high priority in our house.

One book was given special priority as Mom and Dad went to it everyday. I cannot remember a day when I got out of bed that I did not see Mom and/or Dad reading God's Word or knew by where their Bible was setting that they had already enjoyed time in the Word. My heart is thankful for their Godly example. When it came to Biblical things, I felt like they already knew so much. The knowledge of God always sent them back seeking and desiring to learn more. I may not have appreciated then, but I definitely do now! Proverbs seems to show it best, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,

and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight." (Proverbs 9:10)

My parents' example of time reading and studying God's Word would be something that I would try to follow beginning when I was a teenager and continues even now. We are never too old to learn, especially when it comes to studying God's Word.

Stay tuned for more about God's Word...

28 for 31. All Things New

2011-08-31T06:13:00.001-05:00

Mom's story ends and her eternity begins with Heaven.

Most days of my life, I wear two bracelets:

The teal bracelet is an Ovarian Cancer Awareness bracelet. The pearl bracelet is a special gift from Dad. It has twelve pearls, some gold, and beautiful crystals. It is called a "Heaven bracelet" taken from the picture we see in Revelation 21:21, "And the twelve gates were twelve pearls, each of the gates made of a single pearl, and the street of the city was pure gold, like transparent glass."

I love the bracelets and enjoy the reminder as I wear them each day. I actually like to read a few verses earlier in Revelation, "And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God Himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” And He who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” -Revelation 21:3-5a. I experience joy like nothing else when I read these verses. God will dwell with His people. The things here on this earth that hurt and break our hearts will be no more. "He who was seated on the throne said, 'Behold, I am making all things new.'" As believers, we experience an abundant new life when we trust Christ, but it goes beyond my imagination to consider what we will enjoy when God makes all things new.

I am not sure what eternity is like now as believers in Heaven await the day when all is made new as well. Mom wanted to see Jesus. I smile when I think of her worshipping our Savior, and no cancer to be found. I am sure she has encountered many others whose life had been made new by Christ here on this earth and now they experience Heaven together.

I go to see His glory,
Whom we have loved below:
I go, the blessed angels,
The holy saints to know.
Our lovely ones departed,
I go to find again,
And wait for you to join us.
Goodnight, goodnight till then!
-Goodnight, Matthew Smith.

For those who remain, we anxiously await the promises of Revelation 21. We tell others about the glorious gospel of Christ that can change one's life. Scripture reminds me once again that what we know here is only temporary, "But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like His glorious body, by the power that enables Him even to subject all things to Himself." -Philippians 3:20-21. All power and glory is His in Heaven and here on earth. In life or in death, may our hearts rejoice in Him!

27 for 31. Suffering.

2011-08-30T21:27:00.000-05:00

Chances of finishing this by the end of August are looking a little slim. However, I will finish. Perseverance is not my middle name, but sometimes I try. Onward...

I don't remember when my Mom started talking about her suffering, but I do remember that when she did, these verses were repeated over and over again. "that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and may share His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead." -Philippians 3:10-11. I didn't grasp the intensity of Mom's suffering. I do know that cancer can be quite painful. I think she much better understood that her suffering was drawing her to a closer relationship with her Savior. As a believer, I would never pray for or desire suffering, I like the "good life." However, God uses suffering to draw us to Himself. I need be reminded that I am not independent, in reality I am solely and entirely dependent on Him for all things. He draws us into the sweetest relationship and often to do this, He uses suffering.
I think Mom got it, she knew. I think my family understood just a little bit too about how God uses these times to draw us to Himself. I have wrote the past couple of days about suffering and God being a refuge. It is all summed up so very well in these verses. We experience suffering to know Him and His power. His desire for a relationship and His power is on display at all times. He is a great God. Suffering is an opportunity to draw close, to hear His Words, to see His power, to trust with the unknown, and be more like Him. That should be my desire at all times whether in good or bad - to know Him and become more like Him!

One of my favorite cd's during this time was Come Weary Saints by Sovereign Grace. I remember singing the words of this chorus over and over again.
King of Glory, I know You love me
So I will trust You, yes I will trust You
God Almighty, You have saved me
So I will trust You, yes I will trust in You

I love how this song shows me who He is - King, God Almighty, Who loved me first, Who died to save before I knew I needed a Savior. Oh, He can be trusted, even in suffering!

26 for 31. Refuge.

2011-08-29T20:18:00.000-05:00

One of the biggest lessons, I get to learn over and over in my life, and especially during the difficult time with Mom, is that God is who He says He is. Not only do I read in the pages of Scripture, but I get to experience it with His work in my life. During the time Mom had cancer, I would read through the Psalms and see that God is a refuge.

"O LORD my God, in you do I take refuge..." -Psalm 7:1

"Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!" -Psalm 34:8

"For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God. Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us." -Psalm 62:5-8

"But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works." -Psalm 73:28

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, 'My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.'" - Psalm 91:1-2

These are just a few examples. In the Psalms, we also see God being a refuge against enemies when one was in battle. Cancer was not the battle for me, but it was Mom's. I needed shelter from the storm that seemed to be swirling around my life. I found it in the best possible place. God was and is still my refuge. I know God is who says He is and it is our responsibility to believe that. During some difficult days when life seemed broken, God proved over and over again that He is just that - a refuge, a hiding place, a shelter. I rejoice in the fact that His Word true. "for You have been my help, and in the shadow of Your wings I will sing for joy." -Psalm 63:7

25 for 31. Romans 5:1-5.

2011-08-29T18:24:00.000-05:00

In July of 2007, I went to Brazil on a Mission Trip. Mom and I had decided that we would read Romans 5:1-5 each day of the trip and then talk about it when I returned home. We actually got to talk on the phone once about it while I was in Brazil. She emailed me something about it almost every day of the trip; something she was learning or how she saw God fulfilling the truth of His Word in her life. These are the precious words of Romans 5:1-5, Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through Him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. At that time, we were learning to rejoice in hope of the glory of God, but having a hard time with rejoicing in suffering. Or maybe we were actually learning to rejoice in suffering because the end result is hope. Mom reminded me of who we were in Christ in light of these verses. She experienced the peace and grace from Christ during that time. I had a much harder time with the truth of these verses. I did not want to rejoice in her sufferings. Fortunately for me, the work of the Holy Spirit is not up to me and what I want. I learned the truths of these verses ever so slowly. Because of Christ, we stand in grace. Suffering is the beginning and the ending is hope. These verses are really all about the work of Christ. He justifies. He brings peace. He gives faith. He allows suffering to produce endurance, character, and hope. His Holy Spirit is a beautiful gift that He gives. Our Sovereign God is at work during times of suffering. It took me a long time to see that and I don't even see everything clearly, yet. Someday though.

For now, I read these truths in Scripture and desire to keep learning. I am certain there will be future suffering in my life, believers are not promised an easy life. However, no suffering is without purpose. We suffer for and hope in the glory God.

24 for 31. Romans 8:18

2011-08-27T21:24:00.000-05:00

For a few days, I have been working on/mulling over in my head a series of posts about what I experienced and learned when my Mom was diagnosed with cancer, her suffering, and her passing. Apart from my salvation, nothing else in my life has had a greater impact on me spiritually. I felt like during that time my faith was shaken and my world was broken. When I get the opportunity to tell people about this part of my testimony, I cannot say enough how God's Word comforted and gave hope to my helpless heart. I didn't get all the answers then, and still don't have them now, but the words of Scripture still ring out true again and again in my life. I'm going to try to take you on my journey through Scripture during that time. These verses remain precious to me even now.

March 6, 2007 was the day my family heard the word cancer. It is such an ugly word. It is a word that you hear that produces questions, doubt, and despair. That day was an emotional one for me. I didn't handle the news well. I left the hospital that night feeling hopeless. I had been reading through Romans and was somewhere in the middle of chapter 8. For those who don't know Romans well, chapter 8 is a meaty one. There are so many fantastic theological truths in this chapter. (But don't take my word for it, read it here.) Romans 8:28 may be one of the most popular verses of Scripture, "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose." Sweet promises we find in God's Word. That day, I was reading a little earlier in the chapter, "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." (Romans 8:18) I am pretty sure I had no idea at that time of the work that God was going to do. Through Mom's suffering, I believe I saw glimpses of the glory of God and His work in my life, my family, and those around us. This verse is actually talking about the future glory. John MacArthur describes it like this, "This looks forward to the resurrection of the body and subsequent complete Christlikeness which is the believer's eternal glory." (MacArthur Study Bible - ESV). Yes, we suffer now and it is hard, but is suffering on this earth worth it to experience what Christ has for us in the future? According to Paul, it was. In our present suffering as believers, I believe that God reveals Himself in ways that provide hope and comfort to our hearts. Suffering is for His glory now and points us to the ultimate glory of eternity with Jesus.

Romans 8:18 was and is a big truth for this heart!

23 for 31. Discipleship (Titus 2).

2011-08-25T07:08:00.000-05:00

I have quite a few of those moments where I think, "Why do you want to use me God?" I know He doesn't need me, He is God. Yet, in my weakness, He grants opportunities for me to serve Him in ways that I did not see and was not prepared for the work He was going to do.

If you asked me, if I had ever been discipled, I would attribute that to my Mom and Dad. The Word of God was predominant in our home, school life, and of course, church. They gave me a great love for the Word and an encouraged my God-given desire for the things of the Lord. Also, they answered lots of questions. Dad still answers lots of questions about God's Word and the application of it. I am thankful for that.

If you asked if I would ever disciple someone, I would have told you that was for the retired ladies in the church. How wrong and naive, I was to think that! God put a middle school girl in my life who wanted some attention and in the process, used her to help me understand that God calls all believers to discipleship. It is something we call, the Great Commission, "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations..." (Matthew 28:19) God used my years with her to help me grow in relationship with Him as we experienced life together. Seven or so years later, I consider her a sweet sister and always enjoy the opportunity to talk about the Word together and the work that God is doing in our lives.

I'm thankful that God did not stop with one girl, but continues to put people into my life. I would not consider myself an "older woman," although 30 seems like it some days. Titus 2 reminds me that God desires to use women in this area to teach other women, "Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women..."(Titus 2:3-4a) My desire is to be obedient God's Word and hopefully teach others to be obedient to God's Word as well. Even though our efforts fall short each day, I am thankful that He uses people for discipleship. I had no idea of the truths from God's Word that I would learn as I desired to teach others, and am so thankful that discipleship is a growing process. "And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." (Philippians 1:6)

22 for 31. Brothers (Part 2)

2011-08-23T19:33:00.000-05:00

Brothers - The Youngest.

Since 1984, I have had Middle Child Syndrome. (Haha, not really.) 26 almost 27 years ago, our family welcomed James David into the world, I prefer to call him Jimbo. I have a lot more memories of him because we were closer in age and he didn't move away when I was a preteen. (No offense, Darryl.) ;) At a young age, like 2 months, I remember Jimbo liked to pinch people. I'm sure that he was never aggravated by his older sister, he was just a pincher. He was the cutest kid of the bunch with a really round head and big ears. Mom liked to call him Charlie Brown. She also liked for him to wear bowties. I failed in finding a bowtie picture, but I'm sure Jim had one suit for like the first two or three years of life. It was pinstripe blue with a vest and a bowtie.


Christmas some year - We are from Arkansas; kids played with tractors.

Jim established himself early on as the funny one in the family. As the baby, he had Mom wrapped around his finger and he knew it. Darryl and I have stories of how much better the baby was treated, but no worries, we are not bitter. :) Jim did not get into as much trouble as he should have... I think by the time Mom and Dad got him, they were tired from disciplining their daughter, so Jim got away with stuff.

As teenagers, Mom said that we needed some family time. For this special bonding time, we would watch the Sound of Music. This began our tradition of Sound of Music singalongs. We mostly dislike the movie now. Jim and I can also quote Green Eggs and Ham back and forth to one another. Important things you get to experience with your brother.

I only remember one major fight with this little brother. It wasn't pretty and I apologized quickly. There are probably like a million and one stories I have about Jimbo. He's not afraid to tell the story of Thanksgiving of 1999 to anyone we meet. He has a list of nicknames for me and has called me everything from fatty to the most common "Snow" - because I have super white skin.

The last time Jimbo was shorter than me - 1996.

When Mom got sick, he became a pretty faithful buddy. On the day we buried Mom, he understood that we should go back to the cemetery one more time, just for us. We've been through some tough things together and have had a whole lot of fun times. He is one of my closest friends and we always have a blast just hanging out. I'm not sure what God had planned for my family when He gave us Jim, but I am so thankful for my sweet little brother! A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. -Proverbs 17:17

21 for 31. Brothers. (Part 1)

2011-08-22T20:30:00.000-05:00

Brothers - The Oldest.

Big brother fixing breakfast!

Darryl and I became acquainted when he was almost 7 years old and I was well, a newborn baby. I have a few recollections of our early years together. I remember him more as a teenager. I was probably the annoying little kid in his life, who he had to watch and help take care of. For years, I tried to do the things that him and his friends did, but they all rode a bike faster, hit a baseball further, and could actually catch a football. One of my earliest memories of Darryl is with our "go-cart." We had something that resembled a go-cart made for parts of an old lawnmower. Sometimes it kinda sorta worked and other times, we just pushed people in it. About once a week, Darryl would take the go-cart apart, just for the fun of it and then put it back together. This should have been an early indication of what he should do in life... Darryl's first car was this awesome old green truck. We listened to Contemporary Christian Music in the truck when Mom would make him drive me places. CCM wasn't allowed in our house, so I felt pretty special that Darryl and I had a cool secret to share. I was 10 or 11 at that time - that was a big deal.

Darryl and I became friends when he joined the Army sometime in 1992. We wrote snail mail letters back and forth. I think those summers of him being away really helped both of us grow up. I wasn't dependent on my older brother to take care of me and he realized that God did not give little sisters just to ruin your life. After the summers away in the Army, Darryl went to Bob Jones University. (He's a little bit crazy.) I think he loved college life. Jimbo and I missed him, but did alright. We did not miss him making tuna casserole. Yes, everytime we talk to Darryl or about Darryl, we kinda have to bring up tuna casserole w/the crushed chips on top. To this day, we are not sure why anyone would think kids would like tuna casserole. Now, he just puts mushrooms in everything he cooks. So random.

I can't really say a whole lot about Darryl without talking a bit about Becky. Darryl met Becky sometime in 1994. They have an interesting story... They survived most of the their dating years at BJU. I didn't care too much for Becky at first. She won me over with multiple trips to the mall and a shared love for cookie sandwiches (aka dinky doozies.) With a little attitude adjustment, I came to love Becky and was happy when we added another girl to our family in December 1996. We used to write letters to one another too. She gave great advice to a crazy middle school girl. At this point, I have known Becky for more than half my life and cannot really remember too much of life without her. Darryl definitely married way out of his league when he got her!

Now, Darryl is the ultimate geek working with computers and a Dad to three of my favorite kiddos. We only work a few minutes away from one another, so he still buys lunch sometimes. Also, he still has that overprotectiveness that older brothers are born with. I'm not sure I could've asked God for a better older brother. I got exactly what I needed. We've been through a lot of good stuff and some bad times together and I wouldn't trade him or our experiences for anything.

Becky, Darryl, and Jim - December 1996

20 for 31. Favorite Picture.

2011-08-21T21:46:00.000-05:00

This is my favorite picture.

It was taken with a cell phone on July 16, 2008. The evening before, our family had been told by the Doctor that Mom would soon be going to meet Jesus. When Mom was sick, if you went to visit her, she would hold your hand. She loved holding hands. This is her holding Jim's hand. We would sit at the hospital for hours, just holding hands. We have no other pictures from the hospital, and for me this one is perfect. Just a week later, Aunt Connie and I would hold Mom's hand as she was carried into the presence of Jesus.

19 for 31. Being an Aunt.

2011-08-21T16:15:00.001-05:00

From the moment my older brother got married in 1996, I think I ready to be an aunt. As a 15 year old, it seemed like one of the best possible things... Well, the Lord's timing forced me to wait until 2001. It was a cold day in February when I received that long awaited phone call. Darryl was somewhere in Ohio at the time I think. I don't remember any of our conversation except for that fact that he said, "You are going to be an aunt!!! He may have not used that much enthusiasm, but you get the idea. From that point on, I was so excited.

The first boy was born in November and the excitement of meeting him that Thanksgiving was insane. He was the cutest baby with a big, round head. It was an incredible joy to realize that you could love someone who was completely dependent on his parents and others, and who didn't have any idea what it meant to love you back. He was special and precious in so many ways. He is so much like my brother and dad. Now, he is mainly too cool to hang with me because of my lack of Nintendo DSI knowledge. We do share a common love for Legos. He is almost 10 and still has this place in my heart... He is the kid who made me an aunt.

Almost exactly two years later, our family was blessed with the girl. The girl shares my love for pink and purple. She might be a little more girly than I am. She is funny and so artistic. If you ever visit my office, she has some artwork in there. She is pretty forgiving like when I hit her in the head while playing Kinect. She is a mini-me of her mom and the middle child. As the middle child, we can relate. Since her arrival, it is always been more fun to go shopping for clothes. Now, she makes sure to tell me if it has been too long since we have seen one another. I love her honesty!

Finally, in 2007, the baby boy came. This was in the middle of my brother's family moving from Ohio and my Mom being sick. He was a joy in the middle of her cancer treatments. We have some sweet pictures of him and Mom together. I know he will not remember her, but Darryl, Becky, and others will remember how he made her smile, even on the bad days. This boy is a wild child with more energy than I can imagine. He gets excited and says, "Sha, Sha, Sha" when I show up for a visit. Sha is a nickname from the niece and nephews - I like that it stuck.

The latest niece was added in April of this year. I will just call her K. Her mom likes to blog about all her sweet adventures here. K belongs to my adopted middle sis, A and my bro-in-law P. She is kinda like me in that she is nosy and likes a crowd of people. She is still a little on the small side, but from what I have discovered she likes Jerry's Sno Cones and her thumb. She worries about me which makes me feel kinda special. I admire her Mom and Dad because they got to do something I've always wanted to do - adopt! I think that will need to be a post in itself! Love some K and her parents for letting me be her Auntie!

God has given me some more "adopted" nieces and nephews in my church family. Sweet friends with fun kids, who like to call me "Shady." It is a title I enjoy, despite what connotations shady may have. The best word to describe being an aunt - Joy.

18 for 31. Prayer.

2011-08-20T21:58:00.000-05:00

Today has been a day of prayer and thinking. A lot of times I encounter believers who talk about not being consistent in their prayer life. As people, we talk a lot everyday, but fall short in talking to God. I don't want to be that person. I want to recognize that there is power when a believer prays and be expectant that God hears and answers. Prayer has had a major impact on my life in these ways:

1. People have prayed for me. For as long as I can remember, I knew that my parents and grandparents prayed for me. I'm sure there were many others as well. When I got to the age where I could grasp the truth that people prayed for me, I realized what a blessing it is that they cared enough to pray. I'm sure my parents and grandparents prayed for my salvation for a long time. When my Grandpa and Mom passed away, one of my first thoughts was that I would definitely miss knowing that they were praying for me. They were faithful in their prayers. Even now, I am humbled when random people come up to me and say, "I am praying for you." My only response is "Thank You." I love that others in my life are living out the truth to pray for one another. I like what James 5:16b says, "The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." Amen and Amen.

2. I was taught how to pray. I know that sounds kinda prideful, like I am the perfect pray-er. That's not what I mean all, but my mom thought it was important that her daughter know how to pray. She taught me to talk and I'm glad she also taught me how to talk to God. Never should we be excused from prayer simply because we don't know how. Jesus was the perfect example and gave us a model in the Lord's Prayer, not necessarily to have to pray those specific words, but how to pray and what to pray for. I think it is an excellent example to follow especially when the words of Jesus serve as our teacher, "Now Jesus was praying in a certain place, and when he finished, one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray, as John taught his disciples.” And he said to them, “When you pray, say: “Father, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come..." (Luke 11:1-2)

3. My weakness is prayer is matched with the Holy Spirit's strength. Life is rough sometimes and there are always points where we don't know what to say to God on behalf of others or ourselves. The Bible says that doesn't matter, "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words." (Romans 8:26) Often I have cried out to the Lord, not knowing what how to verbalize the brokenness of my heart. The Spirit knows and His work brings me great comfort and joy.

4. My anxious heart finds rest in God's sovereignty. Philippians 4:6-7, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

This list is definitely not exhaustive, but a small reminder of the power of prayer in my life. Thankful for a God who calls us to a relationship and opens the door for us to communicate with Him through prayer!

17 for 31. Computers, Social Networking, and Such.

2011-08-19T22:01:00.001-05:00

I will return to more serious/spiritual posts soon...

I'm a big fan of the digital age. I'm thankful I did not have to grow up plunking on a typewriter and using other products we would consider "outdated" now. I was a big fan of cassette tapes and my walkman as a kid/preteen, but I am glad things have progressed since that. The first computer I remember in my house was a Commodore 128.

I'm sure that computer was as awesome as it looks now with it's fancy floppy disk drive. My favorite game was probably Frogger. Yep, that's what I'm talking about...

Graphics were so awesome back in the day.

My family got the internet in 1995. We were the first ones in our group of friends, church family, etc. People thought my dad was bad for letting the "trash" of the internet into our house. According to some people we knew, "Christians shouldn't use the Internet. It is evil." He would just tell people that it was a great educational tool for his kids and they would monitor what we did on the internet. Dad followed up on that statement.

Obviously technology has progressed into some of the wonderful things that I enjoy now --- Facebook, Twitter, or anything on the iPhone. Side note ---- I had to wait for awhile before I joined Twitter because of dare from Adam and Nathan. For the record, I was stubborn and won "the dare." Don't dare me to do or not do things... ---- (Side note over).

I like what John Piper has to say about Facebook and Twitter.

I see two kinds of response to social Internet media like blogging, MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, and others.

One says: These media tend to shorten attention spans, weaken discursive reasoning, lure people away from Scripture and prayer, disembody relationships, feed the fires of narcissism, cater to the craving for attention, fill the world with drivel, shrink the soul’s capacity for greatness, and make us second-handers who comment on life when we ought to be living it. So boycott them and write books (not blogs) about the problem.

The other response says: Yes, there is truth in all of that, but instead of boycotting, try to fill these media with as much provocative, reasonable, Bible-saturated, prayerful, relational, Christ-exalting, truth-driven, serious, creative pointers to true greatness as you can...

“All things were created through Christ and for Christ” (Colossians 1:16). The world does not know it, but that is why Twitter exists and that’s why I tweet.

I hope as a believer I am using the technology that He gives for His glory. I am grateful for the opportunities provided in our time to share Jesus through technology. May we use it to make much of Him!

16 for 31. Apple.

2011-08-18T20:37:00.000-05:00

"It is not idolatry, but righteous love for the iPhone." -Josh Harris

This post has no spiritual implications at all, just a post to express my joy and delight for this sign.

I love the people/friends in my life, but want to beat them up when they tell me how much better a Droid is. They may be right, but what is a droid and who wants one when you can have an iPhone? An iPhone very clearly tells you exactly what it is... a phone that belongs to me.

First, I was sold on Apple products with an iPod, but everyone has one of those. My older brother should take the blame for my love for things made by Apple. He talked me into buying a Macbook about 4 years ago. I still use the Macbook daily. I like the simplicity of it. I like iPhoto and iTunes... sometimes I use the fancier stuff like iMovie. It just works and it works well for me.

My iPhone was given to me and is one of the most fantastic and useful gifts I have ever received. It is kinda old, but still works great, so I'm keeping it. I'm sure any smartphone would do a great job and meet the needs of the things I use my iPhone for, but why have a plain, ole smartphone when you can have an iPhone.

I also have superficial reasons for my love for Apple Products... They are just better looking. Simple as that. I'm a girl I like pretty things, a Macbook is a pretty thing.

Lastly, I leave you with this fantastic/sarcastic blog post written awhile back about using Apple products and being a better Christian. Please do not be offended by this as it is meant to be funny and not offensive.

15 for 31. Surrender.

2011-08-17T21:57:00.000-05:00

Part of this post was part of an old blog post back in 2006. Nobody read my blog then, so I thought I could post it again. Before I decided that I would surrender to be used by the Lord in Christian ministry, I wrestled. I wrestled with the Lord in my mind and actions. The main reason for this wrestling is because I didn't want to be like my parents. I wanted to be better off financially and not deal with some of the heartaches and heartbreaks that the ministry had caused them. More than anything, I did NOT want to be them. I was definitely the girl that said I will gladly serve the church, but I will never be like Mom and Dad and serve full-time in Christian ministry.

-Excerpt from a previous blog...
Somewhere back in April 2003, I wrote down these words in a journal from Isaiah 42:16, "I will bring the blind by a way they did not know; I will lead them in paths they have not known, I will make the darkness light before them, And crooked places straight. These things I will do for them, And not forsake them." This was one of the verses that God used to point my heart in the direction of full-time Christian service. God used this to soften me for the next best thing He desired to show me. I was blindly reaching out for something and God planted this verse in my heart as I could not get it out my head. Around that time, God used some Godly people in my life, including my parents, to help me see clearly that His way was so much better than mine.

I had set out to control my future and pursue success in my career and financially. God had different plans, and had to do quite the work on this stubborn heart. I'm thankful He doesn't give up on me when I want to choose my own way. I'm thankful He didn't give me the success I was so desperately craving. I don't think I would have handled it well and would have given the credit to myself. Instead He has shown me that He will lead me through the right paths and make darkness light. Not one time have I felt forsaken by my wise Heavenly Father. He knew what was best for me and He knows what will be best. Still a lesson I'm learning.

All my plans and all my dreams
I’m giving it all to You
I lay it all down at Your feet
I’m Yours

So what song can I sing but this song?

I’m giving it all back to You
All back to You
I surrender
I’m giving it all back to You
All back to You
This is my surrender
Take it all
Take it all
Lord, take it all
Take it all
-My Surrender, Steven Curtis Chapman

14 for 31. 1 Samuel 12:23-24

2011-08-16T21:50:00.000-05:00

My little brother informed me that I was behind on my blogging. That's why God gave me Jim, to inform me of my inadequacies in life. More on him in the future.

Today is the actual day of my birth. 30 years ago on a Sunday afternoon, I made my entrance into the world. I think I have a funny birth story, but it is better to tell it in person. I was a late birthday present for my Dad. I'm thankful he didn't try to return me. :)

1 Samuel 12:23-24 seem to have become my birthday verses. Actually, they were Mom's verses for her kids. I can't find a card or letter she wrote to me without these verse. I wish I would have asked more about them when she was alive, but they are a bit self explanatory. "Moreover, as for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by ceasing to pray for you, and I will instruct you in the good and the right way. Only fear the Lord and serve Him faithfully with all your heart. For consider what great things He has done for you." Theses words were Samuel's final address to his beloved Israel. The past few birthdays have prompted me to look closer at these verses and if I am striving towards what Mom prayed for so many years.

I made a resolution in 2011 to try to study, learn, and practice the fear of the Lord more. The book of Proverbs says, "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight." (9:10) Understanding and practicing the fear of the Lord seems to be an everyday challenge in my life. Adam tries to tell me that as we grow as believers, we get a better understanding of the fear of the Lord and how to practice it, but it will always be an ongoing process here on this earth. I agree. It is easy to talk about fearing the Lord and harder to practice, but God gives what we need to practice truths from His Word, so thankful that I can learn from God's wisdom!

The next part of the verse talks about serving the Lord faithfully. This is also an ongoing process. I get the opportunity to learn faithfulness from the only One who can truly be called Faithful. He is Faithful; His Word is Faithful! Am I serving Him faithfully? I certainly hope so and I know by His grace He will sustain me until He calls me home.

"Consider what great things He has done for you." That's why I am writing these reflections - to consider. When I consider big things---Salvation, Life---it prompts consideration for lists and lists of little things or should I say great things He has done. At times my faith seems so small; I don't expect God to do great things, but He has and He has done them for me.

In the coming year, I hope to fear the Lord more, serve Him faithfully, and consider what He has done. I'm thankful today for Mom and Dad who gave me life, prayed, and taught me from the Word. Truly great things He has done!

13 for 31. New Mercies.

2011-08-16T06:11:00.000-05:00

In 30 years of life, I would say that I have had a few bad days. Some bad days were caused by circumstances beyond my control. Most of my bad days have been caused by myself. I've said a lot of unkind words and hurt others with the things I did or did not do. Mostly, I've committed sin that has lead to more problems and effected people in my life, but ultimately it hinders relationship with my Heavenly Father. So often, I have taken great comfort and joy in these verses in Lamentations 3:22-24, "The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, says my soul, therefore I will hope in Him." I love these verses as they remind me of what I am not, but who my Lord is. I could never make claims of steadfast love, continual mercy and faithfulness. Those who put their hope in me will surely be let down, but because of who He is, you and I can have hope.
Today, I am hoping for a good day, but I'm sure some rough days are ahead. I need this continual reminding of who the Lord truly is. I need those new mercies each morning. He is the faithful Provider of exactly what we need.

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with thee,
Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not,
As thou has been, thou forever will be.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thine own great presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today, and bright hope for tomorrow
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside.

Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me!

12 for 31. Legacy of Faithful Marriages.

2011-08-15T22:26:00.000-05:00

So many good things happen in August. Today is my Aunt Bonnie and Uncle Jerry's 46th anniversary. As they were sweet to inform me this past weekend, they were children when they got married. Well, maybe not children, but young. It prompted thoughts about the extended family that God has blessed me with. Before my Grandpa went to Heaven, him and Grandma had celebrated 67 years of marriage together. My mom and dad made it to 40 years. My dad's sisters have all celebrated more than 40 years of marriage with their spouses. This is one of those blessings, that I often miss as I go about my everyday life. In a world of divorce and broken relationships, I am grateful for their example that love can last a lifetime. Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote to a young bride and groom once, "...it is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love." For each aunt and uncle, I have heard stories of how life has been rough, but have also seen their faithfulness to one another during the good times and the bad. I have seen sacrifices and promises kept between them and how God has strengthened their relationships. Looking at them now, it is fun to see that not only are they husband and wife, but great friends! Today, I am thankful for the legacy of faithful marriages God has given in my family! Thank you for your sweet example to my cousins, my brothers, and myself! You are loved and admired!

"Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." -Genesis 2:18

11 for 31. Mission Trips.

2011-08-15T07:14:00.000-05:00

In the Summer of 2004, I went on my first Mission Trip. Prior to the summer, you have to choose to go on the trip. My church was sponsoring a trip to Brazil. One part of the team would participate in a Medical Mission. The other part would drive up the mountains of Brazil to a small church and do sports camp. Guess which team I decided to go with? A ten-hour drive up the mountain in a school bus was not the most pleasant, but God allowed me to keep my lunch. The trip went exactly as planned, except it was freezing. Each day, a huge group of kids were there to greet us as we walked up to the church. We had a fantastic week of playing basketball, wiffle ball, soccer, and volleyball. They didn't need us to teach soccer or volleyball, they were so much better than us. During the evenings, we would worship at the homes of church members. One of the sweetest times for me was when we knew a song and would sing it in English and they would sing in Portuguese. I cried my eyes out as I got on the bus for home. What an incredible week we had in that little city. Little did I know that God would allow me to come back to Brazil two more times to serve on Mission Teams! (I cannot find pictures from 2004. I'm sure I have them on a cd somewhere!)

Before the next summer, I would begin to work at a church serving with Student Ministries and Missions. I'm so glad my first mission trip wasn't my only one. I have had the privileged of serving in Czech Republic, Honduras, and in a few different place in the US. I hope and pray that my Mission Trip serving is not even close to over, but God grants many more opportunities. I love when God opens the door for believers to assist another body of believers in a place where the Gospel may not be so well known or Missionaries are on their own with trying to reach a huge group of people. A Mission Trip is simply a chance to help build the Kingdom! I'm thankful for those amazing opportunities God has allowed in my life!

Psalm 67
May God be gracious to us and bless us

and make his face to shine upon us, Selah

that your way may be known on earth,

your saving power among all nations.

Let the peoples praise you, O God;

let all the peoples praise you!

Let the nations be glad and sing for joy,

for you judge the peoples with equity

and guide the nations upon earth. Selah

Let the peoples praise you, O God;

let all the peoples praise you!

The earth has yielded its increase;

God, our God, shall bless us.

God shall bless us;

let all the ends of the earth fear him

10 for 31. Dad.

2011-08-13T13:28:00.000-05:00

Today is my Dad's birthday. Happy Birthday to my favorite Dad, ever. He's a few years older than me... quite a few. My dad cannot be described in just a few short sentences, he's more like a one-of-a-kind. He's Godly and loves his family. He is geeky and enjoys technological stuff like computers, fancy cameras, and amateur radio. He has done a lot of stuff in his life, like being in the Navy. He has experienced a lot of things that I have admired, like being in the ministry.

Dad has definitely been a spiritual father to me as well as my earthly father. His favorite books of the Bible are probably Proverbs and Philippians. The best advice he ever gave me from Proverbs was this verse, "The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it." (Proverbs 27:12). Dad likes to talk a lot about being prudent. (If he is passionate about something you know it, cause he talks about it, a lot.) He helped me wrestle through a lot of theology and doctrine when I was in school, and continues to listen even now. When it comes to spiritual things, he has never talked down to me, but will talk in a way that would hopefully be a learning opportunity for me. I also appreciate his insight into ministry, since he has had a few years of experience in Christian ministry as well.

Dad is not just a good man, I think above all else, he is Godly man. He's retired now, but still serving Jesus where he is. I admire that and will continue to look to him for Godly wisdom. Happy Birthday Dad! I pray that Lord gives you many more years to serve Him.

The righteous who walks in his integrity-- blessed are his children after him! -Proverbs 20:7

9 for 31 - Salvation Story.

2011-08-11T07:27:00.000-05:00

"but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." -Romans 5:8

A testimony of salvation is such an amazing thing for so many reasons. It is the work that God does in an individual person's life. How He works on hearts so personally for so many baffles me. Another beautiful aspect is that the salvation story doesn't stop at conversion, but continues.

I was somewhere in the my 10th year of life when I repented of my sins and confessed Christ as my Savior and Lord. My church mainly used the Roman's Road plan for explaining the Gospel from Scripture. My mom was the one who truly helped me understand what it means to be saved and accept Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. I will not ever forget my Dad's excitement when I told him. I realized at that time, Godly parents pray for the salvation of their kids. I love that salvation is available for all and even a child can receive it. I love that our salvation is still taking place as we are sanctified more and more to be like Christ. I love the blessed hope that one day our salvation will be complete.

I used to have a hard time with my testimony because I wasn't saved from anything crazy, or so I thought. Only when I took a closer look at Ephesians 2 did I begin to grasp the magnitude of the greatness of salvation. "And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience--" (Ephesians 2:1-2) It changes my perspective and thoughts on salvation when I think about being dead in sin. How horrible! Ephesians 2 contains more than 2 verses though.

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— (Ephesians 2:4-5) "Alive together with Christ" - I cannot think of anything greater than being able to make this claim. Alive because of Christ and His work on the cross! A testimony of the work of Christ is a big deal when I think that He brought me from death to life. The same is true for all those who have repented and placed their trust in Christ alone for salvation. Death to Life. Still amazes me. Still glory in God's Work.

Adam taught the students at church this song a year or two ago. It's an awesome picture of Salvation's Story, including Ephesians 2.

Made Us Alive.
Written by Seth Jones, Michael Bleecker, Jeff Capps, Isaac Wimberley, and John Warren

The weight of all of my shame
Released when You came
And gave up Your life
The freedom You give in Your grace
Chains broken replaced
With Your own life

We sing to the One who has made us alive
We sing to the One who has made us alive

There on the cross He bore our sins
And we became His righteousness
Now we stand here justified
Now we live because He died

Crucified with Christ,
No longer we live,
But Christ lives within
You’re crowned with many crowns,
Our praises resound,
To Jesus our King

He came to a broken world that was yearning for a Savior moaning for a rescue
We came dead in our sins, with our blinded eyes just hoping for a breakthrough
By His grace, He has shown us hope, He has shown us joy, He has given us life
And it’s only by the blood of the King that we sing
We sing to the One Who has made us alive
We sing to the One Who has made us alive
We sing to the One Who has made us alive
We sing, oh we sing

8 for 31 - Old Friends.

2011-08-10T21:37:00.000-05:00

Today, my friend Micah turns 30. Happy Birthday dear friend!! Micah is 6 days older than me. Our moms met when we were still in womb. Micah's family lived down the street from me. I think we were friends before we knew what friends were, then we when figured it out we became inseparable. Before we went to school, we spent all day playing at each others houses. If one of our parents had to leave we just went to the other person's house. Micah's house had the best toys and my mom always had homeade snacks, so we had the best of all worlds. We went to different preschools and eventually different schools, but as soon as we got home for the day, I was off to find Micah or wait for her bus to come home! I don't remember a lot of fights, although I am sure we had our moments. I'm so thankful to call her my lifelong friend. (I wish I had a good picture of us, but most of them are a bit embarrassing.)

God blessed me with a church friend in the nursery who continues to be my friend today! Kimberly and I met somewhere in our first couple months of life. As we grew up, we had the best slumber parties at her house and watched the movie, "It's a Mad, Mad World" more times than we could count. Her parents and my parents were very close friends, so Kim and I had many opportunities to hang out. We have great memories and can look back as having survived the "Independent Baptist years" together. She turned 30 a few months ago and it was my joy to be able to celebrate with her, even if she wasn't crazy about the surprise party!

Although I did not meet her when I was a baby, Misty became my friend somewhere in elementary school. I think we disliked each other than becomes friends, then disliked each other again and then... Well, we were girls and you know how the friendship cycle goes. I still enjoy getting to hang out with her. We share a mutual love for El Acapulco in Jonesboro and will always laugh when we think about the fact that, "It's not a party unless there is cheese dip." (Good words of wisdom.)

God gave me a few Memphis friends that I would consider old friends. The first friend I had in Memphis was Danyel. We met in Accounting class. Why we decided to be Accounting majors, only God knows. Her family has loved me as one of their own and my parents were always pretty fond of her as well. They would always feed us poor college students. Danyel also decided that I should learn a choreographed dance for her wedding. I told her this white Baptist girl didn't dance. She thought I could learn. Hopefully, I didn't embarrass her too much on her special day. We definitely look back on that day and laugh, and she also knows that I don't/can't dance. She's the friend where you always pick up where you left off.

My old friends circle is complete with Amanda and Eric. They go together. I was their friend first and got shafted when they decided to date one another and eventually get married. A fantastic reason to get shafted! I'm not exactly sure when we became friends, well I kinda remember, but who needs to hear that. :) They've been around for a lot of stuff. I have had the joy of sharing life, church, and so much more with them. They have real good theology, so we get along well. Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. (Proverbs 27:17) Their friendship is something that I truly treasure in my life.

When my mom passed away each one of these old friends showed up. It overwhelmed my heart and made me even more grateful to them. They are a gift from God. I am reminded that He gives all good things, including friendships! Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. (James 1:17)

7 for 31. Psalm 34.

2011-08-09T22:04:00.000-05:00

When I get the opportunity to tell people about the comfort I find in the Word of God, my mind automatically runs to Psalm 34. The Bible is full of amazing promises, encouragement, words of peace and joy, but for obvious reasons Psalm 34 is extra special to me. I am so often reminded that the comfort and promises outside of Scripture are temporary and help for a moment. The comfort and promises from the Word are lasting and sure. They are sure because Scripture says so, "This God—His way is perfect; the Word of the Lord proves true; He is a shield for all those who take refuge in Him." (Psalm 18:30)

Tonight, I offer no commentary on my favorite passage except to say verses 8 and 18 are my favorites, but I really just love the whole chapter. May you find comfort and joy in the Word of the Lord that always proves true!

I will bless the Lord at all times;

His praise shall continually be in my mouth.

My soul makes its boast in the Lord;

let the humble hear and be glad.

Oh, magnify the Lord with me,

and let us exalt His name together!

I sought the Lord, and He answered me

and delivered me from all my fears.

Those who look to Him are radiant,

and their faces shall never be ashamed.

This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him

and saved him out of all his troubles.

The angel of the Lord encamps

around those who fear him, and delivers them.

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!

Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!

Oh, fear the Lord, you His saints,

for those who fear Him have no lack!

The young lions suffer want and hunger;

but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.

Come, O children, listen to me;

I will teach you the fear of the Lord.

What man is there who desires life

and loves many days, that he may see good?

Keep your tongue from evil

and your lips from speaking deceit.

Turn away from evil and do good;

seek peace and pursue it.

The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous

and his ears toward their cry.

The face of the Lord is against those who do evil,

to cut off the memory of them from the earth.

When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears

and delivers them out of all their troubles.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted

and saves the crushed in spirit.

Many are the afflictions of the righteous,

but the Lord delivers him out of them all.

He keeps all his bones;

not one of them is broken.

Affliction will slay the wicked,

and those who hate the righteous will be condemned.

The Lord redeems the life of His servants;

none of those who take refuge in Him will be condemned.

6 for 31 - Fingerprints of God.

2011-08-08T21:18:00.000-05:00

Work and the need for rest kinda got the best of me, so I'm a bit behind, but I will catch up. No worries.

For You formed my inward parts; You knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well. (Psalm 139:13-14).

My family is a big fan of life. That's like a duh statement, right!?! My parents had kids a little later than some. Mom had a miscarriage between my older brother and myself. I like to think that God has a sister for me in Heaven, but I'm sure He probably blessed me with another brother. Someday, we will know. Jimbo was born right before Mom turned 40 and we decided to keep him. I think the parents got 2 votes and kids only got 1. Either way, we got him (and we love him.) I tried to get my parents to adopt a little sister for me when I was around the age of 9. My persuasive words were unsuccessful, even though I tried for many years. Somewhere along the way, my parents had instilled in me the value of life and not because it was a good thing, but because it was a God-thing. My mom was especially a fan of the outcast kid, the one who everyone else had given up on. She loved them. I think she tried to teach some of this compassion to her family, and it is a lesson we are still learning. In my family, we were taught to value and treasure all human life, because God, the Designer, creates and values life.

This truth has prompted one of my most enjoyable, compassion-learning experiences. Three to four years ago, God gave me the opportunity to work alongside a crisis pregnancy center for a student ministry event. Little did I know at the time, that He was softening my heart to learn to have compassion on others who needed to know of the grace of God. I'm not really the normal crisis pregnancy volunteer. I don't have tough story from my past where I can related to girls in crisis pregnancy situations. I realized that I didn't need a tough situation to rest in the truth that each life God gives is valuable and a perfect Creator does not make mistakes. I just needed a heart of compassion - God's still working on that in my life. :) In true Kelly fashion, as I have been told so many times, "If you miss the lesson, you missed the point of why God has you in that place..." These are lessons I have learned from the crisis pregnancy center (I'm sure there are many more):

The power of the Gospel is the only thing that changes life.
The grace of God extends beyond any crisis, any sin.
The Gospel must be preached to myself before it can be shared with others.
All our dependency is on the Lord as He is the Sustainer of life.

My heart has been torn apart at times when I encounter a sweet girl trying to choose the best in what she sees as a hopeless situation. My heart has also been overwhelmed at times when I have seen God take a girl from that point of hopelessness to experiencing new life in Christ.

Never has there been and never again
Will there be another you
Fashioned by God's hand and perfectly planned
To be just who you are
And what He's been creating
Since the first beat of your heart
Is a living, breathing
Priceless work of art
-Fingerprints of God, Steven Curtis Chapman.

"Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well."

5 for 31 - Work.

2011-08-05T22:12:00.000-05:00

I'm a little late on the blog thing today because of this thing I do each day called Work. The past few days have been kinda crazy, but I love what I do, so I just go with it (sometimes). I decided maybe I should blog about work, not my specific job in general, but more of like how work has effected my almost 30 years of life. I can now say that I have worked for more than half my life. Crazy. My first job started the summer I was 14 - I babysit a little girl named Emily. It was a real deal job from 8-5, Monday-Friday. I don't have a clue how much money I made, but I am thankful for the experience. From the end of that summer, I transitioned to a cool part-time office job. I worked that throughout High School. It was definitely a great job for a student. Like most, I have worked in many different areas - I did my time in retail sales and had a banking job, plus a few other random things. Last night, I was waiting and contemplating what I have learned from my years of work.

My parents taught me to work hard. Little did I know at the time that this a Biblical truth, "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men," (Colossians 3:23). I remember being taught truths from the "work ethic" of the ant in Proverbs as opposed to the sluggard. These are good truths, but maybe the bigger question for me would be, "What truth has the Lord shown me about Himself because of work?"

What I have learned most from work is that the Lord provides. My job would be the first aspect that is a gift from the Lord and the ability to do the task set before me. Because of the provision of a job, my needs are met and most of my wants. My family was never wealthy, but I can never recall a time where our needs were not met. This has still been true even in my adult years. Because of the Lord providing work, the Lord has been faithful to provide for what I needed. Luke 12:22-31 is always a good reminder that the Lord is our provider. He knows what we need, including a job.

Today, I am thankful for work, whether it is a past or present job. Over and over again, He has shown Himself to be the faithful Provider.

4 for 31 - The Resurrection.

2011-08-04T06:00:00.004-05:00

It is not Easter, but the Resurrection should not just be celebrated on that special day. Last night, we talked about Jesus our Savior in our table groups at church. We are studying the book, "What is the Gospel?" The last part of the chapter hits hard on the truth of the Resurrection. I believe that as each year of my life passes, the promise of the Resurrection grows sweeter to me. Simple reasons why I love and rest in the truth of the Resurrection--

Proves Jesus is who He said He was. He is not dead, He is alive. His death and resurrection made salvation's story complete, and because of that we can have eternal life. (Romans 10:9)
Believers have the grand opportunity of serving the living God. I know of no other religion apart from Christianity that can make that claim. (Matthew 28:6)
Because Christ was resurrected, believers have the promise of being resurrected. (1 Corinthians 15:20-23)
The death and resurrection of Christ was more than enough to satisfy the wrath of God for believers and we can rejoice in that, but there's more! The living Savior continues to intercede on behalf of believers to the Father. He's our Heavenly advocate! Amazing. (Romans 8:34)

I'm sure there are many more reasons why the resurrection of Christ is so important! As I was dwelling on these thoughts a song came into my mind. I love these words, as they always get stuck in my head when I hear the song.

Christ is Risen by Matt Maher

Let no one caught in sin remain
Inside the lie of inward shame
But fix our eyes upon the cross
And run to Him
Who showed great love
And bled for us
Freely You’ve bled for us

Christ is risen from the dead
Trampling over death by death
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave

Christ is risen from the dead
We are one with Him again
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave Beneath the weight of all our sin
You bowed to none but heaven’s will
No scheme of hell
No scoffer's crown
No burden great
Can hold You down

In strength You reign
Forever let Your church proclaim

O death, where is your sting?
O hell, where is your victory?
O church, come stand in the light
The glory of God has defeated the night

O death, where is your sting
O hell, where is your victory
O church, come stand in the light
Our God is not dead,
He's alive! He's alive!

3 for 31 - School and Learning.

2011-08-03T06:39:00.000-05:00

I like learning; that may have been the reason I kinda liked school. I still like the idea of school, it sounds better than work. However, I don't think God really planned for me to be in school for forever, so I will just stick with the learning part for now.

Kindergarten through 12th Grade was spent at Eastside Baptist Academy. Dad was the principal there, plus he took care of bunch of High School kids. Mom later joined him as a Kindergarten teacher in 1993. I started in 1986 with a class full of friends. I don't remember much from my elementary years at school except for the fact that I hated subtraction and I let a box of crayons melt in the back of Dad's car. Bummer for the crayons and for me. Our school was Independent Baptist all the way including the lovely jumpers that I wore from start to finish. For those who may not know what a jumper is, I have included an example.

Despite the bad dresswear, I am truly thankful for a Christian education. I learned about awesome men of God like Martin Luther, Jonathan Edwards, and Jim Elliot as a kid. Scripture memorization was high priority! The school was almost like homeschool is structured now. My work was self-paced and helped me learn to stay motivated and do things well. It was probably not meant for everyone, but worked well for me. Middle School and High School were awkward years for me, but I persevered. I graduated in a class of 1 in 1999. (Feel free to make jokes about that.)

From EBA, I spent the Fall Semester at Bob Jones University and then a short 24-hour stay at Pensacola Christian College. After that, God lead me to Memphis. Still thankful to this day for that leading. I took classes at Southwest Tennessee Community College and the University of Memphis. Memphis was somewhat of a culture shock for this sheltered girl, but I learned quickly. It was the first time in my life that my Christianity was ever put to the test. Many people around me did not share any of my beliefs, some even professed that there was no God. (Lots of 1 Peter 3:15 moments.) I'm so very thankful for this time of learning. I thought God was preparing me to be an accountant, at least that was what I was in school for. During college, my relationship with the Lord was strengthened like it had never been before in my young life. I saw very clearly things about God that I failed to noticed before - He was my Provider, Sustainer, and I learned what it meant to depend on Him. (Still learning all these lessons.)

From the University of Memphis, God would allow me to go to Union University to work on a Master's in Christian Studies. This was my favorite schooling ever. It is so much more fun when you get to study things you want to study. This time of learning was incredible. I enjoyed the professors, especially Dr. Easley and New Testament. Theology messed with me the most. I wrestled through Scripture just trying to figure out doctrines and beliefs. This gave me a greater appreciation for Scripture. God blessed me with some sweet friendships that have continued even though school is complete. I look back at Union as a very grateful student. The truth from God's Word that was poured into my life during that time impacts what I do everyday.

Higher education is not for everyone, but I do believe it was God's plan for me. I do think that learning, especially from God's Word is for everyone. Dad used to say to me, "When you stop learning, you die." That may not be literally true, but I get his point. The book of Proverbs is one of my go-to books for learning and receiving practical instruction for life. I am thankful for the Word of God that continues to teach me and Biblical-based books that promote further learning from God's Word.

2 for 31 - Roommates

2011-08-02T06:15:00.003-05:00

Continuing with my theme of 30 reflections (actually 31) for my 30th Birthday this month, I'd like to share about:

Roommates.

I have had roommates 3 times (if you count my 1 semester at Bob Jones University). FYI, that semester at BJU was a terrible time of my life and the Lord paired me with three girls total opposite of me. I don't remember too much about our roommate situation, so I'm just going to put that in the past and move forward.

Roomies - 2005, I think.

#1 Roomies came in the summer of 2004. April and Teri came to me one Sunday morning at church and asked if I wanted to be their roommate. I told them I would pray about it. Monday we went looking at apartments. Monday afternoon, we signed a lease. These girls were serious about moving out. Prior to our move-in, we had lunch at Moe's, since they were like BFF's and just knew me from church. The three of us do not remember much about that lunch, except for the fact that we found out we all liked the same type of bread - wheat bread. Those were two of the most fun, surprising, and enjoyable years of life. We learned a lot about ourselves, each other, and how we are pretty klutzy when we run at 5am. They were so edifying to me spiritually and I am truly thankful for that! We had random jobs, changed jobs, started school, finished school, and April fell in love with David - All in 2 memorable years. We left the not-so-wonderful Poplar Place when Teri moved to Mexico for 2 years as a teacher. April and I stayed together 1 more year until her and David got married. Two great roomies, that I am happy to have shared life together with them.

#2 Roomies came in the May 2009. Darlene was living in a house and need some roommates. Teri was back from Mexico and did not want to live with her family (although they are very nice people), so we all lived in a house together. This time was a bit different because we all had full-time jobs, friends and family of our own. Mornings were the most fun times at the house as each of us were rushing around trying to do stuff, but still wanted to socialize. One of the interesting highlights of our time together was reading through the chronological Bible, it was something none of us had ever done before. For awhile we tried to read to one another outloud... that may not have been our best idea. :) Teri and Darlene were a lot of fun and I am grateful for 2 years to be their roommate. Teri bought a house and Darlene left for an adventure on the other side of the world, so we split.

Honduras Mission Trip 2010

So, why do I share about my roommates? They have been a precious part of my life. I'm thankful that God allows us to be molded and shaped by the people we share life with. My roomies could be classified as my Philippians 1:7 friends, "I hold them in my heart." Grateful for their friendship and the ways they pointed me to Jesus.

30 for 30

2011-08-01T06:33:00.000-05:00

Welcome to August. I'm turning 30 this month. I think my face frowns a bit when I say the word thirty. Whoever, invented our English number system, should have made 30 a different word so it doesn't sound so horrible when you say it. I know it is a derivative of three... Anyway, I digress.

In honor of this milestone in my life, I decided that the month of August would be for 30 reflections. Actually, it may have 31 since August has 31 days. I like odd numbers too. The reflections may be Biblical or random. I don't really have an order or system for these reflections, just things that have influenced or been important to me in the last 30 years!

Day 1 - Memorizing Scripture.

But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. (2 Timothy 3:14-17)

God gave me really good parents. They thought that Scripture was to be held with the highest authority and that it was very important for their kids to memorize passages of it! I remember Scripture being made into songs to help us memorize them. My brothers and I went to a Christian school where we were required to memorize a passage of Scripture each month. It seemed like a tough task during some months, but looking back, it just took a little bit of time. If we memorized verses outside of school, there was normally a reward associated for memorizing. I was highly motivated with money, food, etc. I am thankful for the challenge I was given to memorize as now I continue to see more clearly the value of knowing and applying God's Word. I think often we take to lightly the value of Scripture and its importance for life. The Bible clearly talks about itself as being sufficient for all things. I have experienced firsthand the truth that is is "profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness..." Who knew a practice that I started as a little kid would provide and continue to provide one of the greatest benefits of my life - knowing the Word of God. I don't pretend to know it all or have it all memorized, but I'm still working on the truth of Psalm 119:11, "I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you."

Summer Reading

2011-07-05T20:18:00.004-05:00

I don't really celebrate summertime so much, since I am no longer classified as a student, at least in the going to school sense of the word. I do like the concept of "summer reading" though, like I can knock out a few books during some free moments here and there. This is what I am currently reading or have finished this summer...

What is the Gospel?
by Greg Gilbert

We are studying this on Wednesday nights with our students. Seems like such a simple question, but you would be surprised how difficult it can be for Christians to give a definite answer to "what is the Gospel?". This is an easy read and I have greatly enjoyed it. It is actually the second 9Marks book I have read recently. Their stuff seems very well done and not tedious like a textbook, but practical for learning as a believer.

Just Do Something
by Kevin DeYoung

Kevin DeYoung may be one of my favorite bloggers. This is actually my third reading of this book. I have been reading with two of the girls I disciple, along with a study of 1&2 Timothy. I would probably recommend some reading in Proverbs while reading through this book. This is another short book, but great insight from God's Word concerning His will. I think we spend way too much time talking about God's will instead of actually carrying it out. This book actually goes well with the first one. Get a good grasp on the Gospel and then go out and do it. I actually love DeYoung's emphasis on Matthew 6:33 in this book. It is referenced quite a few times. The key to finding and doing God's will is not an enigma. The Word tells us how to live. This book is a fantastic reminder that God's Word has all we need for life, if we would just practice it!

Humility
by Andrew Murray

Another short book. I just pulled this off my shelf a few days ago. It's been looking at me for a long time. I don't really know too much about Murray. I did a search on him and found out that he was a missionary to South Africa in the 1800's-early 1900's. The book has been quite challenging so far as it looks at the example of Christ who demonstrated perfect humility. I will try to break down some of this book on the blog soon. The chapters are short, but quite convicting.

The Organized Heart
by Staci Eastin

This would be my must read recommendation for ladies this summer! This book bothered me and still continues to do so. The first chapter challenges women to put aside our idols of leisure, busyness, perfectionism, and possessions. As I read through each chapter, I realized that we try so hard to organized our lives, but fail to begin with the motives of the heart. I am not even going to attempt to put into words just how challenging this book is. It takes the truths of Scripture and tears down the idols that we so easily build in our lives. Who knew that perfectionism was an idol in my life? "Not by way of eyeservice as people pleasers, but as servants of Christ doing the will of God from the heart." -Ephesians 6:6. The thoughts and ideas of this book continue to challenge me. I cannot recommend it enough, for the busy person, it is only 103 pages. You are without excuse! Read this book.

Son of Hamas
by Mosab Hassan Yousef

The first two chapters of this book were enough to keep me reading. The different accounts in this book are unbelievable to my Americanized, Christian mind. It is an amazing story and one that will burden your heart as you think of those who are so blinded to the truth of the Gospel. A tough read with intimate details, but worth it.

Choosing to See
by Mary Beth Chapman

Steven Curtis Chapman is definitely someone I have listened to since my introduction to Contemporary Christian Music. I think the Chapman's advocacy for adoption is amazing and they have played an important parents with their adoption organization Show Hope providing grants for those adopting parents! You wonder what happens when tragedy strikes a seemingly "perfect life." I like this book for the realness of it. It is their life and their family. It is a good reminder that Christians are not always promised the easy road, but Christ offers hope in our darkest hour. They chose to "Taste and see that the Lord is good..." (Psalm 34:8).

And last but not least, the book of Luke. (I couldn't find a picture for it.) He is without a doubt my favorite Gospel writer. I know the other Gospel writers are just as significant in the Word and we often see the Apostle Paul as the grand writer in the New Testament, but for me there is something about Luke. Historical records find that Paul and Luke were friends, even traveled together as we see in the book of Acts. (Seems like Luke chose good company to keep.) It has been a fresh look for me at the ministry of Christ from His miracles, parables, revelation of who He is, and culmination with the death, burial, and resurrection of our Savior. I like Luke's attention to detail along with his convicting statements. My challenge would be to read one of the Gospels this summer. A closer look at the Savior would be my highest my recommendation for the summer!

What are your reading this summer? I would love for you to share!

Thankful for Adam

2011-06-29T07:00:00.005-05:00

Often I read Scripture and think of a person or have a connection with a certain event or time of my life. As I was thinking of Adam (which I do often), my mind went to Psalm 1. He would never say that he has perfected the words of this Psalm, but they remind me of him:
Blessed is the man

who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,

nor stands in the way of sinners,

nor sits in the seat of scoffers;

but his delight is in the law of the Lord,

and on his law he meditates day and night.

Today, I am thankful for a man who has chosen the way of the Lord over the things of this world! Adam delights in the law of the Lord and makes the Word his mediation. Adam, you are a man of integrity and of God's Word! I am truly thankful for God's blessing of you in my life!!

To My Sweet Arkansas Family (from the archives)

2011-06-25T21:21:00.001-05:00

Originally posted April 11, 2009. I spent the day with most of my Arkansas family today. (Missed you Dad and Linda). The sentiments are as true today as they were two years ago!

I just returned from a few days in Arkansas. When I was a teenager and even in my early 20's, I couldn't really stand going to Arkansas or being there. It was like some kind of obligation. Thankfully as time progresses, I've grown up and don't feel that way anymore. So, I thought I would share how I feel about my family (immediate and extended) who I get to see when I am Arkansas.

Even though it is not my home there anymore, you make me feel right at home. You invite me to come, kick off my shoes, and stay awhile. You care more about my life than most would even venture to ask. You celebrate the little joys in life and are so excited about what the future holds. You ask questions, sometimes you are nosy, but I think it is just because you care more than most. You are a safe place for me, where I don't have to worry. You allow me to talk freely and openly about ministry, but never ask me to minister in a specific situation. However, you minister to me. I am served and loved in the most incredible ways. The little things you do bring me great joy. You recharge me and encourage me. You notice little things and listen to my stories, but most of all you just let me be me. Thanks for understanding when I want to be alone and when I can stay awake till 1 am talking about everything. Thank you for saying sweet things about my Mom and helping me remember things about her. Thank you for making me laugh and laughing at me when I say or do something stupid. Thank you for reminding how blessed I truly am with an incredible family. Thank you for sacrificing your time for me, your investment in my life has not gone unnoticed. You remind me of Philippians 1. I do thank my God with every remembrance of you, and I hold you deeply in my heart.

Just in case you didn't realize or I failed to tell you, You are my favorite thing about coming home.

Jesus, I Am Resting

2011-06-11T09:26:00.000-05:00

A blog I regularly read, posted this song the other day. I am trying to practice "rest" more in my life as things around me are crazy busy! I love the truth of resting in the joy of my Savior. These words are old, but quite beautiful.

Jesus, I am resting, resting in the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness of Thy loving heart.
Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee, And Thy beauty fills my soul,
For by Thy transfoming power Thou hast made me whole.

Simply trusting Thee, Lord Jesus, I behold Thee as Thou art,
And Thy love, so pure, so changeless, satisfies my heart –
Satisfies its deepest longings, meets, supplies its ev’ry need,
Compasseth me round with blessings: Thine is love indeed!

Ever lift Thy face upon me As I work and wait for Thee;
Resting ‘neath Thy smile, Lord Jesus, earth’s dark shadows flee.
Brightness of my Father’s glory, Sunshine of my father’s face,
Keep me ever trusting, resting, Fill me with Thy grace.

Jesus, I am resting, resting in the joy of what Thou art,
I am finding out the greatness of Thy loving heart.
( Jean Sophia Pigott, 1845-1882)

Happy Mother's Day

2011-05-08T07:02:00.001-05:00

Mother's Day Reflections...

I have been challenged a little more this Mother's Day than I have in the past to not make this so hard on myself. By letting certain feelings come, it is easy to hurt or feel deep pain on this special day. I'm also reminded of the truth from God's Word that we do not grieve as those who have no hope, "But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep." (1 Thessalonians 4:13-14)

So, on this special day, I am choosing to grieve with hope and celebrate the blessings of a Godly mother. If you are blessed and your mother is still here with you, I urge you to celebrate what is. If you are like me awaiting a reunion with a Godly mother, I encourage you to celebrate what was.

I like lists (actually I love lists), so here are things I am celebrating today:

1. My mom's love for God's Word. From everything I can recall my mom believed God's Word was true and took the words of Scripture literally. How do I know? Well, I can think of a few examples. We were taught to obey authorities because of this verse, "Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you." (Hebrews 13:17). Often we were taught about the importance of time and speech with these words, "Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person." (Colossians 4:5-6). Obviously we all fall short in obeying the Word of God, but Mom also believed Psalm 119:11, "I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against You." I can think of probably a hundred verses she tried to teach us that applied to her life and ours. I'm thankful for her love for the Word and pray that my love for the Word continues to grow.

2. My mom's commitment to the Lord. I think somewhere along the way our world has let so much pride and selfishness abound that we have fallen short in faithfulness. If it doesn't make me happy, why should I bother. I love the recurring storyline in the Old Testament where we see the faithfulness of the Lord in spite of the people's selfishness and unfaithfulness. From what little information I know about my mom's childhood, I would guess that there were not a lot of faithful people in her life; a few family members and some teachers along the way. She never talked too much about her past. My family and I believed the Lord had been gracious and erased some things from her memory of the past. My mom realized her need for a Savior as a young girl, but did not make a commitment to Christ until she was a young woman. She loved to share of the time when the Lord pursued her and called her His own. I knew she recognized her sins, needed a Savior, and it was at that time she committed to serve Him. We have these words written down and signed by her, "Lord Jesus, on this 1st day of August 1964, I take by faith my place in thy death and resurrection and do yield my whole life unto Thee-- Body and Soul. ALL that I have, ALL that I am, ALL that I may ever be or have is Thine, wholly, absolutely, and unreservedly. Thou art my King, my Savior, and my Guide. USE ME, Lord in whatever way seems good to Thee, keeping my eyes fixed on Thee: ready to obey even Thy glance. Day by day draw me nearer, even nearer, until that glorious time when I shall see Thee face to face, and faith is lost in sight." Those words would offer very little hope, comfort, and peace to my heart unless they were backed up with actions. The Bible calls these actions fruit. :) Mom's actions produced fruit. She was faithful to her Savior and her family, teaching, and business reflected that. God graciously provided opportunities to lead some of the students she taught to Christ. I am grateful to be one of the opportunities God provided for her as well.
This commitment to the Lord remained faithful and unwavering through cancer. I never heard "why me?" but both of my parents took opportunities to remind me and probably themselves that the Lord had us where we were for a reason and this was our opportunity to put into practice the faith we claimed to possess. The lessons learned from cancer are greater than I can imagine - I did learn that God is bigger than cancer. He healed in the most beautiful way possible. He has proven to be faithful before, during, and since Mom was diagnosed with cancer. I'm confident He will be faithful until I see His glorious face.

Today in celebrating my Mom, I will rejoice in these two truths (they actually go together...)
1. God's Word is faithful and true.
2. God Himself is not only the Faithful Creator, but also loving Heavenly Father who proves Himself faithful and true to His children each and every day, even when I fail to acknowledge His sovereign hand.

"But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, and his righteousness to children's children," (Psalm 103:17)

This song is special to my family. These words ring true every time I hear them.

My Redeemer is Faithful and True
by Steven Curtis Chapman and James Issac Elliot

As I look back on the road I've travelled,
I see so many times He carried me through;
And if there's one thing that I've learned in my life,
My Redeemer is faithful and true.
My Redeemer is faithful and true.

My Redeemer is faithful and true.
Everything He has said He will do,
And every morning His mercies are new.
My Redeemer is faithful and true.

My heart rejoices when I read the promise
'There is a place I am preparing for you.'
I know someday I'll see my Lord face to face,
'Cause my Redeemer is faithful and true.
My Redeemer is faithful and true.

New Book!

2011-03-09T21:38:00.000-06:00

Well, I have been off the book blogging for about a month and I kind of miss it. My mind has been back and forth with the question "to book blog or not to book blog." Cheesy, I know.
So, I finally decided what it will be...

Isn't it a pretty book? You can accuse me of "judging a book by its cover." A pretty book is a perk in keeping me motivated to come back to its pages. I've got to share one disclaimer before I jump into the first chapter. This is just a personal thing...
I don't do book studies in place of a Bible study. I used to have some problems with this, of devouring a book over God's Word. Even a book about God's Word or that had a lot of God's Word in it was a problem for me. However, I do recommend a good study Bible or commentary as a companion to studying the Bible. The Holy Spirit is quite powerful and I am thankful for His work as I seek to study the Bible as my primary source and these other helpful books and materials as a secondary source to the Word. This is just my personal preference and disclaimer. On to Disciplines of a Godly Woman or for short DGW...

Chapter 1 - Discipline for Godliness
(shortest chapter of the book)
Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come. (1 Timothy 4:7) It would be incredible if godliness came naturally, but unfortunately it does not. In fact, I think I spend a lot of time fighting with my rebellious heart to get it to even consider acting godly in certain situations. In 1 Timothy here, Paul is admonishing us that training has to take place for godliness to happen, but the end results seem to make the effort worthwhile. In Hebrews, the Bible talks about laying aside hindrance and running the race set before us with endurance. (Hebrews 12:1) In DGW, she asks the question, "What is weighing you down today?" How can I train to be godly when obstacles and hindrances are in the way? A simple thought should be put forth before proceeding... "Disciplined Christian lives are the exception in today's church, not the rule." What an incredible opportunity to follow the Word and be the exception?

One roadblock needs to be dealt with before getting into the different disciplines. Discipline does not and is not equal to legalism. In DGW, it is described this way, "legalism is self-centered, discipline is God-centered." Personally, I come from a somewhat legalistic background. At times, there were situations where one had to be careful that some ideas or beliefs did not translate into gaining merit with God, or more of a works-based salvation. Discipline comes from a life that wants to be transformed by the Word of God in order to glorify Him, not to gain merit or good standing with God. (Side note: salvation is nothing you can do. -Ephesians 2:8-9) "The true heart of discipline is relationship--a relationship with God."

The chapter wraps up with an excellent thought. "A Christian's life is about bring the will under submission to God's will, and submission is an idea that has fallen on hard times." Disciplines of a Godly Woman is about submission. It is a tough word for me to grasp at times and put into practice, but I have learned, sometimes the hard way, that submitting to God's will is the best way. Each chapter concludes with a few "Renew Your Mind" questions. I will plan on sharing a few of them at the end of each blog.

What is spiritual discipline, and why is it so important? What usually prevents you from exercising spiritual discipline. (see Romans 3:9-18)
Reflect on 1 Timothy 4:7-8 ("Train yourself to be godly") What is the literal meaning of train? What does the definition tell you about the way to approach spiritual discipline?
Is there a cost to spiritual discipline? Check out 1 Corinthians 9:25-27. What could greater discipline cost you? Are you prepared to pay the price?

Comforts from the Cross - Day 31

2011-02-10T13:57:00.000-06:00

Last day from this book. I am a little bummed to be finished, but also happy to have completed something. I may give a review/reflections from the book sometime soon. On with today.

The Tree of Life

He said, "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?" - Genesis 3:11

Today's reading begins in Genesis 3. Even if you are familiar with the story, go there and read it again. These verse often prompt different emotions. If Adam and Eve had not sinned, we would still be in perfect communion in the Garden with God. If Adam and Eve had just been satisfied with the many blessing of the Lord, we would not have to deal with the evil and sin in our world. It is pretty easy to play the "what if" game with Adam and Eve, but what if is not the truth or reality. The reality is that Adam and Eve sinned, death entered the world, paradise was lost.

"On this side of the fall, we cannot possibly imagine what was lost on that day. To have been perfectly cared for and perfect protected and to enjoy unhindered communion with one another and with their Creator is a life we cannot possibly comprehend." God had to punish their sin, their disobedience. He killed an animal, made them clothing from the animal skins and sent the out of the garden. "Go out now, covered in the blood of another. You deserve to die; you deserve to be shamed, but I have covered you." Verses 14-19 show God's curse because of sin. We see one glimpse of hope for the future in verse 15, "Her offspring shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel." From this verse, prophecy of hope - a Messiah who would come and defeat Satan.

Much later, a child was born. "Adam had been clothed with skins; now, the Son of God was clothed in Adam's flesh." Amazing that He would live on this earth for years, and yet not fall to the deception and temptation of Satan (example in Matthew 4), but would indeed be the Only One worthy to provide redemption. He came to reverse the curse that sin had brought. "We are all the same. We have plucked fruit from the forbidden tree. We have declared that we know best, that we can take care of ourselves." Just like Adam and Eve, we need to be covered in the blood of another. "The God-man has been slain. The Lamb's blood has been spilt, and it covers us. Our rags have been replaced with His robes. The garden has been reopened; we've been invited back in, "Here, eat of this, it will give you life."

Today, I rejoice in the Lamb that was given to reverse the curse of sin and death. The words of John 14:6 will forever ring true, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life, no one comes to the Father except through Me." He is the Life and because He is, we have life. May you rest in Him and His life-giving work today.

Comforts from the Cross - Day 30

2011-02-09T15:29:00.001-06:00

Sit Down and Believe

We are treated as imposters, and yet are true; as unknown and yet well known; as dying, and behold, we live; as punished, and yet not killed; as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, yet possessing everything. -1 Corinthians 6:8-10

Before, I tell you about today, you need to start with this story in John 6. This is a familiar story recorded in all four gospels when Jesus feeds the multitude. Two really interesting things stand out - Jesus asked Philip where to buy bread? I'm sure Jesus knew exactly what He was going to do, but gave a little test to His disciple. Second, Andrew offered Jesus the loaves and two fishes from the little boy and then said, "what are they with so many?" After taking the loaves and fish, Jesus says something so simple, "Have the people sit down." You have read and know the story. Thousands of people were fed that day and twelve baskets were left over.

In some ways our situation is no different than the people that were following Jesus that day. Some want Jesus in hopes that He will bring healing or meet a need. Others desire Jesus because someone told Him the amazing things that He does, but when we look closely, we see we are all the same. We all have nothing. "We have no innate goodness, no righteousness, no wisdom, no strength, no miraculous power to enable us to work hard enough to meet the overwhelming needs of our souls. We are starving for true righteousness, hungering to be able to meet God's standards, languishing as we try to satisfy the ever-growing needs of those around us." Jesus bids the same for us, "Sit Down."

Later on in John 6, Jesus would share these words with those who were hungry. "Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, you are seeking me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate your fill of the loaves. Do not labor for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you. For on him God the Father has set his seal.” Then they said to him, “What must we do, to be doing the works of God?” Jesus answered them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in him whom he has sent.” So they said to him, “Then what sign do you do, that we may see and believe you? What work do you perform? Our fathers ate the manna in the wilderness; as it is written, ‘He gave them bread from heaven to eat.’” Jesus then said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, it was not Moses who gave you the bread from heaven, but my Father gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is he who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.” They said to him, “Sir, give us this bread always.” Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst." (John 6:26-35 ESV)

Paul testified in 2 Corinthians 6, that we have nothing, yet possess everything. Remember what you bring to the table - absolutely nothing; no good works, no righteousness. Rest in the promises of God's Word. As a believer, God loved you in your sin and made a way for your redemption, your sin debt has been canceled, you have been given the righteousness of Christ, you have been adopted into the family of God, you are promised a home in Heaven, and the list goes on and on. "When Jesus serves you expect to be overwhelmed."

Today, I rejoice that the Savior satisfies. He is more than enough. "I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst." (John 6:35) Sit down; eat, drink, believe.

Comforts from the Cross - Day 29

2011-02-08T06:52:00.000-06:00

Draw Near

Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. -Hebrews 10:22

Prayer. Why is it so much easier to pray when times are tough? I cry out to God in my time of need and beg for Him to hear. Most Christians you encounter would say they desire a better prayer life, myself included. Why is prayer a struggle? Elyse gives two possible reasons. First, "we don't pray is because we don't think we need to." According to the world's standards, do you think you are doing pretty well right now? I've definitely been there thinking that I was self-sufficient. God had provided food, clothing, shelter, and even many of my wants. Why pray when things are good? The problem is that "we are confirmed in our self-sufficient blindness, convinced that we are doing okay. We function as unbelievers." Has prayer ever been more a duty to you? Elyse describes it as a way to "silence our nagging conscience." We pray to make us feel better, so it is not really about Him, but us.

Second, "we have little fervor in prayer because we are not really very comfortable in God's presence." When I think that God knows my heart and my self-sufficient thinking, am I really comfortable going before Him? "We concede that we're sinful and flawed, but we are not really desperate." Do you know the only thing that will motivate us and help us to love to pray? The Gospel. The truth of the Gospel shatters my self-sufficient thinking and reminds me that I am nothing without Christ. I cannot come before Him on my good efforts. Hebrews 10:19 shares, "we have confidence to enter the holy place by the blood of Jesus." Do you want to learn to pray more? "Learn of your sin. Ask Him to show it to you, to give you a glimpse of your need. Ask Him to make you dependent on Him!"

As the Gospel shows me the reality of my sin, I can rest in the promise of Hebrews 10:21-22, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. "Only the Gospel will warm your affections so that you will long for an opportunity to be near Him. Let the Gospel motivate you to pray." Our High Priest is also our waiting Bridegroom. He has done the work of cleaning our hearts, so that we can with full assurance draw near to Him.

As the day's reading conclude with the admonition to draw near, Elyse ended the day with these words, "Run, now, to the lover of your soul." My mind was immediately drawn to one of my favorite super old hymns is Jesus, Lover of My Soul. My mom used to sing it to me, but I recently heard it again. I think it just fits with the truths of today's reading. I thought I would just share a few of the verses, but the entire hymn is so beautiful, so you get to read all of it. The last two verses are my favorites.

Jesus, lover of my soul, let me to Thy bosom fly,
While the nearer waters roll, while the tempest still is high.
Hide me, O my Savior, hide, till the storm of life is past;
Safe into the haven guide; O receive my soul at last.

Other refuge have I none, hangs my helpless soul on Thee;
Leave, ah! leave me not alone, still support and comfort me.
All my trust on Thee is stayed, all my help from Thee I bring;
Cover my defenseless head with the shadow of Thy wing.

Wilt Thou not regard my call? Wilt Thou not accept my prayer?
Lo! I sink, I faint, I fall—Lo! on Thee I cast my care;
Reach me out Thy gracious hand! While I of Thy strength receive,
Hoping against hope I stand, dying, and behold, I live.

Thou, O Christ, art all I want, more than all in Thee I find;
Raise the fallen, cheer the faint, heal the sick, and lead the blind.
Just and holy is Thy Name, I am all unrighteousness;
False and full of sin I am; Thou art full of truth and grace.

Plenteous grace with Thee is found, grace to cover all my sin;
Let the healing streams abound; make and keep me pure within.
Thou of life the fountain art, freely let me take of Thee;
Spring Thou up within my heart; rise to all eternity.

Comforts from the Cross - Day 28

2011-02-07T19:30:00.001-06:00

Today, I am sharing the entire day's reading. It was too hard to try to pick and choose parts of it. It is long compared to my normal blogs, but so worth the read.

Passed Over

On that day there shall be a fountain opened for the house of David and the inhabitants of Jerusalem, to cleanse them from sin and uncleanness. -Zechariah 13:1

Today is just like every other day. Yes, there is some commotion in the temple. Yes, there is to be an execution. But, after all, this Jerusalem; those Romans aren't squeamish about punishing us Jews. Yet our religious leaders aren't the sort of people who let things get out of hand, especially not now, with a city so full of Passover pilgrims. yes, this is just another day in just another city under Rome's harsh rule. Just another day, remembering our slavery in Egypt and straining to be free from our slavery to Rome. Just another day...

As we progress through our Passover celebrations, we recall the prophecies. But will Messiah come? Will a deliverer rescue us as Moses did so many thousands of years before? We eat the Seder meal. The youngest child asks the question, "Why is this day different from any other day?" and the rote answers are recited. This is the day we remember our deliverance from slavery. These are the days we let hope live again. But is this Passover somehow different?

Yes, we are prepared. We've chosen a young lamb for our celebration one without blemish, three years old. We've slaughtered it, drained its blood, and painted our doorposts. We are careful not to break one bone. We will eat the meal, the lamb, the unleavened bread, the sweet wine. We will sing together, dip our bread in bitter herbs, remember our slavery, rejoice because death passed over us and struck down our enemies' beloved sons. Our tradition is beautiful; it brings us hope.

He has walked through our towns for three years. He has touched lepers, invited children to crawl up into his lap. He has invited us to come to him, and we would have, but there was that shocking saying, "You must eat my flesh and drink my blood." Our leaders warned us, "If you follow Him, we'll put you out of the temple." His followers were untaught fishermen and tax collectors. Surely the true Messiah wouldn't associate with such as these We thought perhaps He was the One, but no. He is just another religious zealot in a long line of religious zealots. And now He is going to die. Oh, well. Neither we nor the Romans could have someone going around claiming to be God, claiming to be King.

But on this day, in the heart of Jerusalem's power, Pilate's jaded conscience is strangely trouble. "I find no guilt in him" (John 18:38).

"If you release this man, you are not Caesar's friend" (John 19:12).

"What have you done, Jesus? Answer me! Don't you know I have authority to punish you?"

"You would have no authority over me at all unless it had been given you from above" (John 19:11).

Yet even more troubled, Pilate sought to relieve his own distressed conscience. "When Pilate saw that he was gaining nothing, but rather that a riot was beginning, he took water and washed his hands before the the crowd, saying, 'I am innocent of this man's blood; see to it yourselves.' And all the people answered, 'His blood be on us and on our children!'" (Matthew 27:24-25)

Now, in the streets, they thrust the tree upon Him. He stumbles. "You don't think we're going to carry your cross for you, do you?" the soldiers mock. "This is your execution. Not ours."

"Let someone else carry it for Him. We don't want Him to break a bone before He climbs up The Skull."

Now on the hill. "Look at Him. Hanging there, naked; a mockery. The 'I Am'? Hardly. If you're God, then come down here and prove it. Be careful not to get too near. We don't want to be defiled for the celebration."

"Here, dip this rag in bitter wine for Him."

The guards receive a command, "Kill the prisoners now. These superstitious dogs don't want their land defiled by letting them hang here overnight."

"This one seems to be dead already. I will make sure."

"One of the soldiers pierced His side with a spear, and at once there came out blood and water" (John 19:34).

"The beloved Lamb is beaten, mocked, cursed, pierced. how does His Father respond?"

"I will pour out on the house of David and the inhabitants of Jerusalem a spirit of grace and please for mercy, so that, when they look on me, on him whom they have pierced, they shall mourn." (Zechariah 12:10)

Our sins call for unimaginable wrath and fury. We're religious; we delight in our traditions. We love feeling chosen, righteous, separate from Gentile scum. Yes, pass the bread, answer the questions, remember the deliverer, feel good. But we're also Roman oppressors. We, too, relish opportunities to mock the weak and scorn sufferers. We gleefully watch as this man Jesus stumbles down the street. We would have enjoyed taking a crack at Him, too.

Our sins call for unimaginable wrath and fury. How does He respond? Will he pour out wrath? No, He pours out a spirit of grace and mercy. Grace and mercy for us all--for Jew and Gentile--to repent. "Why is this day different from any other day?" Because we have seen our sin and been given grace to repent.

On this day, this marvelously different day, God applies the blood to the doorpost of our soul. This precious blood springs from the found in His Son's bleeding side. Again He sees blood. Again He passes over His chosen ones.

We haven't prepared for this. Our souls are full of self-righteousness, our hearts infected with leaven; our consciences have grown callous. We aren't really looking, waiting, hoping for our Deliverer. We're simply enjoying our tradition, living each day as it comes to us.

On that day there shall be a fountain opened for the house of David and the inhabitants of Jerusalem, to cleanse them from sin and uncleaness. (Zechariah 13:1)

On this day in Jerusalem a fountain has been opened for Jew and Gentile alike. It flows and flows, on and on, from His pierced side and covers all our sin. It covers our religious sin. It covers our irreligious sin. In one stroke, the Father has opened this fountain and with it He washes away all our sin and uncleaness. Our souls are cleansed by this water, atoned for by this blood. He opens a fountain that will never run dry; this well is sufficient for us all. We have pierced Him. He has taken that blood and water and made us His own.

Dear friend, the day you are facing may seem like any other day: uneventful, business as usual, nothing to celebrate. But ask yourself, what makes this day different from any other day? Then look on Him whom we have pierced and remember, there is a fountain opened to cleanse you from all your sin and uncleanness. "For Christ, our Passover Lamb, has been sacrificed. Let us therefore celebrate" (1 Corinthians 5:7-8) Yes, let us celebrate this day that is different from every other day. Let us celebrate Christ, our Passover Lamb, today.

(Comforts from the Cross, Elyse Fitzpatrick, Day 28, Passed Over, pp. 123-126)

Comforts from the Cross - Day 27

2011-02-06T22:22:00.000-06:00

Controlled by Love

The love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died. -2 Corinthians 5:14

"The Christian life is a war. We are called to battle the world's deceptions, our own sinful desires, and our enemy's treachery." For some, we feel like we have battled for years, others have been battling a short time. The reality is that it is hard to admit that we have experienced failures and are not the people we have been trying to be. In fact, this reality humiliates my prideful self. "It is easy to say that we are fighting this war for God." Is that really truth? Elyse writes about two different thoughts concerning this war, "If we are self-righteous, demanding, proud, or critical of others' failures when we succeed, then we are not fighting this war out of love for God." The truth of that is that I am participating in this war for the glory of myself. "On the other hand, if we're self-condemning, unbelieving, and angry with ourselves when we fail, then we're fighting because we long to approve of ourselves, and we despair when we can't."

If you visited a bookstore (Christian or secular), you would encounter lots of self-help books. Christians want to change, people in our world want to change. Most of these things don't seem so bad. Who doesn't want to be healthy, overcome addictions, be more organized, etc? Here's the problem, "self-improvement isn't a Christian construct; death and resurrection are." Wow! Check out 2 Corinthians 5:14-15, "For the love of Christ controls us; because we have concluded this; that One has died for all, therefore all have died; and He died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for Him who for their sake died and was raised." The Bible says that all are dead, you know what dead people do? Nothing. This shows our need for resurrection. Another self-help book is not the solution. Resurrection is. "When He died, He died for us. When He was raised, we were raised with Him." So, actually, you are not having to war on your own. "We will not be able to fight victoriously against our sins unless we fight under the the banner of the Gospel and thereby detach ourselves from our hedonistic plans self-improvement." Verse 15 says that we live for Him!

Think about your self-improvement efforts; they are meaningless apart from the love of Christ. The love of Christ compels, controls, motivates us! My effort to try to make myself better must be met with the truth that God is Who He says He is and the work that He has done. "Our longing to approve of ourselves becomes absurd when we survey the cross, our deserved end, and our undeserved resurrection. Look at the great love poured out there. Live in that love and war on." Well said.

Comforts from the Cross - Day 26

2011-02-05T11:16:00.000-06:00

I skipped Friday. I read the words on rest and decided to actually practice it. Turns out I had a most restful day. Without further ado...

Rest

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. -Matthew 11:28-29

God has always promised rest to His children. The Father even showed us an example of rest after he completed Creation and in telling His people to take a day of rest in Exodus. Hebrews 3:7-19 shows how the Israelities actually missed out on the rest that God promised. In Exodus 33:14, "My presence with go with you, and I will give you rest." "The good news, these Gospel words, were preached to them for hundreds of years, but it did not profit them because most of them just couldn't believe that God was that good, that loving, that powerful. They just wouldn't rest in Him, in the work He had done, and the work He would do."

The same good news is available to us today. Do we trust in the promises of God's Word? If God says it, do I truly believe that He will do it? Remember when God finished Creation, He looked over it and described it as "very good." Then the next verse tells of the seventh day when He rested. Hebrews 4:10 says this, "for whoever has entered God's rest has also rested from his works as God did from His." What is the Bible telling us to do in this verse? "Sit back, survey His wonder---His power, His grace, His mercy, His kindness, His love---and then glory in it. Rest in Him." The Bible doesn't stop in verse 10 though, Hebrews 4:11 gives us an admonition, "Let us therefore strive to enter that rest, so that no one may fall by the same sort of disobedience." The Bible says that when we don't rest we disobey? Disobedience really comes into play when we experience fear, rebellion, self-indulgence, anger, or self-pity as an act of unbelief in the goodness of God and His work.

Remember the verses in Matthew 11:28-30, our need and desire for rest isn't met on our own merit, but when we respond to the invitation of the Savior to rest in Him. Just like our salvation, our rest is not dependent on what we do, but on the work of Christ. His invitation is, "Come to me... and I will give you rest." Today, I rejoice that God grants true rest. It is a Saturday, so be intentional about taking some time to rest in the Lord. Respond to His invitation to come to Him, the Word tells us to strive to enter that rest. And when you rest in Him, survey the wonder that can be found in Him alone. I promise it will delight your heart!

Comforts from the Cross - Day 25

2011-02-03T20:50:00.001-06:00

Hope of Glory

Great indeed, we confess, is the mystery of godliness... 1 Timothy 3:16

Not much can be said tonight, besides my desire for you to read this whole verse, to look at it over and over again. Creeds were an important part of early Christianity and church history. This is like a creed, but even better, it is Scripture.

Great indeed, we confess, is the mystery of godliness:
   He was manifested in the flesh,
       vindicated by the Spirit,
   seen by angels,
   proclaimed among the nations,
       believed on in the world,
   taken up in glory.

One beautiful verse shows the incarnation, resurrection, and ascension of Christ. A thought that Elyse writes for today. "The gospel shatters our glory-seeking and self-confidence and tells us that the godliness that pleases the Father is a mystery. Our only hope of glory is the Gospel. The incarnated, resurrected, and ascended Son of God, the Christ, lives in us. Christ is in us, and because He is, His godliness (the only godliness there is) is ours. This mysterious truth is the sweetest, most liberating truth you will ever know. Christ is in you; He's your hope of glory (Colossians 1:27)."

Comforts from the Cross - Day 24

2011-02-02T21:41:00.000-06:00

Safe in His Care

Then Jesus, knowing all that would happen to Him, came forward and said to them, "Whom do you seek." -John 18:4

Remember, the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden right after they sinned. The Bible says in Genesis 3 that they hid themselves. It was almost like the game we play now of hide-and-seek, except they were trying to hide from the God of the universe (not possible.) Much like Adam and Eve, we still like to hide. We try to hide from ourselves, from God, for uncomfortable situations, you name it; someone has probably tried to hide from it.

Today's reading needs more than just one verse, so start here in John 18:1-11. Verse 4 is the key verse for today, and shows that He came forward to His attackers. When Jesus presented Himself to these religious leaders and Judas, they drew back and fell to the ground. Then Jesus handed Himself over to these as the One who they were seeking and asked that the others be let go. Here we see our Good Shepherd. I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. (John 10:11) Why would He do such a thing for those who would deny and betray who He is? Love. Love was and always has been the motivation. We are unworthy, yet, the life of our Lord Jesus says, "Take me. Let them go." "This has been His theme throughout all eternity, 'Take me. Punish me. Let them go.'"

If I believed Jesus was who He says He is, would I hide from Him? In the Gospels, we see how He loved those who were His. Do you grasp the magnitude of what He did? "He interposed His precious blood between the righteous wrath of His Father and His sinful bride! What a Savior!" We do not need to follow the example of Adam and Eve and hide, but the Savior invites us to draw near. As I have been considering the Good Shepherd and His care for His sheep, my mind quickly went to Colossians 1:17b, "in Him all things hold together." I can draw near to the Savior because of what He did and because of who He is. Today, I rejoice that God's Word reminds me that He holds all things together, He knows, we cannot hide from Him, and I can find comfort that I am safe with the Good Shepherd.

My family used to listen to Elisabeth Elliot on the radio when I was younger, she is one of my missionary heroes. She always ended her radio program with Deuteronomy 33:27, "The eternal God is your dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms..." As believers, we serve a big God, bigger than you and I can imagine. Find your dwelling place in Him!

Comforts from the Cross - Day 23

2011-02-01T21:33:00.002-06:00

His Appearing

Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved His appearing. -2 Timothy 4:8

A little over a month ago, we celebrated the first coming of Jesus to earth. As believers, the Christmas season is quite exciting, but we mostly celebrate a baby. A sweet baby Jesus born in a manger. He coming was meek and lowly, it probably wouldn't make the evening news in our world today. Here's a question that Elyse pondered in today's reading, "Because of how Jesus came to earth the first time, do people think He will come again the same way?"

My pastor preached on Revelation 19:11-21 this past Sunday night, so the message is fresh in my mind. Go check out the passage. I know the world did not expect a baby born in a manger the first time our Savior entered the world. I can only expect that the heavens being opened and a Rider on a white horse will take most of our world by surprise as well. "For some, His return will be a terrifying introduction into an even more horrifying eternity." The truth of Revelation 6:15-17 will come to pass, "Then the kings of the earth and the great ones and the generals and the rich and the powerful, and everyone, slave and free, hid themselves in the caves and among the rocks of the mountains, calling to the mountains and rocks, Fall on us and hide us from the face of him who is seated on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb, for the great day of their wrath has come, and who can stand?” "Smug unbelief would be instantaneously transformed into terrifying understanding."

What would be your response? How should a believer respond as we think about this? (I personally believe the church will have been raptured before this time, but this is not about my eschatology.) Think about those who experience the Rider on the white horse, they won't love His appearing; they will hate it. The Bible tells me that I will love His appearing. Why? Because of the Gospel of grace. Over and over again, the Bible tells me how God has given me His righteousness. He replaced my sinfulness with His righteousness. Trusting in His righteousness comes by faith alone, faith that God grants! Are you trusting in that today? I rejoice that I will love His appearing because of what He did. I end today with one of my favorite "non-Scripture paragraphs" that is deep with the truths from Scripture. It sums up what I have seen as I have read in Comforts from the Cross. The words are quite beautiful...

"He himself took on Him the burden of our iniquities, He gave His own Son as a ransom for us, the holy One for transgressors, the blameless One for the wicked, the righteous One for the unrighteous, the incorruptible One for the corruptible, the immortal One for them that are mortal. For what other thing was capable of covering our sins than His righteousness? By what other one was it possible that we, the wicked and ungodly, could be justified, than by the only Son of God? O sweet exchange! O unsearchable operation! O benefits surpassing all expectation! that the wickedness of many should be hid in a single righteous One, and that the righteousness of One should justify many transgressors!"
From The Letter to Diognetus, chapter 9.
O Sweet Exchange- my wickedness for a Crown of Righteousness!

Comforts from the Cross - Day 22

2011-01-31T19:57:00.000-06:00

Side note: Yesterday, I had labeled it as Day 20 again instead of Day 21. My mistake. I fixed it. Not even close to perfect, and I think I am ok with that. On with today...

The Hope of Righteousness

Through the Spirit, by faith, we ourselves eagerly wait for the hope of righteousness. -Galatians 5:5

We all hope in or wait for something. As a little kid, you probably hoped for Christmas, your birthday, or to be a teenager. As a teenager, we wait for High School and then College. After College, we hope/wait for marriage or the perfect job. Then we wait for kids, grandkids, and retirement. In Galatians 5:5, Paul was waiting for something greater than what we normally place our hopes in on this earth. I like it that Paul shows that he is like us in that he is waiting for "the hope of righteousness." Before we continue, let's remember an important fact about Galatians, Paul was showing the Galatian church that keeping the law is Not the means for obtaining a right standing with God. "No, hope for true righteousness is 'through the Spirit, by faith.' Paul is reminding us that the only hope of righteousness is through the power of the Spirit, who grants the faith in our hearts."

Why do we need to hope in righteousness? When I survey my life, I often find the idea that I will be righteous quite hard to believe. Sin is prevalent in my life. It is easy to recognize the grief that is caused by my prideful and selfish heart. "It is only as we meditate upon the Gospel's promise that the Spirit creates faith within our hearts." So, we wait, much like a kid on Christmas morning, but with a greater anticipating of what of us to come. While we are waiting, Elyse encourages with theses words,"we must not give up in despair or seek to anesthetize our conscience with the shallow delights of the world. Even when our hearts wander, the Father's promise of true righteousness and holiness stands."

Today, I rejoice that God grants the faith to hope for His righteousness. It makes me ever mindful of my sin here on this earth and makes the Gospel even grander and greater. "What is your hope of righteousness? Only that this righteousness doesn't depend on you at all, but has been granted to you as a gift through the Gospel."

Sneak peek for tomorrow: The Crown of Righteousness. Our hope becomes our reality, our reward. "Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing." 2 Timothy 4:8.

Comforts from the Cross - Day 21

2011-01-30T14:42:00.001-06:00

We have seen and testify that the Father has sent His Son to be the Savior of the world. -1 John 4:14

"We are continually saying good-bye to those we love." Whether we recognize it or not, we leave or lose people, places, and possession all the time. Life is a series of good-byes to different things. However, the greatest goodbye is death. "It separates from those we love, and the more we love, the greater our grief. Aside from the mitigating comforts of the Gospel, the level of grief we experience when we're separated from our loved ones is analogous to the level of attachment we have toward them. In the Bible, we see times when people grieve. Jesus showed his compassion for those who grieve when He wept over Lazarus.

No earthly grief can be compared to the Heavenly Father sending His Son to earth. John recognized this in 1 John 4:14. He was an earthly eyewitness of Jesus on this earth. The Father, Son, and Spirit enjoyed this perfect relationship in Heaven, but because of His great love the Father would send His Son to earth. "We cannot image what our sin cost Him. We cannot imagine the depth of a love that would sacrifice such joy for the good of another." Then come my favorite words in the day's reading, "We should be astounded by the incarnation." Wow. How often do I rejoice in the incarnation? The Son left the glories of Heaven in order to redeem a people who had rejected and sinned against Him. I challenge you to consider and rejoice in the incarnation. This truth blows my mind.

The incarnation was not the greatest point of separation for the Father and Son, but direct your thoughts to the cross. While suffering death on the cross, Jesus would utter the words, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" (Mark 15:34) "On the cross, the Father would forsake the Son and pour out all His wrath upon Him. The Bible tells of the death of Christ in Isaiah 53, that it was "the will of the Lord to crush him." Jesus suffered separation from the Father and the wrath we deserved, all at the will of His Father.

Jesus knows. He has experienced what we have experienced as people here on earth, yet without sin. "Your Savior wants you to know that He's walked this path ahead of you." The loneliness, separation, and grief that we experience are not unknown to Him. Today, I rejoice that the Savior knows and understands. I rejoice even more that His redemption offered us hope beyond the good-byes of this world. In John 17, Jesus prayed that we would be where He is. He promised that He was going to prepare a place and would not leave us as orphans. Because of the work of our Savior on the cross and even now, we can rest in hope of a future with Him. As a believer, the separation and loneliness we may experience is only for a short time. Find comfort in the cross and the truth of the Gospel today!

Comforts from the Cross - Day 20

2011-01-29T13:04:00.000-06:00

Abide in the Vine

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. - John 15:9

If you have attended church very long, you probably have heard a sermon on John 15 about "Abiding in the Vine." It is a fantastic passage of Scripture and Jesus lays out a complicated truth through an interesting word picture. Most of the sermons I have heard on this passage can normally be outlined like this:

Jesus is the Vine,
The Father is the Vinedresser,
It is your responsibility to abide, and
This is how you abide.

(If I have heard you preach on this message in the past, I apologize for not listening well.)

In the past, I have been quick to run past the Vine and the Vinedresser. "I overlook the truth that it's His power that births and sustains the entire plant. He's supplying all that's necessary for my growth and fruitfulness. It's His life, His purpose, His determination to be in union with me that's the central point of this teaching." When I am abiding in the vine, the Vine is producing fruit in me. It is not me relying on myself, but allowing the Vine to produce fruit in me and through me. God has the ability to transform, while my self-driven efforts will never produce fruit.

Instead of rejoicing in the work of the Vinedresser, I easily become the "comparing Christian" and wonder why God is "pruning him or her" or ask why I am not bearing fruit like that other person? It is also easy to become a little judgemental and say God should just cut him or her off of the vine, they are not bearing any fruit. It is like I want the role of the Vinedresser and choose who should be connected to the Vine. In the past, I have completely missed the point. God would prune me in order that I may bear more fruit for His glory. Jesus is the Vine to which I am attached and He is my life-sustainer.

When we get to the point of trusting in the work of the Vine and the Vinedresser, we can rest in the promise of verse 9. Jesus is telling us how the Father loves Him and in turn, Jesus loves us the same way. Jesus is calling us to continue in this personal love relationship with Him. "Yes, He is calling us to a life of obedience, but it isn't an obedience that starts with our great efforts. It is an obedience that He has planted and now lovingly tends as we absorb His soul-nourishing life." Today, I rejoice that He causes my obedience to grow. I challenge myself as I challenge you today - "Rest here. Endure here. Remain here. Tarry here. Abide in the Vine."

Comforts from the Cross - Day 19

2011-01-27T16:47:00.000-06:00

The World Overcome

In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. -John 16:33

Imagine 12 guys following Jesus around for a few years. They had given up all they had to follow Him. It has been a great week. They marched into Jerusalem to shout of "Hosanna! Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord." (John 12:13). Surely, this is what they had expected. Finally, the Messiah would receive His coronation. Imagine their surprise as they sat in a room eating a Passover meal together and Jesus began to speak of leaving them, that someone would deny Him, and they would experience sorrow when He left. Would you be confused? If I had been one of the twelve, I know I would have. They had followed Him and Jesus was saying to them, "Where I am going you cannot follow Me." (John 13:36). How strange for Jesus to speak those words!

"We are so frequently misguided about God's plans. Day by day we measure our progress toward anticipated goals; we judge God's faithful and our performance by the proximity of the desired accomplishment." There are days when we are probably like the twelve disciples, "Um, Jesus, this isn't exactly what I signed up for... I didn't plan on this happening." Unfortunately, this leads us to doubt and a big question I often hear, "Is God really good?" What words did Jesus tell His disciples, "I have said these things to you, that in Me you may have pace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." This is where the confusion comes in, did I really think I would overcome the world? Maybe, I had plans for it.

This is actually where I see the beauty of the Gospel. "It dispels darkness and confusion. It tells me about Him, about myself. It tells me that I am in Him, and because that's my identity, I can have peace when peace is beyond comprehension." My selfish ambition is quickly replaced with His work. The goal is not for me to overcome, but to see His kingdom advance. The goal is not for me to be gloried, but for Him to glorify Himself. "His plans confound the wisdom of the wisest man. I deceive myself into believing that I am better than this and deserve better than this. He gently reminds me that I deserve an eternity of excruciating flame eating at my soul and separation from His Son." It reminds me who has overcome, not me, but Jesus. Jesus has overcome the world. Did you get that? Did you believe it?

Unlike the disciples thinking, "Jesus resisted the temptation to prove his rightful place as the Lord of the universe." Instead, He came and fulfilled the Law and prophecies, and willingly laid down His life in our place. He overcame the world by defeating our final enemy, death. "The resurrection speaks powerfully into our lives when it seems as though the light is about to be extinguished." So, what happens when things don't turn out like you planned? Is God really good? Yes, Jesus is far greater than you can imagine and He has overcome the world. Now, He is seated at the right hand of God ruling over all the earth. He is the all-powerful God!

Today, I rejoice that He has overcome the world and brings real peace. You are going to encounter tribulations, but Jesus promises peace! "Peace begins to fill my soul when I remember the truth of the Gospel: I am more sinful and flawed than I ever dared believe, more loved and welcomed than I ever dared hope. I deserve less than nothing, but have been given everything."

Comforts from the Cross - Day 18

2011-01-26T21:33:00.001-06:00

A Broken Heart

Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit. -Psalm 51:12

"There are some days when, by His good grace, God deeply strikes my heart and shows me my sin. When God awakens me to it, it's easy for me to despair, to believe that I'm not changed, that I'll never change, to run." How often I am reminded of the Lord's love for me, but often my sin is quite ugly. As I read through Psalm 51 for today's devotional, I was reminded of a time when sin broke my heart and I needed restoration that only God could provide. Elyse shares parts of her story in today's reading, but I realized that those whose sin has been cleansed, all have one of those times (or maybe many of those times). I'm going to share a little of one of mine. I asked permission of the person I sinned against, my little brother. Still thankful to this day that it it is now a vague memory in his mind.

Little bro was in high school, and I thought I was the smartest college student ever. I was home for the weekend and saw some "behavior" in him that I didn't think was the greatest. Being the fantastic person that I was, I decided that God was going to use me to show him the errors of his way. (Every read Matthew 7:1-5? I had the plank...) I met him outside of our house as he was coming home from a date with his girlfriend. I think I had stored up all the meanest words I could think of to lash out at him. It was a verbal assault of the worst kind and ended horribly. I went to bed that night with so much anger and disgust at my little brother for not seeing what I thought were some huge problems in his life. The next day, Sunday, God would use part of David's story in 2 Samuel 12:1-15 to show me that it was actually me who had sinned against God and my brother with my actions. God broke my heart that morning and in the middle of Sunday School, I began to seek repentance.

Elyse wrote these words that I so easily relate to, "Yes, God is good, but I knew I hadn't been, and thinking about my sin felt too humbling." David responded to his sin and guilt in a much better way than I handle mine. If you haven't read Psalm 51 yet, read it now. Stop and dwell on his prayer of repentance. The reading today points out just a few thoughts about David that should be characteristic of our repentance.

He recognized the poverty of His soul. (verses 3-5)
He pleaded for cleansing and covering. (verses 7-12)
Because of what the Lord had done, He desired to worship. (verses 14-17)

There are more truths that I could point out from this passage and from what I read today, but these especially convicted my heart. Often, I struggle with thinking of how to respond in worship when I recognize that after repentance, my heart should want to praise. It doesn't naturally do that. More often I see this idea, "my zeal in worship is mainly predicated on my approval of myself." What the Lord has had to teach me through some tough times of repentance and restoration is that "He did not want my good record. Instead, he wanted brokenness and humility that would make me love Him more (and in my case, my little brother.) Outward sacrifice is easy; it appeals to my religious pride. God desires a heart that is broken by sin and humbled. O, the mercy of a God who will not scorn the sinner's broken heart."

Earlier today, I heard this song, The Endless Mercy of Our God, by Matt Boswell. Such a simple song, yet so true. As I think about my sin, I rejoice that His mercy is so much greater and that the joy of salvation can be restored through a heart of repentance.

Verse 1:

The endless mercy of God will ever

Be my ground secure

God unchanging will be my rock

Whom eternity assures

Chorus:

The endless mercy of our God, The endless mercy of our God

Forevermore shall endure, the endless mercy of our God

Verse 2:

The endless mercy of God displayed

Upon the cross so vile

The wrath of God there satisfied

And man be reconciled

Verse 3:

The endless mercy of God

The Holy Spirit hath he sealed

And written there in ink that ne’er shall

Fade nor be concealed

Comforts from the Cross - Day 17

2011-01-25T20:08:00.000-06:00

Freedom

For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to the yoke of slavery. -Galatians 5:1

I love the book of Galatians. I don't have too much to say about today's reading, but I'm going to suggest you watch this on the book of Galatians. (Josh Moody's accent provides an interesting 12 minutes along with the content.)

Elyse uses the idea of war to show some truths from the book of Galatians. "We not only battle slavery against sin, but also battle against slavery to the law." The Galatian church seemed to have this problem. Paul takes the "spiritual father" role here and tells them again that works is not necessary for justification. This is one of those points where I would probably quickly jump to a conclusion and think this is not a problem today. However, the truth is that it is a problem today.

"Works-righteousness will enslave us, similar to more obvious sins, but it's far more dangerous because it appeals to our religious pride." "Religious pride" is an idea that gets to me. Why? Because I have it in my life. I like to compare my "good works" to those around me and think that I am helping God out by all the good "Christian" things that I do. Satan is a fan of this religious pride, because ultimately it dishonors Christ and the work of Christ. The solution for religious pride is found a few verses later in Galatians 5:16, "But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh." So many desires of the flesh, including religious pride, pull us and enslave us. Instead freedom in Christ awaits when I am willing to be Spirit-led, not me-led. "The one possibility that Satan dreads is that we might discover the priceless freedom Christ purchased for us."

Today, I rejoice in the freedom that comes from the work of Christ and am thankful for the work of the Spirit that provides the motive and power to obey. My obedience then comes not from trying to follow after the law, but genuine love for the Savior. His love set me free from the slavery of sin. I cannot help but think of the words of Jesus in John 8:36, "So, if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." Freedom because of the Son and works-righteousness not required.

Comforts from the Cross - Day 16

2011-01-24T19:17:00.000-06:00

See Him!

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know Him. -1 John 3:1

Elyse begins today with Forrest Gump reference. Forrest is looking at his Jenny and says these words, "I may not be a smart man, Jenny, but I know what love is." Elyse says, "...in a way, he spoke for all of us. We all possess an innate awareness and understanding of love." Most people would be able to tell you of moments they experienced and felt loved for the first time. We know when we have been loved and times when we have felt unloved. We even know when we have failed to love someone as we should.

"The story of redemption is, in its purest form, a love story, but it's a love story unlike anything you could ever imagine." God's love is not like a hallmark card or a romantic movie. It goes deeper. It is richer. "It is love that is willing to afflict itself and its beloved for a greater good." From yesterday's story of Lazarus, Elyse describes the love of God as a "fierce love." This fierce love was described by John in these words, "See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God;" This is not the "courtesy love" when you get off the phone with someone or the "church love" that you speak to your brother and sister in Christ on the way out the door. Imagine the Apostle John in a public place (like a mall), you are walking and thinking that "God loves me," and you see him. John has a huge sign in attempt to get your attention, he is jumping and yelling... "This love is the important thing about you; it changes and will change everything!" Are you happy to continue in your little musing about God's love when you could be experiencing what John so excitedly proclaims?

Fierce love left the splendor of Heaven to take on the form of baby in manger and experience the life of a man here on earth, yet without sin. Fierce love became a man who "poured out of every drop of an eternal hell's worth of wrath upon the bloodied head of its delight, and cried, 'Father, why have you forsaken me?'" The goal of this love was for you and me to be called Sons and Daughters of God. "All this pain and grief is bent on one primary goal: your adoption and His eternal praise." Because of this love, you can have a Heavenly Father.

John continues in 1 John 3:2-3, "Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when He appears we shall be like Him, because we shall see Him as He is. And everyone who thus hopes in Him purifies himself as He is pure." Believers don't just experience this fierce, adopting love, but we have this incredible hope of being changed into something glorious. John ends verse three by saying "everyone who thus hopes in Him purifies himself as He is pure." "So much of our lives as Christians is spent in futile doubt, weak questionings, and apathetic, self-serving strategies. In part, we fail in our war for purity because we spend too much time meditating on ourselves, our work, and our growth." Our hope is often in ourselves when the verse tells us to hope in Him!

Today, I rejoice that His love bought adoption for me. I pray I never take that love lightly or get over the fierceness of it! Elyse gives a challenge in the last paragraph, "See Him! See what your adoption cost Him. Steep your soul His desire to have you for His own, and after you have done that, pursue the purity that is a mark of this fierce love."

I will wrap this up with a thought from my childhood, I used to sing a song when I was a kid that started like this, "God loves you, you know that it's true. The story gets better I read it in a letter..." My challenge for myself today is to read God's Word, His wonderful letter. It shows how much God loves and how to pursue purity. As I have grown up, the same story keeps getting better.

Comforts from the Cross - Day 15

2011-01-23T22:06:00.000-06:00

From Suffering to Glory

Jesus said to her, "Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God? - John 11:40

Sometimes, I have questions about suffering. I watched my Mom suffer from cancer for about a year and half. I had questions then and maybe some different ones now. When people suffer the question often asked is, "Why does God allow suffering?" Often, a short answer may be given that God allows suffering because of man's sin, but a closer look at Scripture might give a greater answer.

The passage for today is the story of Lazarus from John 11:1-44. I'm not going to give a paraphrase, because the Scripture does not need my help, but I do want to note a few interesting facts in the story. First note, Jesus heard that Lazarus was sick and delayed two days where He was. If He loved His friends, He should have come to their rescue right away, right? Elyse writes this, "It is obvious that Jesus' fierce love for His friends meant something different to Him than it does to us. What made Him wait?" The second thing to note is that after Lazarus had died and Jesus came to Lazarus' sisters, Martha had the answer. "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." (v. 21). "When we're facing the prospect of lifelong pain or the possibility of final separation from ones we love, it is easy to think that we know what would best glorify God - immediate deliverance from the problem." (Side note - verses 25-26 are some of my personal favorites as Jesus gives these precious promises.) Then the other sister, Mary, comes to Jesus and says the same thing as Martha. I think the story gets really good in verse 40 when Jesus speaks these words, "Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?" Like those sisters, we often think we have the answer during suffering and instead find out that "Jesus is more interested in our eternal cure than He is in our temporal relief."

The story of Lazarus is filled with the compassion of Christ and His love for people. He allows suffering, but not because of lack of love or compassion. Isaiah 53 in a prophetic proclamation presents Jesus as our Suffering Servant. He understood suffering better than you and I will ever be able to grasp. Those words don't necessarily bring comfort to the suffering that you may be experiencing today. However, this may be your opportunity to see the glory of God. I did not have a clue on that day in July of 2008 that from my Mom's suffering and death, that I would get a small glimpse of the glory of God. Does mean that I embrace and welcome suffering? Of course not, but I believe that as believers we have a unique opportunity to see the glory of God through suffering. Trust Him today that He is working in your suffering. He knows what will best glorify Him. "Somehow, in some way hidden to your weak eyes, your suffering is making a way for that to happen. You will see God's glory, you will begin to see Him as He is, and then you will start to understand."

Comforts from the Cross - Day 14

2011-01-22T20:39:00.000-06:00

Glory to God Alone

I am the LORD; that is my name; my glory I give to no other, nor my praise to carved idols. -Isaiah 42:8

Do you know the Heavenly Father's purpose for your life? It is actually the purpose for the world - to glorify the Son. Colossians 1:18 says "...in everything, He might be preeminent." The Father uses those of us on earth to accomplish His purpose. One of the best ways we do this is when "delight in the fact that salvation is completely of the Lord, and not at all of us. Our inability to save ourselves and our utter dependence upon His grace and power exalt Him rather than us."

As I read through this book and think about the truths of God's Word, I am seeing some things that I once believed to be true about me, are not really about me at all. Elyse brings this verse in a different light, "Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance." (Luke 15:7). This verse is often used when someone accepts Christ to express the joy that takes place in Heaven. Now, I can imagine that Heaven is a place of rejoicing, I would even venture to say it is continual rejoicing. I am sure Heaven rejoices when sinners repent. That was the verse says. However, I love the deeper truth that she pointed out, "every time one sinner repents, more praise and glory is brought to the Son. The King is being loved and glorified, and in that they rejoice."

Why have in the past I wanted to make Luke 15:7 be all about me? Whether I want to admit it or not, we are all what Paul Trip often refers to as "glory robbers." "We want a little of Christ's glory for ourselves. Jesus Christ is willing to share His righteousness with you, to impute to your record His perfect obedience. But His glory He will not share with anyone." When I attempt to rob Christ of the glory He and He only deserves, I am devaluing "His perfect work on the cross."

How do we change our glory robbing hearts into one that worships God and God alone? Humility is the answer. Humility that comes from the Holy Spirit working in our lives. He is the One who humbles our hearts and gives us the desire to worship the Only One who is worthy to be praised. Today would be great day to begin practicing for the worship of Heaven. Revelation 7:12 tells of some of the words that will be said, "Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne and to the Lamb!" It's all His! "His salvation is a great salvation, and He deserves to be greatly worshiped."

Comforts from the Cross - Day 13

2011-01-21T12:46:00.000-06:00

The Joy of Obedience

For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome. -1 John 5:3

Today, our focus and thoughts are drawn to the command of obedience once again. Elyse writes this to begin the day, "I'll admit that obedience is not easily adopted. I, too, have thought that a life of loving obedience would be delightful, that is, until I'm confronted with the choice of giving up something that, at that moment I love more." This verse in 1 John is actually different than how I would respond when facing moments of difficult obedience. When faced with a difficult trial and knowing that I should act in obedience to God's Word, I think the task or trial is quite burdensome. Maybe John had greater faith than I do, or maybe I need to practice joyful obedience and believe the truth of this verse! There is a beautiful example of joyful obedience in the Old Testament.

It is actually a really amazing love story between a guy named Jacob and a girl named Rachel. Jacob agreed to serve Rachel's dad, Laban, for seven years in exchange for Rachel's hand in marriage. From Jacob, we find out that the work was not an easy task, "by day the heat consumed me, and the cold by night, and my sleep fled from my eyes." (Genesis 31:40). However, the author of Genesis writes this about Jacob's serving, "So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he had for her." (Genesis 29:20). You may be familiar with the story and that he actually served fourteen years for Leah. How could those years seem only like a few days? He loved her, and because he loved her the work was not burdensome.

Somewhat like Jacob, but so much greater was the love-driven obedience of our Savior. This was envisaged in Psalm 40:8; "I delight to do your will, O my God." "Jesus' work to obtain His bride was actually a delight to Him because of the great love He had for her." He perfectly completed the work of His Father in order to purchase His bride. "The payment He earned was granted to us, proud self-righteous ones, who disdained Him. But he called it 'joy' because He loved. He gladly laid down His life for His bride."

We see an Old Testament example and our perfect example of Jesus showing us joyful obedience. I think we should be able to learn from these! My desire for today is that His commandments are not burdensome, but that I can joyfully learn to to obey! Like the words that were convicting yesterday, I obey because He loves. I joyfully obey because He loves.

Comforts from the Cross - Day 12

2011-01-20T20:31:00.000-06:00

Motivated by Love

If you love me, you will keep my commandments. -John 14:13

Everyone can probably relate to this situation as a child. A chore or task needed to be done and your mom said something like, "Come on child, don't you love your mother? Please do what I have asked." What motivated the obedience? Guilt. So, our thinking goes into something like this, "I don't want my mom to think I don't love her, so I will do this." Elyse writes, "Guilt is the gift that keeps on giving." Was your mom wrong to ask you to obey, definitely not, but obedience should not be motivated by guilt. It should be motivated by love.

"It is true that the object of our love can always be detected in our behavior." How does this apply to my love for Christ? "If love for God is not present in our heart, then Godward obedience will be absent in our life." Elyse wrote a statement that made me laugh, "Your Savior isn't like your mother." He does not think of motivating you by guilt. This is one of those moments where I am amazed at how God knows us. Because He is not just our Savior, but also our Creator, He knows. "He knows our desires to obey and our shame and sadness because of our failures. But he also knows that as our love for Him grows, our obedience will grow, too."

The key to obedience is not more self-driven effort, but a focus on Christ. The Bible says in 1 John 4:19, "We love Him because He first loved us." How do I cultivate loving Him? "I intently focus on His love for me more than my love for Him, more on His obedience than mine, more on His faithfulness than mine, more on His strength then mine." My mind is unable to grasp the greatness of His love, but as I see glimpses of it, I am motivated to obey. "God's love changes people. It makes obedience attractive."

We can talk a lot about God's love, but Satan is still at work and tempts us to doubt God's love. Our sin at times can skew our view of God's great love for us and our actions produce disobedience. "But our Redeemer doesn't leave us there. He patiently and gently draws us back... His love is fervent, eternal, uncompromising." Today, I challenge you along with myself to rest in His love. "Confront your own sinfulness, yes, but only after you've remembered His love for you. Then love Him and obey."

Comforts from the Cross - Day 11

2011-01-19T21:33:00.000-06:00

Perfected for All Time

For by a single offering He has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified. -Hebrews 10:14

"I have to admit that it's pretty difficult for me to read words such as 'perfected for all time' and have the faith to apply them to myself." If I stopped and took a look at my day or even the last hour or so, I could share with you some not-so-perfect moments.

Let's take a short look at the Hebrews, the people who this book was being written to. They were more than familiar with the Jewish temples system, their customs, and laws. I am sure they thought of sacrifices often, since it was required that certain sacrifices atone for certain sins. The Hebrews also knew that sacrifices were just a temporary covering for sin, it did not remove it. They realized that God's standard was perfection and sacrifice was the only way to atone for their failures. Can you imagine the early believers reading Hebrews 10:14 and wondering how that would be possible? The lived and died according to a religious system, and then came these words, "And every priest stands daily at his service, offering repeatedly the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins. But when Christ has offered for all time a single sacrifice for sins, He sat sat down at the right hand of God... For by a single offering He has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified." (Hebrews 10:11-12, 14)

For the Hebrews, these verses meant freedom from the rigorous religious laws and infinite acceptance before a Holy God. Are theses verses as important today as they were then? Yes, but we may have a harder time accepting this truth. The Old Testament and early New Testament believers seemed to be a little better at recognizing and confessing sin. They had to offer a sacrifice for the forgiveness of it. Sacrifices don't really mean much today. I clump all my sins of today together and don't really think about how I would need to atone for them, or do I? Maybe, I think that I can do something better tomorrow to make up for my failures of today.

The truth for the early believers is still the same truth today and one that must be said over and over until my faith and life are reflective of it. "Jesus Christ offered one sacrifice for sin and in doing so He absolutely perfected that who are (still) being changed or sanctified." I find great comfort in the fact that Jesus knows that I will fail each day, yet, He chose to perfect me for all time. I like how Elyse ends the day with these words, "When we spend our days in the endless pursuit of self-improvement, we are in essence, devaluing the blood of Jesus Christ, the perfect man who is also God."

My challenge and thought for today is a simple reminder for my own life - stop making excuses for sin and trust in the blood of the Savior that has perfected for all time those being sanctified! I rejoice in that the cross was the greatest price that could have ever been paid and because of the Savior's work, I find value and worth in the cross alone.

Today, I heard an old hymn... one of the verses has ran over and over in my head...
He breaks the power of canceled sin,
He sets the prisoner free;
His blood can make the foulest clean,
His blood availed for me.

His blood availed in that it perfected for all time those being sanctified!

Comforts from the Cross - Day 10

2011-01-18T17:14:00.004-06:00

Not Good Enough

I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousnesswere through the law, then Christ died for no purpose. -Galatians 2:21

Today begins with a familiar Old Testament scene. God made a covenant with His chosen people the Israelites, and used His servant Moses to deliver the message. "You yourselves have seen what I did to the Egyptians, and how I have bore you on eagles' wings and brought you to myself. Now therefore, if you will indeed obey my voice and keep my covenant, you shall be my treasured possession among all peoples, for all the earth is mine; and you shall be to me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation." Exodus 19:4-6. God declared His intention to the Israelites in these verses and put a simple qualification of obeying His voice and keeping His covenant. A few verses later, the Israelites responded with the words, "All that the Lord has spoken we will do."

If you remember the Israelites of the Old Testament, you will recall that they did not do all that the Lord had spoken. One of their most famous blunders was recorded when Moses was actually on mountain getting the Law from God. They thought a god was needed to protect them in the wilderness, so they made a golden calf, who would be "a god to go before them." (Exodus 32:1) They still worshiped the True God, but thought they needed more. "They wanted Him, but they wanted their idols too." Moses and Aaron, their leaders, even had stories of when they failed to keep the law. This leads us to an important question, "Is it reasonable to assume that we'll be able to enter into God's covenant blessings by our works?"

Paul answered this question in his letter to the Galatian church, "yet we know that a person is not justified by works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ, so we also have believed in Christ Jesus, in order to be justified by faith in Christ and not by works of the law, because by works of the law no one will be justified. I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose." Galatians 2:16, 21 The believers in Galatia had made the same mistake as the Israelites, they thought they maybe adding obedience to the law as if the work of Christ was not enough. "They too had been deceived into thinking they they needed a bit of faith in themselves too. They didn't think they were deserting the Lord; they were just adding to their faith a touch of law keeping; a little proud self-righteousness." I like Paul's words here, he didn't sugar coat them or tell them how they could do better. He spoke truth that at times doesn't always process with our actions. "By works of the law no one will be justified."

"You see, He's gotten His chosen race, His royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession" (1 Peter 2:9) by His Son's work." He has claimed believers as His own, so we do not nullify the grace of God by trying to obey the law. We simply live and rejoice in grace. You have received the righteous record of the Son of God. God does not call us His people just to make us feel better about ourselves, but He has a purpose. 1 Peter 2:9 ends with this strong statement, "...that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light." That is why you were justified by grace, to proclaim His excellency. May today you find your joy in the truth that you belong to Him and live to bring glory to Him and Him alone. Christ died for a purpose. It is our privilege and opportunity to proclaim who He is and what He did!

Comforts from the Cross - Day 9

2011-01-17T12:26:00.000-06:00

Consider Him

Consider Him who endured from sinners such hostility against Himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. -Hebrews 12:3

"People want to get over it (whatever it is) and they want to get over it right away." This is the nature of our world. We have a sickness and we want to see the doctor right now, get some medicine, and move on. Relationships end and we do whatever we can to get over it as quickly as possible. You can see examples over and over again in your life of this idea, and we usually want to apply it to sin as well. I hate the continual struggle with sin and have many moments where I desire immediate release from it, but sometimes God allows me to struggle. Obviously, the writer of Hebrews knew of struggles with sin and the desire to be over it quickly, but His perspective was not like our world's. He wrote this in Hebrews 12:1-3, "...let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted."

This passage doesn't promise that our struggle with sin will quickly go away. No, it encourages us to endure and look to Jesus as our example of endurance! "In the original language, all three times endurance has the connotation of patience, submiting to trial or waiting underneath something difficult." We read the admonition, but why is this so difficult to practice? The nature of sin causes our struggle - we love it and we hate it, and it does not surrender without a struggle. "If this battle is so difficult, why don't we just give up? That would seem reasonble if it weren't for the Gospel! The Gospel teaches us that instead of focusing on ourselves and our closely clinging sin, we have got to focus on, to consider, Jesus!" This passage tells us that He is the founder and perfector of our faith, so as believers, we do not struggle alone with our sin. Jesus began our faith and the Bible says that He will also complete it. We have help and hope as we battle against sin.

Today, I rejoice in the faithfulness of Christ as He endured sin and shame to redeem sinners. "He endured hostility from the very people He has been sent to redeem so that we would know the joy of sharing His defeat of sin." I rejoice that my faith is not dependent on me to overcome sin, but that Jesus provides what is needed to have victory over the sin that "clings so closely" each day. Today is Monday and a busy day for most people, stop for a moment and consider Jesus. Consider the example of endurance He gave us, and strive to focus on Him as you run the race set before you!

Comforts from the Cross - Day 8

2011-01-16T15:46:00.000-06:00

Jesus, Remember Me

And he said, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom." -Luke 23:42

"Since the beginning of time, there have only been three kinds of people." This thought sounds quite strange to open a chapter with this thought, but we have a unique opportunity to observe these three types of people in one place. Three crosses on a hill outside the city of Jerusalem over two thousand years ago is the best illustration of these three types of people. A short account of this can be found in Luke 23:32-43.

In the story here, we see three men. All appear to be criminals, but in actuality only two are guilty of crimes. They seem utterly helpless, incapable of doing anything to save themselves. There is no time for apologies or a second chance. They only experience suffering that will eventually lead to death. "This is the exact representation of the spiritual condition of everyone who has ever lived." I am classified as a guilty criminal and so are you. Unfortunately, the bondage of sin has produced suffering that will ultimately lead to death.

The criminals that day each responded differently to Jesus. One cried out in his anger and unbelief, asking Jesus to just do something, anything to save him. The other man cried in faith, asking for Jesus to remember him. He knew he had violated the laws and was dying for it. His condemnation seemed as if justice were being served. He was correct, but little did he know that "he was about the receive the due reward for someone else's deed. He pleads for mercy, 'Jesus, remember me.'"

Jesus is the third man. The One "who captures our attention and His presence transforms everything." The man who cried for mercy obtained it from Jesus that day. Jesus represents us too, but in a very unique way, before the Father. He was the only One able to save Himself. He kept the law perfectly and is able to present those who trust in Him before the Father. The Bible says that "He was numbered with the transgressors." It was out of love for you and me, that He became one of us.

Today, I rejoice in the truth that Jesus became one of us, so that He could provide mercy and pardon for sin. On the cross, He did not just remember one criminal, but many.

Comforts from the Cross - Day 7

2011-01-15T22:39:00.000-06:00

Random thought before I dive into today's reading. I have been thinking as I read about connections of each day's reading. Lots of thoughts have swirled through my head, but one that keeps coming back. If I am proclaiming the Gospel to myself each day, what am I learning or what do I see? This is what I see: the Gospel is the answer to "self-esteem" issues. Maybe there is a better way to say that, but I think our world is all about making me feel better about myself, while the Gospel over and over again shows me that my value and worth is found only in Christ and His work on the cross. The Bible presents me as one that does not do good, with a deceitful and wicked heart. As a believer, the Gospel is my answer. It is the truth and nothing else is needed. So, if you are looking to become a "better person," I challenge you to look at the work of Christ. It was more than enough and when I put my faith and trust in Him, I find my identity in Him. The title of this book continues to ring true in my life, I receive comfort and hope only from the cross.

Unfazed by Grace?

The servant fell on his knees, imploring him, "Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything." -Matthew 18:26

"A life of Godliness is impossible without an awareness of lavish grace." This thought is further developed with the parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:21-34. You should read the story, but I am going to summarize it quickly. A servant owed the king/master money, and begged for longer to pay, the king had mercy and forgave the servant all his debts. Later, the servant who was forgiven ran across a man who owed him a small amount of money. The second man asked for mercy and received none. The king heard that the forgiven man showed no mercy to the other. He was outraged and in essence gave the servant what he rightfully deserved - prison, until he could pay off all his debts. (Not the best summary, read the Bible. It is so much better.)

When we read this story, it is easy to jump to conclusions and think that the forgiven man was crazy for not extending to his friend what he had been given - Mercy! First, we need to look closely at the verse above, he asked for patience from the king until he could pay. Not necessarily a bad thing, but many Bible study notes show that what he owed was more than anyone could pay back in a lifetime. "This debtor thought that the way out of punishment was by working hard... In his pride, arrogance, and self-deceit, he thought his situation wasn't all that bad!" Can you imagine his surprise when the king forgave him all of his debt? Unfortunately the story shows that the man walked away the same, "convinced of his own innate goodness and ability to deliver himself."

Elyse continues these thoughts in a statement that hammered my heart, "He had too high an opinion of himself and too low an opinion of the king. He was unfazed by grace." I would want to quickly say that this story is not me, but IT IS! Each and every part. How can I be so quick to condemn the servant when his story is mine? This is why the challenge is "proclaim His death" each day to myself is so important. The fact that I do not love my neighbor as myself or forgive when I have been wronged is not meant to condemn myself (like was stated yesterday), but to drive me to Jesus. The Bible says that we fall short. Just like the servant in the story, I could not pay my debt even with a lifetime of work. My abilities and goodness are not good enough, not even close.

So, what do I do when I am unfazed by grace? "Drench my proud, despairing, demanding soul in these words: 'Jesus died for sinners.'" Today, I rejoice in the magnitude of what was accomplished on the cross. My debt was completely paid. I live and hope in grace - unmerited, undeserved, beautiful grace. I rejoice that He loves me in my selfishness and continues to remind me that I been forgiven and set free because of His work.

Comforts from the Cross - Day 6

2011-01-14T20:26:00.000-06:00

Silencing the Accuser

And I head a loud voice in heaven, saying, "Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of His Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God." -Revelation 12:10

"If you belong to Jesus today, your enemy, Satan has two goals: to remind you of your sin and to accuse you continually before God. Satan takes perverse pleasure in reminding you over and over again of your failures." Day 6 begins with these though provoking words. Is it wrong to examine our lives for sin or ask God to reveal areas where we need to repent? Definitely not. Those things are great and should be a part of every believers life, but Satan doesn't care or even want the Holy Spirit working in the life of the believer. Satan's desire is for our self-condemnation, which is completely different than conviction of sin. Elyse writes this, "He subtly, yet relentlessly reminds me of my sin, but it's not his work alone. He's working in tandem with my proud heart, a heart that wants to be free of my consciousness of sin and need for a Savior." How often am I guilty of condemning myself, and then trying to fix my sin on my own.

Conviction of sin draws me to repentance, reminds me that I have offended my King, and also grants grace that my sins are once and always forgiven. Paul's words in Romans 8:1 affirms this truth, "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Self-condemnation draws me to look at myself and when that happens Jesus is no longer preeminent and the focus is a "shattered image of myself." This is when we remember the truth of Revelation 12:11, "They have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb..." How do we silence the accuser? Not by following the law or attempting to be a good person, but because of the blood of the Lamb that was slain for sin. This is the truth that we set our heart on and where our hope is found. This is the truth that to live out radical lives devoted only to our Savior!

Today, I rejoice that guilt and shame of sin has been once and for all forgiven because of the Lamb that was slain. Elyse concludes with this exhortation, "Be careful not to get these steps out of order in your walk today: forgiveness and full assurance of your Savior's love and grace come first, then comes the pursuit of Godliness." Are you resting in the forgiveness and assurance that comes from the Savior? He is the One who silences the accuser, and because of His work, we are free to pursue and live a life of Godliness.

Comforts from the Cross - Day 5

2011-01-13T16:09:00.002-06:00

Cured---and Clean

His disciples said to Him, "You see the crowd pressing around you, and yet you say, 'Who touched me?'" -Mark 5:31

To have some insight into today's encouragement, you have to start with this incredible story of the woman Jesus healed in Mark 5:25-34. This woman carried the labels of unclean, defiled, and excluded from society. Under the Old Testament laws, her condition even left her isolated from her family. Verse 27 says, "She had heard the reports about Jesus and came up behind Him in the crowd and touched His garment." She came looking for physical healing that day, but the gift she would receive was much greater than any physical healing. Jesus asked the disciples who touched Him, but I am sure He had known her name since the beginning. The woman knew she had been healed and answered the question of Jesus by coming to Him. She seems to come to Jesus in fear, yet with great faith as she falls before His feet. Like only our precious Savior can do, He comforts her with these words, "Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace..." Jesus called her "Daughter" which is a sweet term of endearment and indicates a family relationship. I am sure she would have been happy to be made well physically that day, but Jesus came to do more than just heal. He came to restore what has been broken since man fell into sin at the beginning. He invited her into a relationship with Him, and invites us to do the same. A relationship based on faith in Him - who He is and what He has done to redeem us from the defilement of sin.

One thought that baffles my mind about this is that the woman was unclean and everyone she touched became unclean until she met Jesus. Elyse writes, "Because Jesus is completely pure, He isn't concerned about becoming defiled by touching us. Instead He draws us near; He speaks to us in love. He sees our desperation, our bankruptcy, and our uncleanness, and He still desires a relationship." What is amazing about Jesus is that as we draw closer to Him, it is actually His holiness that infects you and me!

As I have pondered these thoughts, a song came to mind by Matthew Smith titled Redeemed, Restored, Forgiven. I can imagine this woman that was healed would have related perfectly to the second verse of this song. I know its truth is something my thankful heart should sing every day!

Once on a dreary mountain
We wandered far and wide,
Far from the cleansing fountain
Far from the pierced side
But Jesus sought and found us
And washed our guilt away
With cords of love He bound us
To be His own today

Chorus:
Redeemed, restored, forgiven
Through Jesus' precious blood
Heirs of His home in heaven
Oh, praise our pardoning God

Dear Lord receive the glory
Of each recovered soul
Oh who can tell the story
Of love that made us whole?
Not our, not ours, the merit
Be Yours alone the praise
And ours a thankful spirit
To serve You all our days

Now keep us, holy Savior
In Your true love and fear
And grant us by Your favor
The grace to persevere

Till in Your new creation
When Earth meets Heaven's shore
We find our full salvation
And praise You evermore

Comforts from the Cross - Day 4

2011-01-12T16:23:00.000-06:00

Dead to the Law

Likewise, my brothers, you also have died to the law through the body of Christ, so that you may belong to another, to Him who has been raised from the dead, in order that we may bear fruit for God. -Romans 7:4

"Because we are dead, the law no longer has any power over us." Do we really believe this truth? Dead to the law means that you belong to someone else - Jesus Christ, who defeated death and the law for you and me. However, if I still try to live as though I am under the law, I miss the opportunity to bear fruit for God. Elyse uses the example of the Pharisees in the New Testament. These people were great keepers of the law, but what did they produce? Not fruit unto God. Their slavery to the law lead to envy, hatred, evil ambition, and unbelief. "People who are intent on obeying the law as a way to earn favor with God will always end up judging, envying, and hating God and others (Galatians 5:14, 25-26)."

The plea here is not to be obedient because of the law or to earn the favor and love of God. The Father already loves us! He proved that by sending Jesus. The desire should be to bear fruit so that others are irresistibly drawn to Christ. So today, we remember and rejoice that we no longer belong to the law, but to Another! Because Jesus perfected you in eternity and His saving grace has been extended even now, our desire should be to follow after the command of Jesus in Matthew 5:16, "...let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven." Bearing fruit for God, to give glory to our Father in Heaven because of His great love.

Comforts from the Cross - Day 3

2011-01-11T17:12:00.001-06:00

Presented in Splendor

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word, so that He might present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. -Ephesians 5:25-27

The focus of today is not on the fact that husbands should love their wives as is often taught in theses verses (I have no authority to speak on that), but the emphasis is on what Christ did for the church in order for us to be presented in splendor, without spot or wrinkle, holy and blameless. These words gripped my heart, "He fell as a sinner (though he was innocent) into the hands of the living God. Consider the power of the love that motivated Him to intentionally plunge Himself into a fiery furnace that burned with relentless wrath, bearing in a few short hours an infinity of hellish misery." He was faithful to accomplish this terrible, unimaginable wrath to redeem us to be His bride. Not only did He accomplish the work the Father set out for Him, but also took the responsibility to clothe His redeemed. Isaiah 61:10 shares this truth, "He has clothed me with the garments of salvation; He has covered me with the robe of righteousness,..." He presented us, His imperfect bride, with the most perfect wedding garment, a robe of righteousness!

Instead of recognizing the words as truth and rejoicing in this work of Christ, it is still easy to compare ourselves to others. I see the ugliness of pride and selfishness in my life and can only imagine that God is disappointed in me and my sin. Then, I compare myself to others and hope that I am not as defiled as they are. Yes, we should feel shame and repent over our sin, but after repentance our thoughts should be replaced. "Christ gave Himself up for our disgrace. His blood has washed away all our impurity. He has presented you to Himself 'in splendor'" As a little girl, I loved to played dress up with my friends. It was always fun to visit my friends, because they had the better dress up stuff. When we are clothed with the righteousness of Christ, we are not playing dress up with a borrowed wardrobe - It is yours! "He has made you holy - spirit, soul, and body in order to present you in splendor." The garments of righteousness have already been placed on you and today we can rejoice and celebrate that this is who we are in Christ. Not because of anything that I have done, but because Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her!

Comforts from the Cross - Day 2

2011-01-10T20:33:00.000-06:00

No More Wrath

For the law brings wrath, but where there is no law there is no transgression. Romans 4:15

Questions for thought: "Do you think God gets mad at you? Can you picture him saying, 'You're really in trouble now!'? Do you think He's a demanding, impatient, angry Father just waiting for an opportunity to punish you?"

Maybe there were moments in your past where a parent would be angry with you because you violated their rules. With violation of the rules, comes guilt, shame, and fear of punishment. (Trust me, I was the kid who violated many rules.) This is not the case for those who have trusted in Christ. Elyse writes this, "because Jesus Christ perfectly obeyed every facet of the law in your place and then died bearing all the guilt and wrath that was rightfully yours, you are no longer obligated to obey the law as a way to avoid His wrath." Jesus took our wrath and abolished the law by His death on the cross!! No more wrath for those who have trusted in Christ. This is where my favorite part comes in, Elyse calls it "gospelized obedience." We obey in response to God's love and grace being poured out in our lives. "All other obedience degenerates into penance or trying to avoid punishment... It seems upside down to say that God motivates our obedience by freeing us from law and declaring that He has no wrath left for us, but it's true, and true faith embraces it." I am once again amazed by the work of Christ that He took the wrath and motivates my obedience - His plan and His work.

Today, I rejoice in the words of Romans 5:1, "Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ." The Gospel is true, the righteousness of Christ is mine, and our God is that good. No more wrath. Peace with God because of Jesus.

Comforts from the Cross - Day 1

2011-01-09T16:15:00.000-06:00

I bought a new book called Comforts from the Cross by Elyse M. Fitzpatrick. The book's subtitle is Celebrating the Gospel One Day at a Time. I wasn't exactly sure what I was getting into when I started reading, but decided maybe to blog through the book. It is a really a 30 devo-type book. I haven't used something like this in a long time, but I like what I am reading so wanted to share.

Day 1 - Celebrate Jesus
As often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until He comes. 1 Corinthians 11:26

She talks about celebrating communion in the church to remember Jesus. I agree wholeheartedly that I am grateful my church celebrates communion to help me remember as I often forget. So for day 1, the admonition is to celebrate Jesus! How easy it is to speak about Jesus in random moments in everyday life, but to celebrate Jesus rarely happens in my life. Elyse asks this question, "Does it seem as though the story of Christ's life, death, and resurrection are cherished truths yet disconnected from daily life?" It is so much easier to focus on my own issues and things in my world and completely forget who Jesus is and what He has done for my life.

It is actually easier to focus on my Christianity than to think of Jesus. I was convicted by these words... "Today isn't about me at all. It's about Him: His sinless life, death, resurrection, ascension, and reign and the sure promise of His return. It's the gravity of His life that should attract my thought toward Him." Elyse's admonition for my self-centered Christianity would be to preach the Gospel to myself today and every day! I need to celebrate the Gospel! We need to celebrate the Gospel! "He died for your sin, He is ruling sovereignly over every facet of your life, and soon He will return to right every wrong and relieve you of your trouble."

For the next 30 days and beyond, my prayer is that I will learn to celebrate Jesus and the Gospel in my life. He who gave me His righteousness is most worthy to be celebrated!

29 Things

2010-08-16T17:12:00.000-05:00

Today is my 29th birthday! Craziness. I decided it would be a good time to start blogging again. My Mom used to write these verses on everything she wrote to my brother and myself, "Moreover, as for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD by ceasing to pray for you, and I will instruct you in the good and the right way. Only fear the LORD and serve Him faithfully with all your heart, for consider what great things He has done for you." (1 Samuel 12:23-24)

So, today, I am stopping to consider and because I like numbers, here are my 29 things (in no particular order.)

A job that gives me the opportunity to work with and serve people. I love it and look forward to work each day.
My little brother who has been so annoying and so wonderful in my life. I love you Jimbo and my heart is truly grateful for you.
Lessons learned from my Mom and Dad. The more I reflect, the more I see things that they taught me with their words and actions. The Word of God is powerful to me, because their lives reflected their belief in the powerful Word!
Aunts who have been like extra Moms to me throughout my life and even more so now. Y'all have invested in me in incredible ways. You are my Philippians 1:3 people.
Things that I have needed that God has given me through other people. I have prayed for many material items and God has provided. This is a good reminder that what I have is not mine, but all belongs to Him. He graciously provides His children with good things!
Music that speaks truth to my heart even when it is convicting. I have been introduced to a whole lot of new things lately! I am grateful for that!
My church family. You have truly been my family for the past 8 years. My time in Memphis would not have been near as wonderful without you.
A best friend, Amanda, who shares in my joys, sorrows, and everyday life. My heart is attached to yours. You are truly a blessing from the Lord!
No matter how old I get, I am grateful that God has blessed me with Darryl, the older brother. Every girl needs a guy who has their back, can beat up the bullies, give you a hard time, and love you just the same. You rock my big bro, through the good times and bad! Thanks for being a constant in my life.
The guys I work with, you make fun of me, you challenge me with theology, and so much more. I love the opportunity I have to serve Jesus with you.
Coffee. Enough said.
My roomie, Teri, you have been such a faithful friend and I feel like life has taken us some crazy places. Because of you, I have laughed a ton, tried to do pushups, and so many other crazy things! I am grateful God has brought us together once again and for your sweet friendship.
3 Kids who call me Aunt Sha (or Shawna). When everything else in life is crazy, you are a sweet reminder that being a kid is fun and something we should all enjoy from time to time. Y'all make me smile.
My roomie, Darlene! I know it took forever for me to say ok, we can be roomies! How you have blessed my life! I love our crazy "intentional" conversations. Your love for people and your sweet Spanish skills inspire me!
For the joy of having a Godly Mom for the first 27 years of my life. She was my best friend, mentor, confidant, and so much more. My heart is forever knit with hers. I still thank God for her impact in my life. My heart misses her everyday, especially on the special days!
Peanuts comics. They have made me laugh for many years. Lucy will always be my favorite. She makes me smile, "That'll be 5 cents please."
My adopted Silas family. You love me like I belonged to you. I appreciate you more than words could ever express. I'm happy being Shawntrice to y'all!
The opportunity to serve Jesus overseas on some incredible Mission Trips. My life has been impacted forever because of what I have seen and experienced. I pray I never get over how my life has been blessed, not just because I live in America, but I have the joy of having a relationship with Jesus.
My Dad. Yes, he is my hero and example. I want to love Jesus as much as He does. He has me taught so much. My heart is overwhelmed. I am happy to be his "little girl." (some petnames never go away.)
My iPhone. No, it is not idolatry, but only righteous love for this wonderful technology. It also makes me life more organized. This is a very good thing.
My sister-in-law, Becky. Thank you for loving an annoying middle schooler. I'm glad I outgrew those "awkward years" and we can now be friends. My brother, niece, and nephews are blessed to have you!
Salvation. I am still grasping the magnitude of this gift!
A precious person in my life named Kimberly. You are my favorite for so many reasons. I have loved you for 7 years. Thanks for hanging with an "old person."
A Godly heritage passed on from my Grandparents and Parents. I pray I never get over this blessing.
The opportunity to meet with Student Ministry Girls and just talk about Jesus. I get so excited about you learning and when I see what you are learning put into practice in your life. Continually amazed at God's work in you.
My ESV study Bible. The Word of God is living and powerful in my life. I am so grateful!
I have had the opportunity to work with Life Choices as a volunteer. It has been a bigger blessing to me than I could ever contribute. Thank you for encouraging ladies to choose life for their unborn babies.
A certain guy who has captured my heart! I am so grateful to God for you!
My adopted church "nieces and nephews." Each week you bring a smile to my face as I enjoy your sweet hugs and crazy questions. I get excited that you already know so much about Jesus and have Godly moms and dads who desire for you to know truth! Amazing kiddos you will grow up to be!

There could be so many more! So excited God has blessed with 29 years and cannot wait to see what He has planned! His ways are so much higher than mine!

I Missed You Today...

2009-10-18T22:04:00.003-05:00

Actually, I miss my Mom everyday, but especially today. I saw my dear friend open baby shower gifts for her precious little boy as her Mom sat beside her on the couch and smiled along with her and I hurt. To the deepest part of my heart, I hurt. I thought about how Mom wouldn't sit beside me and smile. There will be someone beside me, but it won't be her. She will miss out on getting to know the man I am going to marry and the children I will one day have. Or maybe it is the other way around. I will miss getting to introduce her to some Godly man who has captured my heart and my children will miss knowing their sweet Grandma. But right now, I miss her. I think about her everyday wondering what joys she is experiencing in Heaven and how cancer no longer has control in her body. Scripture continues to remind me of her. I read Romans 5:1-5 to my Sunday School Girls this morning.
I'm attached to this new Phil Wickham song called Safe ---

To the one who's dreams are falling all apart
And all you're left with is a tired and broken heart
I can tell by your eyes you think your on your own
but you're not all alone

Have you heard of the One who can calm the raging seas
Give sight to the blind, pull the lame up to their feet
With a love so strong and never let you go
oh you're not alone

You will be safe in His arms
You will be safe in His arms
'Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart
This is the promise He made
He will be with You always
When everything is falling apart
You will be safe in His arms

Did you know that the voice that brings the dead to life
Is the very same voice that calls you to rise
So hear Him now He's calling you home
You will never be alone

These are the hands that built the mountains
the hands that calm the seas
These are the arms that hold the heavens
they are holding you and me

These are hands that healed the leper
Pulled the lame up to their feet
These are the arms that were nailed to a cross
to break our chains and set us free

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! -Psalm 34:8

To Kimberly on Your Graduation Day

2009-05-16T21:35:00.003-05:00

Did you want to know my favorite thing about today was? You. Never before had I enjoyed the honor and privilege of seeing a 7th Grade Girl Graduate, but wait, you are not a 7th Grader anymore. You are a beautiful, amazing High School Senior/Graduate who is entering the world with a heart full of dreams. Allow me just for a moment to reflect on 5 or so years and what makes this day so special.

Did you know that you were the most annoying 7th Grader ever? Maybe not ever, but you annoyed me so much that it left an impression. I think you probably only owned basketball shorts during that time. That's what I remember, this athletic middle school student who was always around. I think in Middle School you were the most faithful to Student Ministry events. Who knew your faithfulness would carry over into so many of the things you do?

Did you know that the emo/punk look wasn't really you? You tried, there is too much joy in your life and the smiles and laughs come so often, there is no way that is you! I think during that time you learned to love all types of people. You never judged because someone was different, you just reached out as a friend. Who knew that so many people would be impacted because you became their friend?

Did you know that your guitar lessons were not just for you? With learning and your God-given talent, you became a part of something bigger than guitar lessons. People were able to see you worship Jesus in Spirit and Truth. You were set apart for a unique service and that continues to this day. Who knew your guitar would be an instrument that would bring great glory to God.

Did you know that every time you ask a Bible question, my heart would be so joyful? You have this crazy passion and desire to learn. This makes me rejoice. Who knew a 17 year old could care so much about living a holy life?

I have never seen it before and not sure when it will happen again. You are a unique masterpiece; created by God to serve and glorify Him. And you are. Are you perfect? Not even close, but you continue to try. I get excited to answer your text messages, to meet with you and find out what God is doing in your life. Do you know that sometimes when you do not even realize that He is working, He is. He is fashioning your life into something amazing and He is doing it a little a time. This causes all of us who know and love you to step back and be amazed at God's Work.

Your graduation day was special for me because I got to be a part. I have seen you grow and mature not just outside, but inside as well. You have reached an important milestone in your life and I am so proud. Not just of what you have accomplished, but what you have become. You love Jesus so much, your classmates even recognized that. Your day was special because your parents have worked hard, invested time, and love you so deeply. Your day was special because we laughed at a crazy waitress, enjoyed some Starbucks, and I stayed away for "teaching mode." For just a moment, we enjoyed today. That's what made today special.

You are the closest thing I have to a little sister. It is my joy and privilege to be a part of your life.

Did you know eating cheese pizza with someone can change your life? Who knew? Now, I do.

A New Mother's Day

2009-05-10T22:11:00.004-05:00

I took tulips to the cemetery for Mom yesterday. I cried a lot. I've cried everyday for the past 4 days. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day. Not sure I could let today get away without sharing something.

I've been thinking of the blessing I have received from having Godly parents and even though my Mom is gone, I continue to learn from her. Here's what I realized today and hope that I have the opportunity to pass on to my children someday. Dad is the smart theologian, knows God's Word, every Old Testament Bible story, and the opposing sides of a theological debate. I love it that he has this kind of knowledge. It gives way for some interesting conversations. He has this incredible love for learning that I believe He has passed on to me. When it comes to theological things, he is not really every surprised. He has heard it before, has an opinion, and is willing to listen to me. I love these conversations... a lot!

Mom was a little different in the way that she just simply loved the Bible. She knew the stories like Dad, but had a more practical side of reading the Word. I remember coming across passages of Scripture and being encouraged, impressed, or challenged. Of course, she had read the Scripture passage many times; the interesting thing was that she had a story or time in her life when that part of God's Word was especially real to her and how God had spoken to her through His Word. I remember reading Romans 5 after she got cancer and she told me about a specific time in college. It was incredible. The last time I was in Brazil, we read it everyday and then had some great conversation about it when I returned home. Another time, she challenged me to memorize the book of Philippians. She quoted it much better than I ever could, and so many of the verses had been a special part of her life.

So, what's the point? I said all of that to say this, what I realized today. Dad gave me my love for learning and theological study; Mom gave me a love for God's Word. They were working together to teach me and I had no idea, maybe they did. Not sure. This Mother's Day, I am extremely thankful. I hope that someday I have the privilege to teach my children what has been passed down to me.

Hear, my son, your father's instruction,
and forsake not your mother's teaching,
for they are a graceful garland for your head
and pendants for your neck.
Proverbs 1:8-9

Some Random...

2009-05-06T22:07:00.002-05:00

I think it is time for another bullet point post:

I'm tired and craving some silence and solitude. I'm thankful that God still speaks in the chaos of life. In times like this, I realize the great joy that comes from His Word.
I miss Mom. It feels like yesterday, it feels like years. My heart has a void.
A student God has placed in my life has been a great source of encouragement. Kimberly and I have met, studied God's Word, and hung out for about 5 years now. She is getting ready to graduate High School. She is amazing. God has already done some incredible things in her life and I know the future looks promising. What a blessing she has been to me! I'm so proud of her.
Got to lead a lady to Christ during EE last night. It was different. She was so focused even though there were so many distractions. So thankful for the work of the Holy Spirit drawing people to the Savior.
Still reading through the Old Testament. I love the different perspective that it has on God and his relationship with Israel. One thing I have seen lately, I serve a God who keeps His promises. How comforting. How encouraging.
My dad is preaching on Sunday. I've already heard a little of his message. It's like I am the practice run before He preaches. Some things never change. I probably need to hear it twice.

Reading in 1 Corinthians to get through my Bible reading in a year, I read this morning, "For he who was called in the Lord as a slave is a freedman of the Lord. Likewise he who was free when called is a slave of Christ. You were bough with a price, do not become slaves of men." Never thought I would enjoy being a slave, but would not trade anything in this world for the opportunity of serving Jesus.

To My Sweet Arkansas Family

2009-04-11T20:57:00.002-05:00

I just returned from a few days in Arkansas. When I was a teenager and even in my early 20's, I couldn't really stand going to Arkansas or being there. It was like some kind of obligation. Thankfully as time progresses, I've grown up and don't feel that way anymore. So, I thought I would share how I feel about my family (immediate and extended) who I get to see when I am Arkansas.

Even though it is not my home there anymore, you make me feel right at home. You invite me to come, kick off my shoes, and stay awhile. You care more about my life than most would even venture to ask. You celebrate the little joys in my life and are so excited about what the future holds. You ask questions, sometimes you are nosy, but I think it is just because you care more than most. You are a safe place for me, where I don't have to worry about what I might say or how I look. You think I am beautiful all the time and you tell me so. You allow me to talk freely and openly about ministry, but never ask me to minister in a specific situation. However, you minister to me. I am served and loved in the most incredible ways. The little things you do bring me great joy. You recharge me and encourage me. You notice little things and listen to my stories, but most of all you just let me be me. Thanks for understanding when I want to be alone and when I can stay awake till 1 am talking about everything. Thank you for saying sweet things about my Mom and helping me remember things about her. Thank you for already knowing the things I like and enjoy without me even saying a word. Thank you for making me laugh and laughing at me when I say or do something stupid. Thank you for reminding how blessed I truly am with an incredible family. Thank you for sacrificing your time for me, your investment in my life has not gone unnoticed. You remind me of Philippians 1. I do thank my God with every remembrance of you, and I hold you deeply in my heart.

Just in case you didn't realize or I failed to tell you, You are my favorite thing about coming home.

8 Months

2009-03-23T21:50:00.002-05:00

I have a lot to write, but tonight I'm just thinking about 8 months that have passed since Mom went to rest in the presence of our Savior. Lately, I have been missing little things about her. The way she responded to certain situations, her pancakes, phone calls, and hearing her voice. Her voice is still in my head. It will probably never go away and I'm just fine with that. I was reading today in John 16 when Jesus tells His disciples that He would be going away. He told them that they would sorrow for awhile, but then rejoice and when they would come to Him, no one would be able to take away their rejoicing. (my paraphrasing) That is exactly how I feel concerning missing Mom. I know that our sorrow and rejoicing seem to have their roller coaster moments, but when we are reunited and experiencing Jesus and the joys of Heaven, it delights my heart to know that the joy of Jesus will never be taken away. How I long to live in light of eternity!

I love Hebrews 12:2, "for the joy that was set before Him, he endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."

Giving up dessert for Lent...

2009-02-28T04:14:00.004-06:00

Another year, another Lenten season. I'm still Southern Baptist and sometimes I wonder if it would be helpful for us to celebrate something such as this. I did not participate in Fat Tuesday, although I thought some pancakes would be delicious. Ash Wednesday came and went for me. I have the need to confess my sins everyday and have an amazing High Priest who serves as a mediator to God on my behalf. Yesterday I listened to an Ash Wednesday service podcast. My thinking and views of Lent have changed.

Most people give up something and play this card, "I'm giving up chocolate for Jesus. I get to experience His sufferings by suffering without chocolate for 40 days." It made me sad that I could compare giving up something so insignificant to His great sufferings. The Bible says in Isaiah 53, "But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed." No way in the world could giving up chocolate, caffeine, desserts or any other thing compare to Him being wounded, crushed, and beaten.

This year I've given up eating dessert, not so in the end I can say "Woohoo, I gave up dessert for Jesus." No, I'm giving up something I enjoy with a desire to focus my heart and mind on the greatest event that ever was or ever will be in human history. For believers nothing of this world should have control over your life, but Jesus. I'm focusing on some inward changes in my life as well, which I may blog about if God gives me some victory in this area. I want to be excited about Easter. We countdown to Christmas and make it a huge deal, but Easter suddenly comes on us and we go into superspiritual mode. My desire is to be ever mindful of His death and resurrection. This event changed my life forever and has taken a fallen human and gave the promise and hope of eternal life. This is cause for celebration and reflection, more than just one Sunday of the year.

Sorta an update

2009-02-23T22:07:00.002-06:00

I've been far too busy to blog. I cannot tell you how many people God has put in my path lately and given incredible opportunities to minister. I pick people over blogging any day. Here's what has been on my mind lately: modesty. How can I convey this to the girls that God puts in my life? Amy, the girl that I teach with, said something that got me thinking even more about it yesterday. Modesty is defined by our culture and not by truths of God's Word. Modesty during the time of your Mom or Grandma is different than how people view it now. What exactly am I going to do about it? I have a few ideas. I think you have to teach parents and daughters, not just daughters. Dads should be involved in the modesty of the females in the family. I'll keep you posted, as I am excited about this new challenge.

Something I've always wanted to do...

2009-01-19T21:38:00.003-06:00

January is Sanctity of Human Life Month. I read an interesting blog about this situation today. On Saturday, I got to do something for someone else concerning this situation. The Student Ministry Girls hosted a Baby Shower for Life Choices of Memphis. It was amazing. I love that it is not all about me and what I can do, but about doing something for someone else. This organization is incredible and to be able to minister to them in this small way impacted me greatly. I love it when I get an opportunity to do something I have always wanted to do. As the shower ended, I kept thinking that I was walking away empty-handed, but with such gratefulness and gratitude for the gift and joy of life.

Reading

2009-01-12T20:47:00.004-06:00

I made some goals for this coming year. One started because of a wonderful Christmas gift I received, an ESV journaling Bible. (I'm a big fan of the ESV, as you may already know.) In this awesome Bible, it has a reading plan to read the OT through once, the NT twice, and Psalms twice. It sounded like a great plan to me, so I dove in on January 1. So far, so good. Here's the thing that I have been thinking about, I love to read blogs, especially about other people's lives. I get drawn into their story whether good or bad. As I have been reading through the book of Genesis, these stories are so interesting. Some of them are way out there and you just read thinking, "No way in the world could that happen." Others are so miraculous and shows how God was actively involved in His creation from the beginning. And there is God's promises that have been fulfilled for a few thousand years, it is amazing. So, what's the point? I want to read God's Word the way I read blogs, with a desire to see the new adventures that He had planned for His people. I was convicted a few months ago about reading the Bible because it is the desire of my heart and not an obligation. I do so many things in my life because I enjoy it or desire to do that. So, it has produced a goal for 2009, to read because knowing God and His Word is the desire of my heart. Some days, it is not my desire, but most days I am learning to open the Word with anticipation knowing that my Heavenly Father desires to speak to me.

17 years ago today...

2008-12-29T20:31:00.002-06:00

I asked Jesus into my heart. I was 10 and didn't have a huge grasp on what I was doing, but believed His Word that says, "If you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved." I love that salvation is available for all and even a child can receive it. I love that our salvation is still taking place as we are sanctified more and more to be like Christ. I love the blessed hope that one day our salvation will be complete. My mom lead me to Jesus. That should come as no surprise. She played a huge role in shaping my spiritual life and being one of the godliest examples in my life. Her example still inspires me today and hopefully for the rest of my life.

We had a beautiful Christmas. I loved that so many were praying for us. I got to feel a small touch of how God comforts His children. I've been amazed by the name "Immanuel" this Christmas season. Scripture says that it means "God with us." I'm so thankful that we are able to experience God with us more than 2000 years after He came to this earth.

17 years ago today I asked Jesus to come live in my heart. I am so thankful for that day.

Happy Birthday Mom!

2008-12-09T18:56:00.003-06:00

To Mom on your 64th Birthday:

Sixty-four years ago today you entered the world and I am so thankful for your day of birth. About five months ago, God chose to take you home to be with Him. I am trying to learn to be thankful for that day although it broke my heart deeper than it had ever been. I have been trying to imagine Heaven for the past few months and cannot comprehend. I think of you every day and try to do things like you would do them, although my cooking experiences still leave much to be desired. I am thankful for your relationship with Dad for over 40 years and how I continue to learn from it. Your kids have done their best to take care of Dad. He is a strong man with great faith, although he sometimes gets lonely without you.
I think of you everytime I am around your grandkids. I hope God allows you to see them a little bit. They are growing so fast and I cannot help but think of how much you adored them. I cannot wait to tell my children about you someday. I have so many great things to share.
I cannot help but think of you being with Jesus. I wonder if you would tell us that it is better than you could have imagined. I keep thinking of the part of the song from "O Come All Ye Faithful" that says, "For He Alone is Worthy." You lived your life like that and I am sure you are getting to see that first hand.
My heart misses you more than words can express. I saw what I thought would have been the best Christmas card for you the other day, had a few tears in Hallmark. You would've understood. I miss my Mom and I also miss my dear friend. You were the best and will always have a piece of my heart.

Until We Meet Again,
Shawna Joy

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-27T05:55:00.003-06:00

I might love this day more than any other, although the rolls that I made did not rise. Three things that I am thankful for, they have been on my mind all week. The top 3 for this year if you will:

My Mom is no longer suffering from the horrible effects of cancer.
God allows our faith to be shaken and stirred, not to harm us, but to show us how dependent we are on Him. Faith comes from Him and Him alone.
God Word, the Bible, has proven to be such a comfort and encouragement to me this year. When I read the pages, I see that God's Word is so alive and relevant for me. It has proven to be a true help and comfort, more than any other book or words that have been shared with me. I am so thankful for the words of peace and promise.

I encourage you to read Isaiah 12. It is a beautiful hymn of Thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Some randoms...

2008-11-23T21:16:00.002-06:00

It is the week of Thanksgiving! It may be my favorite holiday. It is definitely in close contention with Valentine's Day. Imagine a single girl saying that, I love Valentine's Day because of about a zillion wonderful memories. I remember a lot of them better than I have remembered most Christmases. Here's some things on my mind:

I'm tired of hearing about the movie Twilight. I am totally against it for a lot of reasons. I am sad that believers will take their children to see this movie. I hate it that the things of this world can have such a huge impact on the lives of believers.
I'm excited for a new president although I did not vote for him. I believe it is a big step for our country and I pray that his presidency will break down some racial barriers that are still prevalent in our world today, especially in my city. I believe that Christians have a responsibility to pray and support whoever God allows to serve in the office of the President.
Speaking of authority, I am struggling with some thoughts. We are finishing up with students in Colossians. Colossians 3 speaks of submission, first concerning wives to husbands, then children to parents, and finally employees to employers. I agree with how we respond to these relationships show our submission to God, but there is more. I think it is easy for men to preach that women should be in submission and I agree that it should be preached on. However, many men I encounter devalue women in the process of speaking on submission. If a man desires a woman to submit to him, treat her with care and respect. She is valuable in the eyes of God and should be given the same consideration in the eyes of man. (Disclaimer: This was not a problem in the preaching in my church, but some comments were made following the message.)

That's enough for tonight. Lots of controversial stuff anyways. I will write this week of the things I am thankful for, I can think of three that top the list.

With a heart of thanksgiving,
Shawna

Two Bracelets

2008-11-21T11:01:00.006-06:00

I've been in the blogging mood lately, but have been too tired or busy to blog. I took this picture the other day.
If you see me on any given day, you would probably see these as well. I started wearing the gold and pearl bracelet on August 1 or so. It is a Heaven bracelet and can be purchased here. The idea of the bracelet is taken from Revelation 21:21, " And the twelve gates were twelve pearls, each of the gates made of a single pearl, and the street of the city was pure gold, transparent as glass." It is a visual reminder to me of the beauty of Heaven and the people and treasure that await for those that know Jesus. I started wearing the green and silver bracelet around the first of September in honor of Ovarian Cancer Awareness month. The same lady who made the Heaven bracelet made a the Ovarian Cancer bracelet to my specifications.

These are two things that I cherish, not because of their value, but because of what they represent. I love that I know I will see my Mom again and enjoy eternity with her. Ovarian Cancer is a silent, but deadly cancer and much awareness and research has been done for early detection and a cure. Greater advancements need to be made before more ladies suffer from this deadly disease. I wear these bracelets in honor and in memory of my mom. My life was impacted by her for 27 years and she still continues to influence my thoughts and life even though she is away from my presence for a short time.

How to Continue

2008-11-03T15:07:00.003-06:00

1 Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. -Romans 5:1-5

These were mine and Mom's verses that we read while I was on Mission Trip to Brazil in 2007. I would read them over and over again in Brazil, knowing that Mom was back home battling cancer. She was reading them daily as well in an effort to continue to fight. We knew that the outcome would produce something that would bring hope in our lives and glorify God.

What I have been struggling with is how to take the God things that we did together and continue these practices in my life. I could always share Scripture with her that had made an impact in my life and she would want to read it. She would often tell me a story from her past and how those Words had served as encouragement or provided conviction in her life.

For the last few months or so before she passed away and was able to talk on the phone, we would pray together each evening. We had three things that had to be included in our prayer:

Give thanks to God for one person who had been a blessing to us that day.
Give thanks for one thing that God had blessed us with that day.
Pray for someone who was going through a more difficult time than us.

I remember the prayers so vividly and the people that God had allowed to cross our paths during that day. I remember the hurting people that God had placed in my life and ministry and how Mom would carry that burden with me.

So, what I am trying to figure out is how to continue to live out this legacy of faith that she has passed on to me. It is not the same since I don't have her to share it with me, but I am certain that she would not want me to stop praying specificially or getting excited about God's Word, even though I cannot tell her about it. This is obviously not a problem, but a good thing as I am being challenged to continue on in what I have been taught and know to be true.

3 Months Update

2008-10-24T15:03:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was three months since my Mom experienced her Heavenly treasure. I wish I could say my family is doing great and things are moving along quite well. I can say that most of the time my family is doing great and things are moving along quite well, but we have our moments. One thing about this time that has been so crazy for me is the lessons that I am learning. Often, I feel like I get a new lesson each week. God knows I could not handle too much at once, so I think that is obviously the point of showing something new each week. The biggest thing that I have seen in the past few days is that how one deals with the death of a loved one is significantly related to the faith of the one who passed away and the one left behind. This may not seem like a big deal, but it has been a big deal to me because I have actually seen it. I've encountered people in the last 3 months who have struggled with a death as a nonbeliever or as a relatively new Christian and it is interesting to see how difference their experience has been. My grief has been so real, but the hope that I have in Christ has been so much greater. Christ is the true foundation of my faith and my faith being shaken has not changed that in the least bit. The Word has been the biggest comfort to me, even more than the sweet words of some people or having my family by my side.
Of course, there is much more, but that is going to be it for now. God has been so faithful. I have been listening to a CD by Jami Smith called "Faith in You." It is amazingly honest. Life is changing for the better I believe, I am reading a ton and I love it. So many great books, so little time.
Of all the lessons I have learned, the thing that comes to me over and over again is that God is an ever-present friend. Oh how we need Him.

One More Week of Waiting

2008-10-07T16:03:00.001-05:00

I preordered this months ago and cannot wait for it to come out.

I love a good Study Bible, and am sure that this will be my favorite cause the ESV is my preferred translation. You can check it out here and even order one for yourself.

Happy Rainy Tuesday!

You are Everything

2008-10-03T08:21:00.002-05:00

I realized that my blog was starting to depress even me. So many good things are going on in my life. This is quickly becoming my new favorite song:

You Are Everything - Matthew West

I’m the one with two left feet
Standing on a lonely street
I can’t even walk a straight line
And every time you look at me
I’m spinning like an autumn leaf
Bound to hit bottom sometime
Where would I be without someone to save me
Someone who won’t let me fall

You are everything that I live for
Everything that I can’t believe is happening
You’re standing right in front of me
With arms wide open
All I know is
Every day is filled with hope
You are everything that I believe for
And I can’t help but breathe you in
Breathe again
Feeling all this life within
Every single beat of my heart
I’m the one with big mistakes
Big regrets and bigger breaks
Than I ever care to confess
Oh but, You’re the one who looks at me
And sees what I was meant to be
More than just a beautiful mess

You are everything that I live for
Everything that I can’t believe is happening
You’re standing right in front of me
With arms wide open
All I know is
Every day is filled with hope
You are everything that I believe for
And I can’t help but breathe you in
Breathe again
Feeling all this life within
Every single beat of my heart

You’re everything good in my life
Everything honest and true
And all of those stars hanging up in the sky
Could never shine brighter than You
You are everything that I live for
Everything that I can’t believe is happening
You’re standing right in front of me
With arms wide open
All I know is
Every day is filled with hope
You are everything that I believe for
And I can’t help but breathe you in
Breathe again
Feeling all this life within
Every single beat of my heart
You are
You are
Jesus, You are
You are everything

Another musical thing that I ran across that was incredible was this interview with Lecrae and Mark Driscoll. I saw Lecrae in concert a few months ago. He is definitely the real deal and even calls Memphis home.

2 months

2008-09-23T21:41:00.002-05:00

It has been two months today since Mom got a better offer to leave all earthly cares behind for brighter Home. In some ways, my heart is completely empty as I think about her not being here, and in other ways, I have never been so loved by a Heavenly Father and my family. I read from one of her books on the morning before she went to be with Jesus that afternoon. It is a quote from Spurgeon, "Many men owe the grandeur of their lives to their tremendous difficulties." We have experienced the difficulties and we are seeing glimpses of the grandeur. We have mostly seen God glorified. God took my Mom so that He could be glorified. No other reasons, but His glory. This is one of many lessons I am trying to grasp.

Mom's Ring

2008-08-27T14:54:00.005-05:00

Sometimes I wear my Mom's mothers ring. It has the birthstones of all 5 of our family members on it. Her birthstone is blue and it is in the middle. When I know that I am going to have a tough day I wear it. I don't need a reminder of her, everything reminds me of her. When I look at it, I am reminded of her strength and courage when facing tough situations. I want to be like her. I want to be strong and courageous, but often I feel weak and helpless. This month has been so hard. The missing her doesn't seem to go away, some days it is greater than others. I think that I wasn't through needing her yet, but God chose to take her. I am thankful that she is free from suffering and pain. I just wasn't ready to be without her. I miss that she listened better than anyone else. I miss her voice on the phone. I miss knowing whenever I went home, she would be there. I miss her.

Mom

2008-08-04T20:23:00.002-05:00

My mom joined Grandpa in Heaven on July 23, 2008. I didn't think it was possible to miss someone so much. I'm not sure when I will want to blog again. I wrote a lot while she was in the hospital. I may share some of that. We have many great memories, although my heart has been broken.

George Kelly Jr - May 19, 1918 - June 14, 2008

2008-06-24T20:40:00.002-05:00

My grandpa went home to Jesus a week and a half ago. I miss him a lot. God gave him 90 years on this earth and I was fortunate to know him for 26 of them. So many good memories, my last one is from breakfast on the Sunday before he passed away. Grandpa and Grandma were eating breakfast and wearing red shirts. Grandpa told me that everyone should wear red shirts on Sunday. This past Sunday, I wore a red shirt. His love for Jesus will affect me as long as I live. Thank you Grandpa for your Godly legacy. My heart will always miss you.

Graduation

2008-05-16T19:15:00.004-05:00

Tomorrow night at 6 pm, I am graduating from Union University with a Master's Degree in Christian Studies. I am psyched! I cannot believe that it is finally here!

The simpliest things

2008-04-12T21:10:00.002-05:00

I get joy from small things in life, like whip cream in the can, happy hour at sonic, waking up and realizing it is Saturday and I can sleep. Ya get the picture. Well, my mind has been on Theological things since I am reading this Systematic Theology book by Wayne Grudem. I usually read the book with the Bible by my side for looking up verses when he only gives the reference or for looking up the context. Anyway, I was reading about justification and came across these verses in Isaiah 55:6-7, "Seek the LORD while he may be found; call upon him while he is near; let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous his thoughts; let him return to the LORD, that he may have compassion on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon." I love these verses. I know I have read them many times. Here's what jumped off the page as a finished reading: verses 8-9, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Yes, more familiar verses.
Before now, I had not realized that those verses were hanging our next to each other. How incredible of God to put these together for me to read! :) I love it that when I seek God in His Word, He continues to impress me and show me more of Him.
Simple stuff, yet brings joy.

Theological Thoughts... sorta...

2008-04-02T21:09:00.002-05:00

Welcome to April. I love everything about Spring, except for allergies. Last night, I started my last class in Union University Master's of Christian Studies Program. The class is Theology 2. Theology 1 was obviously prior to this and I don't think that I have ever been so challenged in my beliefs. Maybe challenged is not a good word, but I have definitely gained a greater appreciation for Scripture.
Sometimes I wonder though if people have theological discussions to impress other people. My dad reminds me to be careful of words that are not Bible words and I think that some theological ideas can come from words that men deem important. We had this discussion last night concerning peccability and impeccability. The meaning of these words have to deal with the question of Jesus being able to sin and choosing not to or not having the ability to sin. In my class and the Biblical people that I am around expect you to have an opinion about these ideas. I kinda straddle the fence when it comes to this. I think the important thing is that Jesus lived a sinless life. The Bible definitely affirms this!
I don't want to know more about Theology because it impresses people. I want it to strengthen my faith and affirm things that I believe from Scripture.
My favorite verses that I have come across as I have been reading lots of Theology is found in Jeremiah 9:23-24. Thus says the LORD: "Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the LORD."
I hope that my knowledge of God increases through the study of Theology. Imagine delighting the Lord. That's the desire of my heart!