Dear Sweet Cell Phone,
Today, you let me down. We have been through so much together and last week, you experienced the horrible incident of being dropped and a little broken. Still, I continued to use you as I am addicted to you. Well, it's not really you, but the people you connect me with. Unfortunately, I dropped you in cup of water today and you no longer function. What will I do without you? Because of your untimely death, I will be forced to pay large amounts of money to replace you. And because I cannot live without you, I will pay.
I hope that you have enjoyed our time together. I certainly have. You will be missed, but will probably be soon forgotten as I plan to replace you with a newer model. Thank you for your service.