Comforts from the Cross - Day 18

A Broken Heart

Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit. -Psalm 51:12

"There are some days when, by His good grace, God deeply strikes my heart and shows me my sin. When God awakens me to it, it's easy for me to despair, to believe that I'm not changed, that I'll never change, to run."  How often I am reminded of the Lord's love for me, but often my sin is quite ugly.  As I read through Psalm 51 for today's devotional, I was reminded of a time when sin broke my heart and I needed restoration that only God could provide.  Elyse shares parts of her story in today's reading, but I realized that those whose sin has been cleansed, all have one of those times (or maybe many of those times). I'm going to share a little of one of mine. I asked permission of the person I sinned against, my little brother. Still thankful to this day that it it is now a vague memory in his mind.

Little bro was in high school, and I thought I was the smartest college student ever. I was home for the weekend and saw some "behavior" in him that I didn't think was the greatest. Being the fantastic person that I was, I decided that God was going to use me to show him the errors of his way.  (Every read Matthew 7:1-5? I had the plank...) I met him outside of our house as he was coming home from a date with his girlfriend. I think I had stored up all the meanest words I could think of to lash out at him. It was a verbal assault of the worst kind and ended horribly. I went to bed that night with so much anger and disgust at my little brother for not seeing what I thought were some huge problems in his life. The next day, Sunday, God would use part of David's story in 2 Samuel 12:1-15 to show me that it was actually me who had sinned against God and my brother with my actions. God broke my heart that morning and in the middle of Sunday School, I began to seek repentance.

Elyse wrote these words that I so easily relate to, "Yes, God is good, but I knew I hadn't been, and thinking about my sin felt too humbling."  David responded to his sin and guilt in a much better way than I handle mine. If you haven't read Psalm 51 yet, read it now. Stop and dwell on his prayer of repentance. The reading today points out just a few thoughts about David that should be characteristic of our repentance.

• He recognized the poverty of His soul. (verses 3-5)
• He pleaded for cleansing and covering. (verses 7-12)
• Because of what the Lord had done, He desired to worship. (verses 14-17)

There are more truths that I could point out from this passage and from what I read today, but these especially convicted my heart.  Often, I struggle with thinking of how to respond in worship when I recognize that after repentance, my heart should want to praise. It doesn't naturally do that. More often I see this idea, "my zeal in worship is mainly predicated on my approval of myself." What the Lord has had to teach me through some tough times of repentance and restoration is that "He did not want my good record. Instead, he wanted brokenness and humility that would make me love Him more (and in my case, my little brother.) Outward sacrifice is easy; it appeals to my religious pride. God desires a heart that is broken by sin and humbled. O, the mercy of a God who will not scorn the sinner's broken heart."

Earlier today, I heard this song, The Endless Mercy of Our God, by Matt Boswell. Such a simple song, yet so true. As I think about my sin, I rejoice that His mercy is so much greater and that the joy of salvation can be restored through a heart of repentance. 

Verse 1:           

The endless mercy of God will ever     

Be my ground secure

God unchanging will be my rock

Whom eternity assures

Chorus:           

The endless mercy of our God, The endless mercy of our God

Forevermore shall endure, the endless mercy of our God

Verse 2:           

The endless mercy of God displayed

Upon the cross so vile

The wrath of God there satisfied

And man be reconciled

Verse 3:

The endless mercy of God

The Holy Spirit hath he sealed

And written there in ink that ne’er  shall

Fade nor be concealed

Comforts from the Cross - Day 17

Freedom


For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to the yoke of slavery. -Galatians 5:1

I love the book of Galatians.  I don't have too much to say about today's reading, but I'm going to suggest you watch this on the book of Galatians.  (Josh Moody's accent provides an interesting 12 minutes along with the content.)

Elyse uses the idea of war to show some truths from the book of Galatians. "We not only battle slavery against sin, but also battle against slavery to the law." The Galatian church seemed to have this problem.  Paul takes the "spiritual father" role here and tells them again that works is not necessary for justification.  This is one of those points where I would probably quickly jump to a conclusion and think this is not a problem today. However, the truth is that it is a problem today.  

"Works-righteousness will enslave us, similar to more obvious sins, but it's far more dangerous because it appeals to our religious pride." "Religious pride" is an idea that gets to me. Why? Because I have it in my life. I like to compare my "good works" to those around me and think that I am helping God out by all the good "Christian" things that I do.  Satan is a fan of this religious pride, because ultimately it dishonors Christ and the work of Christ.  The solution for religious pride is found a few verses later in Galatians 5:16, "But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh." So many desires of the flesh, including religious pride, pull us and enslave us. Instead freedom in Christ awaits when I am willing to be Spirit-led, not me-led. "The one possibility that Satan dreads is that we might discover the priceless freedom Christ purchased for us."

Today, I rejoice in the freedom that comes from the work of Christ and am thankful for the work of the Spirit that provides the motive and power to obey. My obedience then comes not from trying to follow after the law, but genuine love for the Savior. His love set me free from the slavery of sin. I cannot help but think of the words of Jesus in John 8:36, "So, if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." Freedom because of the Son and works-righteousness not required.

Comforts from the Cross - Day 16

See Him!


See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know Him. -1 John 3:1

Elyse begins today with Forrest Gump reference.  Forrest is looking at his Jenny and says these words, "I may not be a smart man, Jenny, but I know what love is." Elyse says, "...in a way, he spoke for all of us. We all possess an innate awareness and understanding of love."  Most people would be able to tell you of moments they experienced and felt loved for the first time.  We know when we have been loved and times when we have felt unloved.  We even know when we have failed to love someone as we should.

"The story of redemption is, in its purest form, a love story, but it's a love story unlike anything you could ever imagine."  God's love is not like a hallmark card or a romantic movie.  It goes deeper.  It is richer. "It is love that is willing to afflict itself and its beloved for a greater good."  From yesterday's story of Lazarus, Elyse describes the love of God as a "fierce love." This fierce love was described by John in these words, "See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God;" This is not the "courtesy love" when you get off the phone with someone or the "church love" that you speak to your brother and sister in Christ on the way out the door.  Imagine the Apostle John in a public place (like a mall), you are walking and thinking that "God loves me," and you see him.  John has a huge sign in attempt to get your attention, he is jumping and yelling... "This love is the important thing about you; it changes and will change everything!" Are you happy to continue in your little musing about God's love when you could be experiencing what John so excitedly proclaims?

Fierce love left the splendor of Heaven to take on the form of baby in manger and experience the life of a man here on earth, yet without sin.  Fierce love became a man who "poured out of every drop of an eternal hell's worth of wrath upon the bloodied head of its delight, and cried, 'Father, why have you forsaken me?'" The goal of this love was for you and me to be called Sons and Daughters of God. "All this pain and grief is bent on one primary goal: your adoption and His eternal praise." Because of this love, you can have a Heavenly Father.  

John continues in 1 John 3:2-3, "Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when He appears we shall be like Him, because we shall see Him as He is. And everyone who thus hopes in Him purifies himself as He is pure."  Believers don't just experience this fierce, adopting love, but we have this incredible hope of being changed into something glorious.  John ends verse three by saying "everyone who thus hopes in Him purifies himself as He is pure."  "So much of our lives as Christians is spent in futile doubt, weak questionings, and apathetic, self-serving strategies. In part, we fail in our war for purity because we spend too much time meditating on ourselves, our work, and our growth." Our hope is often in ourselves when the verse tells us to hope in Him!

Today, I rejoice that His love bought adoption for me.  I pray I never take that love lightly or get over the fierceness of it! Elyse gives a challenge in the last paragraph, "See Him! See what your adoption cost Him. Steep your soul His desire to have you for His own, and after you have done that, pursue the purity that is a mark of this fierce love."

I will wrap this up with a thought from my childhood, I used to sing a song when I was a kid that started like this, "God loves you, you know that it's true. The story gets better I read it in a letter..."  My challenge for myself today is to read God's Word, His wonderful letter.  It shows how much God loves and how to pursue purity.  As I have grown up, the same story keeps getting better.

Comforts from the Cross - Day 15

From Suffering to Glory


Jesus said to her, "Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God? - John 11:40

Sometimes, I have questions about suffering.  I watched my Mom suffer from cancer for about a year and half. I had questions then and maybe some different ones now. When people suffer the question often asked is, "Why does God allow suffering?" Often, a short answer may be given that God allows suffering because of man's sin, but a closer look at Scripture might give a greater answer.

The passage for today is the story of Lazarus from John 11:1-44. I'm not going to give a paraphrase, because the Scripture does not need my help, but I do want to note a few interesting facts in the story.  First note, Jesus heard that Lazarus was sick and delayed two days where He was.  If He loved His friends, He should have come to their rescue right away, right? Elyse writes this, "It is obvious that Jesus' fierce love for His friends meant something different to Him than it does to us. What made Him wait?" The second thing to note is that after Lazarus had died and Jesus came to Lazarus' sisters, Martha had the answer.  "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." (v. 21).  "When we're facing the prospect of lifelong pain or the possibility of final separation from ones we love, it is easy to think that we know what would best glorify God - immediate deliverance from the problem."  (Side note - verses 25-26 are some of my personal favorites as Jesus gives these precious promises.) Then the other sister, Mary, comes to Jesus and says the same thing as Martha.  I think the story gets really good in verse 40 when Jesus speaks these words, "Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?"  Like those sisters, we often think we have the answer during suffering and instead find out that "Jesus is more interested in our eternal cure than He is in our temporal relief." 

The story of Lazarus is filled with the compassion of Christ and His love for people. He allows suffering, but not because of lack of love or compassion.  Isaiah 53 in a prophetic proclamation presents Jesus as our Suffering Servant.  He understood suffering better than you and I will ever be able to grasp. Those words don't necessarily bring comfort to the suffering that you may be experiencing today. However, this may be your opportunity to see the glory of God. I did not have a clue on that day in July of 2008 that from my Mom's suffering and death, that I would get a small glimpse of the glory of God. Does mean that I embrace and welcome suffering? Of course not, but I believe that as believers we have a unique opportunity to see the glory of God through suffering.  Trust Him today that He is working in your suffering.  He knows what will best glorify Him. "Somehow, in some way hidden to your weak eyes, your suffering is making a way for that to happen. You will see God's glory, you will begin to see Him as He is, and then you will start to understand."

Comforts from the Cross - Day 14

Glory to God Alone 

I am the LORD; that is my name; my glory I give to no other, nor my praise to carved idols.  -Isaiah 42:8

Do you know the Heavenly Father's purpose for your life? It is actually the purpose for the world - to glorify the Son. Colossians 1:18 says "...in everything, He might be preeminent." The Father uses those of us on earth to accomplish His purpose. One of the best ways we do this is when "delight in the fact that salvation is completely of the Lord, and not at all of us. Our inability to save ourselves and our utter dependence upon His grace and power exalt Him rather than us."

As I read through this book and think about the truths of God's Word, I am seeing some things that I once believed to be true about me, are not really about me at all. Elyse brings this verse in a different light, "Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance." (Luke 15:7). This verse is often used when someone accepts Christ to express the joy that takes place in Heaven. Now, I can imagine that Heaven is a place of rejoicing, I would even venture to say it is continual rejoicing. I am sure Heaven rejoices when sinners repent. That was the verse says.  However, I love the deeper truth that she pointed out, "every time one sinner repents, more praise and glory is brought to the Son. The King is being loved and glorified, and in that they rejoice."

Why have in the past I wanted to make Luke 15:7 be all about me? Whether I want to admit it or not, we are all what Paul Trip often refers to as "glory robbers." "We want a little of Christ's glory for ourselves. Jesus Christ is willing to share His righteousness with you, to impute to your record His perfect obedience. But His glory He will not share with anyone." When I attempt to rob Christ of the glory He and He only deserves, I am devaluing "His perfect work on the cross." 

How do we change our glory robbing hearts into one that worships God and God alone? Humility is the answer. Humility that comes from the Holy Spirit working in our lives. He is the One who humbles our hearts and gives us the desire to worship the Only One who is worthy to be praised. Today would be great day to begin practicing for the worship of Heaven. Revelation 7:12 tells of some of the words that will be said, "Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne and to the Lamb!"  It's all His! "His salvation is a great salvation, and He deserves to be greatly worshiped."

Comforts from the Cross - Day 13

The Joy of Obedience

For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome.  -1 John 5:3

Today, our focus and thoughts are drawn to the command of obedience once again.  Elyse writes this to begin the day, "I'll admit that obedience is not easily adopted. I, too, have thought that a life of loving obedience would be delightful, that is, until I'm confronted with the choice of giving up something that, at that moment I love more."  This verse in 1 John is actually different than how I would respond when facing moments of difficult obedience. When faced with a difficult trial and knowing that I should act in obedience to God's Word, I think the task or trial is quite burdensome. Maybe John had greater faith than I do, or maybe I need to practice joyful obedience and believe the truth of this verse!  There is a beautiful example of joyful obedience in the Old Testament. 

It is actually a really amazing love story between a guy named Jacob and a girl named Rachel.  Jacob agreed to serve Rachel's dad, Laban, for seven years in exchange for Rachel's hand in marriage.  From Jacob, we find out that the work was not an easy task, "by day the heat consumed me, and the cold by night, and my sleep fled from my eyes." (Genesis 31:40).  However, the author of Genesis writes this about Jacob's serving, "So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he had for her." (Genesis 29:20).  You may be familiar with the story and that he actually served fourteen years for Leah.  How could those years seem only like a few days? He loved her, and because he loved her the work was not burdensome.

Somewhat like Jacob, but so much greater was the love-driven obedience of our Savior.  This was envisaged in Psalm 40:8; "I delight to do your will, O my God."  "Jesus' work to obtain His bride was actually a delight to Him because of the great love He had for her." He perfectly completed the work of His Father in order to purchase His bride.  "The payment He earned was granted to us, proud self-righteous ones, who disdained Him. But he called it 'joy' because He loved. He gladly laid down His life for His bride."

We see an Old Testament example and our perfect example of Jesus showing us joyful obedience.  I think we should be able to learn from these! My desire for today is that His commandments are not burdensome, but that I can joyfully learn to to obey!  Like the words that were convicting yesterday, I obey because He loves.  I joyfully obey because He loves. 

Comforts from the Cross - Day 12

Motivated by Love

If you love me, you will keep my commandments.  -John 14:13

Everyone can probably relate to this situation as a child.  A chore or task needed to be done and your mom said something like, "Come on child, don't you love your mother? Please do what I have asked."  What motivated the obedience? Guilt.  So, our thinking goes into something like this, "I don't want my mom to think I don't love her, so I will do this." Elyse writes, "Guilt is the gift that keeps on giving." Was your mom wrong to ask you to obey, definitely not, but obedience should not be motivated by guilt. It should be motivated by love.

"It is true that the object of our love can always be detected in our behavior."  How does this apply to my love for Christ?  "If love for God is not present in our heart, then Godward obedience will be absent in our life."  Elyse wrote a statement that made me laugh, "Your Savior isn't like your mother."  He does not think of motivating you by guilt. This is one of those moments where I am amazed at how God knows us. Because He is not just our Savior, but also our Creator, He knows. "He knows our desires to obey and our shame and sadness because of our failures. But he also knows that as our love for Him grows, our obedience will grow, too." 

The key to obedience is not more self-driven effort, but a focus on Christ.  The Bible says in 1 John 4:19, "We love Him because He first loved us."  How do I cultivate loving Him? "I intently focus on His love for me more than my love for Him, more on His obedience than mine, more on His faithfulness than mine, more on His strength then mine." My mind is unable to grasp the greatness of His love, but as I see glimpses of it, I am motivated to obey.  "God's love changes people. It makes obedience attractive." 

We can talk a lot about God's love, but Satan is still at work and tempts us to doubt God's love.  Our sin at times can skew our view of God's great love for us and our actions produce disobedience. "But our Redeemer doesn't leave us there. He patiently and gently draws us back... His love is fervent, eternal, uncompromising." Today, I challenge you along with myself to rest in His love.  "Confront your own sinfulness, yes, but only after you've remembered His love for you.  Then love Him and obey."

Comforts from the Cross - Day 11

Perfected for All Time

For by a single offering He has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified. -Hebrews 10:14

"I have to admit that it's pretty difficult for me to read words such as 'perfected for all time' and have the faith to apply them to myself." If I stopped and took a look at my day or even the last hour or so, I could share with you some not-so-perfect moments.

Let's take a short look at the Hebrews, the people who this book was being written to.  They were more than familiar with the Jewish temples system, their customs, and laws.  I am sure they thought of sacrifices often, since it was required that certain sacrifices atone for certain sins.  The Hebrews also knew that sacrifices were just a temporary covering for sin, it did not remove it.  They realized that God's standard was perfection and sacrifice was the only way to atone for their failures.  Can you imagine the early believers reading Hebrews 10:14 and wondering how that would be possible?  The lived and died according to a religious system, and then came these words, "And every priest stands daily at his service, offering repeatedly the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins. But when Christ has offered for all time a single sacrifice for sins, He sat sat down at the right hand of God... For by a single offering He has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified." (Hebrews 10:11-12, 14)

For the Hebrews, these verses meant freedom from the rigorous religious laws and infinite acceptance before a Holy God.  Are theses verses as important today as they were then? Yes, but we may have a harder time accepting this truth.  The Old Testament and early New Testament believers seemed to be a little better at recognizing and confessing sin.  They had to offer a sacrifice for the forgiveness of it.  Sacrifices don't really mean much today.  I clump all my sins of today together and don't really think about how I would need to atone for them, or do I?  Maybe, I think that I can do something better tomorrow to make up for my failures of today.

The truth for the early believers is still the same truth today and one that must be said over and over until my faith and life are reflective of it.  "Jesus Christ offered one sacrifice for sin and in doing so He absolutely perfected that who are (still) being changed or sanctified."  I find great comfort in the fact that Jesus knows that I will fail each day, yet, He chose to perfect me for all time.  I like how Elyse ends the day with these words, "When we spend our days in the endless pursuit of self-improvement, we are in essence, devaluing the blood of Jesus Christ, the perfect man who is also God."

My challenge and thought for today is a simple reminder for my own life - stop making excuses for sin and trust in the blood of the Savior that has perfected for all time those being sanctified! I rejoice in that the cross was the greatest price that could have ever been paid and because of the Savior's work, I find value and worth in the cross alone. 

Today, I heard an old hymn... one of the verses has ran over and over in my head...
He breaks the power of canceled sin,
He sets the prisoner free;
His blood can make the foulest clean,
His blood availed for me.

His blood availed in that it perfected for all time those being sanctified!

Comforts from the Cross - Day 10

Not Good Enough

I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose. -Galatians 2:21

Today begins with a familiar Old Testament scene.  God made a covenant with His chosen people the Israelites, and used His servant Moses to deliver the message. "You yourselves have seen what I did to the Egyptians, and how I have bore you on eagles' wings and brought you to myself.  Now therefore, if you will indeed obey my voice and keep my covenant, you shall be my treasured possession among all peoples, for all the earth is mine; and you shall be to me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation." Exodus 19:4-6.  God declared His intention to the Israelites in these verses and put a simple qualification of obeying His voice and keeping His covenant.  A few verses later, the Israelites responded with the words, "All that the Lord has spoken we will do."  

If you remember the Israelites of the Old Testament, you will recall that they did not do all that the Lord had spoken.  One of their most famous blunders was recorded when Moses was actually on mountain getting the Law from God.  They thought a god was needed to protect them in the wilderness, so they made a golden calf, who would be "a god to go before them." (Exodus 32:1)  They still worshiped the True God, but thought they needed more.  "They wanted Him, but they wanted their idols too." Moses and Aaron, their leaders, even had stories of when they failed to keep the law.  This leads us to an important question, "Is it reasonable to assume that we'll be able to enter into God's covenant blessings by our works?" 

Paul answered this question in his letter to the Galatian church, "yet we know that a person is not justified by works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ, so we also have believed in Christ Jesus, in order to be justified by faith in Christ and not by works of the law, because by works of the law no one will be justified. I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose." Galatians 2:16, 21  The believers in Galatia had made the same mistake as the Israelites, they thought they maybe adding obedience to the law as if the work of Christ was not enough.  "They too had been deceived into thinking they they needed a bit of faith in themselves too. They didn't think they were deserting the Lord; they were just adding to their faith a touch of law keeping; a little proud self-righteousness." I like Paul's words here, he didn't sugar coat them or tell them how they could do better. He spoke truth that at times doesn't always process with our actions. "By works of the law no one will be justified."

"You see, He's gotten His chosen race, His royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession" (1 Peter 2:9) by His Son's work."  He has claimed believers as His own, so we do not nullify the grace of God by trying to obey the law.  We simply live and rejoice in grace.  You have received the righteous record of the Son of God.  God does not call us His people just to make us feel better about ourselves, but He has a purpose.  1 Peter 2:9 ends with this strong statement, "...that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light." That is why you were justified by grace, to proclaim His excellency. May today you find your joy in the truth that you belong to Him and live to bring glory to Him and Him alone. Christ died for a purpose. It is our privilege and opportunity to proclaim who He is and what He did!

Comforts from the Cross - Day 9

Consider Him

Consider Him who endured from sinners such hostility against Himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. -Hebrews 12:3

"People want to get over it (whatever it is) and they want to get over it right away." This is the nature of our world.  We have a sickness and we want to see the doctor right now, get some medicine, and move on.  Relationships end and we do whatever we can to get over it as quickly as possible.  You can see examples over and over again in your life of this idea, and we usually want to apply it to sin as well.  I hate the continual struggle with sin and have many moments where I desire immediate release from it, but sometimes God allows me to struggle.  Obviously, the writer of Hebrews knew of struggles with sin and the desire to be over it quickly, but His perspective was not like our world's.  He wrote this in Hebrews 12:1-3, "...let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted."

This passage doesn't promise that our struggle with sin will quickly go away. No, it encourages us to endure and look to Jesus as our example of endurance! "In the original language, all three times endurance has the connotation of patience, submiting to trial or waiting underneath something difficult."  We read the admonition, but why is this so difficult to practice? The nature of sin causes our struggle - we love it and we hate it, and it does not surrender without a struggle. "If this battle is so difficult, why don't we just give up? That would seem reasonble if it weren't for the Gospel! The Gospel teaches us that instead of focusing on ourselves and our closely clinging sin, we have got to focus on, to consider, Jesus!" This passage tells us that He is the founder and perfector of our faith, so as believers, we do not struggle alone with our sin.  Jesus began our faith and the Bible says that He will also complete it. We have help and hope as we battle against sin. 

Today, I rejoice in the faithfulness of Christ as He endured sin and shame to redeem sinners. "He endured hostility from the very people He has been sent to redeem so that we would know the joy of sharing His defeat of sin."  I rejoice that my faith is not dependent on me to overcome sin, but that Jesus provides what is needed to have victory over the sin that "clings so closely" each day. Today is Monday and a busy day for most people, stop for a moment and consider Jesus.  Consider the example of endurance He gave us, and strive to focus on Him as you run the race set before you!

Comforts from the Cross - Day 8

Jesus, Remember Me

And he said, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom." -Luke 23:42

"Since the beginning of time, there have only been three kinds of people." This thought sounds quite strange to open a chapter with this thought, but we have a unique opportunity to observe these three types of people in one place.  Three crosses on a hill outside the city of Jerusalem over two thousand years ago is the best illustration of these three types of people. A short account of this can be found in Luke 23:32-43.

In the story here, we see three men.  All appear to be criminals, but in actuality only two are guilty of crimes.  They seem utterly helpless, incapable of doing anything to save themselves. There is no time for apologies or a second chance.  They only experience suffering that will eventually lead to death. "This is the exact representation of the spiritual condition of everyone who has ever lived." I am classified as a guilty criminal and so are you. Unfortunately, the bondage of sin has produced suffering that will ultimately lead to death.

The criminals that day each responded differently to Jesus.  One cried out in his anger and unbelief, asking Jesus to just do something, anything to save him.  The other man cried in faith, asking for Jesus to remember him.  He knew he had violated the laws and was dying for it.  His condemnation seemed as if justice were being served.  He was correct, but little did he know that "he was about the receive the due reward for someone else's deed.  He pleads for mercy, 'Jesus, remember me.'"

Jesus is the third man. The One "who captures our attention and His presence transforms everything."  The man who cried for mercy obtained it from Jesus that day.  Jesus represents us too, but in a very unique way, before the Father. He was the only One able to save Himself.  He kept the law perfectly and is able to present those who trust in Him before the Father.  The Bible says that "He was numbered with the transgressors."  It was out of love for you and me, that He became one of us.

Today, I rejoice in the truth that Jesus became one of us, so that He could provide mercy and pardon for sin. On the cross, He did not just remember one criminal, but many.

Comforts from the Cross - Day 7

Random thought before I dive into today's reading. I have been thinking as I read about connections of each day's reading. Lots of thoughts have swirled through my head, but one that keeps coming back.  If I am proclaiming the Gospel to myself each day, what am I learning or what do I see? This is what I see: the Gospel is the answer to "self-esteem" issues.  Maybe there is a better way to say that, but I think our world is all about making me feel better about myself, while the Gospel over and over again shows me that my value and worth is found only in Christ and His work on the cross. The Bible presents me as one that does not do good, with a deceitful and wicked heart.  As a believer, the Gospel is my answer. It is the truth and nothing else is needed. So, if you are looking to become a "better person," I challenge you to look at the work of Christ. It was more than enough and when I put my faith and trust in Him, I find my identity in Him. The title of this book continues to ring true in my life, I receive comfort and hope only from the cross.

Unfazed by Grace?

The servant fell on his knees, imploring him, "Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything." -Matthew 18:26

"A life of Godliness is impossible without an awareness of lavish grace." This thought is further developed with the parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:21-34.  You should read the story, but I am going to summarize it quickly. A servant owed the king/master money, and begged for longer to pay, the king had mercy and forgave the servant all his debts.  Later, the servant who was forgiven ran across a man who owed him a small amount of money.  The second man asked for mercy and received none. The king heard that the forgiven man showed no mercy to the other.  He was outraged and in essence gave the servant what he rightfully deserved - prison, until he could pay off all his debts. (Not the best summary, read the Bible. It is so much better.)

When we read this story, it is easy to jump to conclusions and think that the forgiven man was crazy for not extending to his friend what he had been given - Mercy!  First, we need to look closely at the verse above, he asked for patience from the king until he could pay.  Not necessarily a bad thing, but many Bible study notes show that what he owed was more than anyone could pay back in a lifetime.  "This debtor thought that the way out of punishment was by working hard... In his pride, arrogance, and self-deceit, he thought his situation wasn't all that bad!" Can you imagine his surprise when the king forgave him all of his debt?  Unfortunately the story shows that the man walked away the same, "convinced of his own innate goodness and ability to deliver himself."

Elyse continues these thoughts in a statement that hammered my heart, "He had too high an opinion of himself and too low an opinion of the king.  He was unfazed by grace."  I would want to quickly say that this story is not me, but IT IS!  Each and every part.  How can I be so quick to condemn the servant when his story is mine?  This is why the challenge is "proclaim His death" each day to myself is so important.  The fact that I do not love my neighbor as myself or forgive when I have been wronged is not meant to condemn myself (like was stated yesterday), but to drive me to Jesus.  The Bible says that we fall short.  Just like the servant in the story, I could not pay my debt even with a lifetime of work. My abilities and goodness are not good enough, not even close.

So, what do I do when I am unfazed by grace? "Drench my proud, despairing, demanding soul in these words: 'Jesus died for sinners.'"  Today, I rejoice in the magnitude of what was accomplished on the cross. My debt was completely paid. I live and hope in grace - unmerited, undeserved, beautiful grace. I rejoice that He loves me in my selfishness and continues to remind me that I been forgiven and set free because of His work. 

Comforts from the Cross - Day 6

Silencing the Accuser

And I head a loud voice in heaven, saying, "Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of His Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God." -Revelation 12:10

"If you belong to Jesus today, your enemy, Satan has two goals: to remind you of your sin and to accuse you continually before God. Satan takes perverse pleasure in reminding you over and over again of your failures." Day 6 begins with these though provoking words.  Is it wrong to examine our lives for sin or ask God to reveal areas where we need to repent? Definitely not.  Those things are great and should be a part of every believers life, but Satan doesn't care or even want the Holy Spirit working in the life of the believer.  Satan's desire is for our self-condemnation, which is completely different than conviction of sin.  Elyse writes this, "He subtly, yet relentlessly reminds me of my sin, but it's not his work alone. He's working in tandem with my proud heart, a heart that wants to be free of my consciousness of sin and need for a Savior." How often am I guilty of condemning myself, and then trying to fix my sin on my own.


Conviction of sin draws me to repentance, reminds me that I have offended my King, and also grants grace that my sins are once and always forgiven. Paul's words in Romans 8:1 affirms this truth, "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Self-condemnation draws me to look at myself and when that happens Jesus is no longer preeminent and the focus is a "shattered image of myself." This is when we remember the truth of Revelation 12:11, "They have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb..." How do we silence the accuser? Not by following the law or attempting to be a good person, but because of the blood of the Lamb that was slain for sin.  This is the truth that we set our heart on and where our hope is found. This is the truth that to live out radical lives devoted only to our Savior!


Today, I rejoice that guilt and shame of sin has been once and for all forgiven because of the Lamb that was slain. Elyse concludes with this exhortation, "Be careful not to get these steps out of order in your walk today: forgiveness and full assurance of your Savior's love and grace come first, then comes the pursuit of Godliness." Are you resting in the forgiveness and assurance that comes from the Savior? He is the One who silences the accuser, and because of His work, we are free to pursue and live a life of Godliness.

Comforts from the Cross - Day 5

Cured---and Clean

His disciples said to Him, "You see the crowd pressing around you, and yet you say, 'Who touched me?'" -Mark 5:31

To have some insight into today's encouragement, you have to start with this incredible story of the woman Jesus healed in Mark 5:25-34. This woman carried the labels of unclean, defiled, and excluded from society. Under the Old Testament laws, her condition even left her isolated from her family. Verse 27 says, "She had heard the reports about Jesus and came up behind Him in the crowd and touched His garment."  She came looking for physical healing that day, but the gift she would receive was much greater than any physical healing. Jesus asked the disciples who touched Him, but I am sure He had known her name since the beginning. The woman knew she had been healed and answered the question of Jesus by coming to Him. She seems to come to Jesus in fear, yet with great faith as she falls before His feet.  Like only our precious Savior can do, He comforts her with these words, "Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace..." Jesus called her "Daughter" which is a sweet term of endearment and indicates a family relationship. I am sure she would have been happy to be made well physically that day, but Jesus came to do more than just heal.  He came to restore what has been broken since man fell into sin at the beginning.  He invited her into a relationship with Him, and invites us to do the same.  A relationship based on faith in Him - who He is and what He has done to redeem us from the defilement of sin.    

One thought that baffles my mind about this is that the woman was unclean and everyone she touched became unclean until she met Jesus.  Elyse writes, "Because Jesus is completely pure, He isn't concerned about becoming defiled by touching us. Instead He draws us near; He speaks to us in love. He sees our desperation, our bankruptcy, and our uncleanness, and He still desires a relationship." What is amazing about Jesus is that as we draw closer to Him, it is actually His holiness that infects you and me!

As I have pondered these thoughts, a song came to mind by Matthew Smith titled Redeemed, Restored, Forgiven. I can imagine this woman that was healed would have related perfectly to the second verse of this song.  I know its truth is something my thankful heart should sing every day!

Once on a dreary mountain
We wandered far and wide,
Far from the cleansing fountain
Far from the pierced side
But Jesus sought and found us
And washed our guilt away
With cords of love He bound us
To be His own today

Chorus:
Redeemed, restored, forgiven
Through Jesus' precious blood
Heirs of His home in heaven
Oh, praise our pardoning God

Dear Lord receive the glory
Of each recovered soul
Oh who can tell the story
Of love that made us whole?
Not our, not ours, the merit
Be Yours alone the praise
And ours a thankful spirit
To serve You all our days

Now keep us, holy Savior
In Your true love and fear
And grant us by Your favor
The grace to persevere

Till in Your new creation
When Earth meets Heaven's shore
We find our full salvation
And praise You evermore

Comforts from the Cross - Day 4

Dead to the Law

Likewise, my brothers, you also have died to the law through the body of Christ, so that you may belong to another, to Him who has been raised from the dead, in order that we may bear fruit for God. -Romans 7:4

"Because we are dead, the law no longer has any power over us." Do we really believe this truth? Dead to the law means that you belong to someone else - Jesus Christ, who defeated death and the law for you and me.  However, if I still try to live as though I am under the law, I miss the opportunity to bear fruit for God.  Elyse uses the example of the Pharisees in the New Testament.  These people were great keepers of the law, but what did they produce? Not fruit unto God. Their slavery to the law lead to envy, hatred, evil ambition, and unbelief. "People who are intent on obeying the law as a way to earn favor with God will always end up judging, envying, and hating God and others (Galatians 5:14, 25-26)."

The plea here is not to be obedient because of the law or to earn the favor and love of God. The Father already loves us! He proved that by sending Jesus. The desire should be to bear fruit so that others are irresistibly drawn to Christ. So today, we remember and rejoice that we no longer belong to the law, but to Another! Because Jesus perfected you in eternity and His saving grace has been extended even now, our desire should be to follow after the command of Jesus in Matthew 5:16, "...let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven." Bearing fruit for God, to give glory to our Father in Heaven because of His great love.

Comforts from the Cross - Day 3

Presented in Splendor

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word, so that He might present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. -Ephesians 5:25-27

The focus of today is not on the fact that husbands should love their wives as is often taught in theses verses (I have no authority to speak on that), but the emphasis is on what Christ did for the church in order for us to be presented in splendor, without spot or wrinkle, holy and blameless.  These words gripped my heart, "He fell as a sinner (though he was innocent) into the hands of the living God. Consider the power of the love that motivated Him to intentionally plunge Himself into a fiery furnace that burned with relentless wrath, bearing in a few short hours an infinity of hellish misery."  He was faithful to accomplish this terrible, unimaginable wrath to redeem us to be His bride.  Not only did He accomplish the work the Father set out for Him, but also took the responsibility to clothe His redeemed. Isaiah 61:10 shares this truth, "He has clothed me with the garments of salvation; He has covered me with the robe of righteousness,..." He presented us, His imperfect bride, with the most perfect wedding garment, a robe of righteousness!

Instead of recognizing the words as truth and rejoicing in this work of Christ, it is still easy to compare ourselves to others.  I see the ugliness of pride and selfishness in my life and can only imagine that God is disappointed in me and my sin. Then, I compare myself to others and hope that I am not as defiled as they are.  Yes, we should feel shame and repent over our sin, but after repentance our thoughts should be replaced.  "Christ gave Himself up for our disgrace. His blood has washed away all our impurity. He has presented you to Himself 'in splendor'"  As a little girl, I loved to played dress up with my friends. It was always fun to visit my friends, because they had the better dress up stuff. When we are clothed with the righteousness of Christ, we are not playing dress up with a borrowed wardrobe - It is yours! "He has made you holy - spirit, soul, and body in order to present you in splendor." The garments of righteousness have already been placed on you and today we can rejoice and celebrate that this is who we are in Christ. Not because of anything that I have done, but because Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her!   

Comforts from the Cross - Day 2

No More Wrath

For the law brings wrath, but where there is no law there is no transgression. Romans 4:15

Questions for thought: "Do you think God gets mad at you? Can you picture him saying, 'You're really in trouble now!'? Do you think He's a demanding, impatient, angry Father just waiting for an opportunity to punish you?"

Maybe there were moments in your past where a parent would be angry with you because you violated their rules. With violation of the rules, comes guilt, shame, and fear of punishment. (Trust me, I was the kid who violated many rules.)  This is not the case for those who have trusted in Christ.  Elyse writes this, "because Jesus Christ perfectly obeyed every facet of the law in your place and then died bearing all the guilt and wrath that was rightfully yours, you are no longer obligated to obey the law as a way to avoid His wrath." Jesus took our wrath and abolished the law by His death on the cross!! No more wrath for those who have trusted in Christ.  This is where my favorite part comes in, Elyse calls it "gospelized obedience."  We obey in response to God's love and grace being poured out in our lives. "All other obedience degenerates into penance or trying to avoid punishment... It seems upside down to say that God motivates our obedience by freeing us from law and declaring that He has no wrath left for us, but it's true, and true faith embraces it." I am once again amazed by the work of Christ that He took the wrath and motivates my obedience - His plan and His work.

Today, I rejoice in the words of Romans 5:1, "Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ." The Gospel is true, the righteousness of Christ is mine, and our God is that good. No more wrath.  Peace with God because of Jesus.

Comforts from the Cross - Day 1

I bought a new book called Comforts from the Cross by Elyse M. Fitzpatrick. The book's subtitle is Celebrating the Gospel One Day at a Time.  I wasn't exactly sure what I was getting into when I started reading, but decided maybe to blog through the book.  It is a really a 30 devo-type book. I haven't used something like this in a long time, but I like what I am reading so wanted to share.

Day 1 - Celebrate Jesus
As often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until He comes. 1 Corinthians 11:26

She talks about celebrating communion in the church to remember Jesus. I agree wholeheartedly that I am grateful my church celebrates communion to help me remember as I often forget.  So for day 1, the admonition is to celebrate Jesus! How easy it is to speak about Jesus in random moments in everyday life, but to celebrate Jesus rarely happens in my life.  Elyse asks this question, "Does it seem as though the story of Christ's life, death, and resurrection are cherished truths yet disconnected from daily life?" It is so much easier to focus on my own issues and things in my world and completely forget who Jesus is and what He has done for my life. 

It is actually easier to focus on my Christianity than to think of Jesus. I was convicted by these words... "Today isn't about me at all. It's about Him: His sinless life, death, resurrection, ascension, and reign and the sure promise of His return. It's the gravity of His life that should attract my thought toward Him." Elyse's admonition for my self-centered Christianity would be to preach the Gospel to myself today and every day! I need to celebrate the Gospel! We need to celebrate the Gospel! "He died for your sin, He is ruling sovereignly over every facet of your life, and soon He will return to right every wrong and relieve you of your trouble."

For the next 30 days and beyond, my prayer is that I will learn to celebrate Jesus and the Gospel in my life. He who gave me His righteousness is most worthy to be celebrated!

29 Things

Today is my 29th birthday! Craziness. I decided it would be a good time to start blogging again. My Mom used to write these verses on everything she wrote to my brother and myself, "Moreover, as for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD by ceasing to pray for you, and I will instruct you in the good and the right way. Only fear the LORD and serve Him faithfully with all your heart, for consider what great things He has done for you." (1 Samuel 12:23-24)

So, today, I am stopping to consider and because I like numbers, here are my 29 things (in no particular order.)

1. A job that gives me the opportunity to work with and serve people.  I love it and look forward to work each day.
2. My little brother who has been so annoying and so wonderful in my life. I love you Jimbo and my heart is truly grateful for you.
3. Lessons learned from my Mom and Dad.  The more I reflect, the more I see things that they taught me with their words and actions. The Word of God is powerful to me, because their lives reflected their belief in the powerful Word!
4. Aunts who have been like extra Moms to me throughout my life and even more so now. Y'all have invested in me in incredible ways. You are my Philippians 1:3 people.
5. Things that I have needed that God has given me through other people.  I have prayed for many material items and God has provided.  This is a good reminder that what I have is not mine, but all belongs to Him. He graciously provides His children with good things! 
6. Music that speaks truth to my heart even when it is convicting.  I have been introduced to a whole lot of new things lately! I am grateful for that! 
7. My church family.  You have truly been my family for the past 8 years.  My time in Memphis would not have been near as wonderful without you.
8. A best friend, Amanda, who shares in my joys, sorrows, and everyday life. My heart is attached to yours. You are truly a blessing from the Lord! 
9. No matter how old I get, I am grateful that God has blessed me with Darryl, the older brother. Every girl needs a guy who has their back, can beat up the bullies, give you a hard time, and love you just the same.  You rock my big bro, through the good times and bad! Thanks for being a constant in my life.
10. The guys I work with, you make fun of me, you challenge me with theology, and so much more.  I love the opportunity I have to serve Jesus with you.
11. Coffee. Enough said.
12. My roomie, Teri, you have been such a faithful friend and I feel like life has taken us some crazy places.  Because of you, I have laughed a ton, tried to do pushups, and so many other crazy things! I am grateful God has brought us together once again and for your sweet friendship.
13. 3 Kids who call me Aunt Sha (or Shawna).  When everything else in life is crazy, you are a sweet reminder that being a kid is fun and something we should all enjoy from time to time.  Y'all make me smile.
14. My roomie, Darlene! I know it took forever for me to say ok, we can be roomies! How you have blessed my life! I love our crazy "intentional" conversations.  Your love for people and your sweet Spanish skills inspire me! 
15. For the joy of having a Godly Mom for the first 27 years of my life.  She was my best friend, mentor, confidant, and so much more. My heart is forever knit with hers.  I still thank God for her impact in my life. My heart misses her everyday, especially on the special days!
16. Peanuts comics. They have made me laugh for many years. Lucy will always be my favorite. She makes me smile, "That'll be 5 cents please."
17. My adopted Silas family. You love me like I belonged to you. I appreciate you more than words could ever express. I'm happy being Shawntrice to y'all! 
18. The opportunity to serve Jesus overseas on some incredible Mission Trips.  My life has been impacted forever because of what I have seen and experienced.  I pray I never get over how my life has been blessed, not just because I live in America, but I have the joy of having a relationship with Jesus. 
19. My Dad. Yes, he is my hero and example. I want to love Jesus as much as He does. He has me taught so much. My heart is overwhelmed. I am happy to be his "little girl."  (some petnames never go away.)
20. My iPhone. No, it is not idolatry, but only righteous love for this wonderful technology.  It also makes me life more organized. This is a very good thing.
21. My sister-in-law, Becky. Thank you for loving an annoying middle schooler. I'm glad I outgrew those "awkward years" and we can now be friends. My brother, niece, and nephews are blessed to have you!
22. Salvation. I am still grasping the magnitude of this gift! 
23. A precious person in my life named Kimberly. You are my favorite for so many reasons. I have loved you for 7 years. Thanks for hanging with an "old person." 
24. A Godly heritage passed on from my Grandparents and Parents. I pray I never get over this blessing. 
25. The opportunity to meet with Student Ministry Girls and just talk about Jesus. I get so excited about you learning and when I see what you are learning put into practice in your life. Continually amazed at God's work in you.
26. My ESV study Bible. The Word of God is living and powerful in my life. I am so grateful!
27. I have had the opportunity to work with Life Choices as a volunteer. It has been a bigger blessing to me than I could ever contribute. Thank you for encouraging ladies to choose life for their unborn babies.
28. A certain guy who has captured my heart! I am so grateful to God for you!
29. My adopted church "nieces and nephews."  Each week you bring a smile to my face as I enjoy your sweet hugs and crazy questions.  I get excited that you already know so much about Jesus and have Godly moms and dads who desire for you to know truth! Amazing kiddos you will grow up to be!

There could be so many more! So excited God has blessed with 29 years and cannot wait to see what He has planned! His ways are so much higher than mine!

I Missed You Today...

Actually, I miss my Mom everyday, but especially today. I saw my dear friend open baby shower gifts for her precious little boy as her Mom sat beside her on the couch and smiled along with her and I hurt. To the deepest part of my heart, I hurt. I thought about how Mom wouldn't sit beside me and smile. There will be someone beside me, but it won't be her. She will miss out on getting to know the man I am going to marry and the children I will one day have. Or maybe it is the other way around. I will miss getting to introduce her to some Godly man who has captured my heart and my children will miss knowing their sweet Grandma. But right now, I miss her. I think about her everyday wondering what joys she is experiencing in Heaven and how cancer no longer has control in her body. Scripture continues to remind me of her. I read Romans 5:1-5 to my Sunday School Girls this morning.
I'm attached to this new Phil Wickham song called Safe ---

To the one who's dreams are falling all apart
And all you're left with is a tired and broken heart
I can tell by your eyes you think your on your own
but you're not all alone

Have you heard of the One who can calm the raging seas
Give sight to the blind, pull the lame up to their feet
With a love so strong and never let you go
oh you're not alone

You will be safe in His arms
You will be safe in His arms
'Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart
This is the promise He made
He will be with You always
When everything is falling apart
You will be safe in His arms

Did you know that the voice that brings the dead to life
Is the very same voice that calls you to rise
So hear Him now He's calling you home
You will never be alone

These are the hands that built the mountains
the hands that calm the seas
These are the arms that hold the heavens
they are holding you and me

These are hands that healed the leper
Pulled the lame up to their feet
These are the arms that were nailed to a cross
to break our chains and set us free

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! -Psalm 34:8

To Kimberly on Your Graduation Day

Did you want to know my favorite thing about today was? You. Never before had I enjoyed the honor and privilege of seeing a 7th Grade Girl Graduate, but wait, you are not a 7th Grader anymore. You are a beautiful, amazing High School Senior/Graduate who is entering the world with a heart full of dreams. Allow me just for a moment to reflect on 5 or so years and what makes this day so special.

Did you know that you were the most annoying 7th Grader ever? Maybe not ever, but you annoyed me so much that it left an impression. I think you probably only owned basketball shorts during that time. That's what I remember, this athletic middle school student who was always around. I think in Middle School you were the most faithful to Student Ministry events. Who knew your faithfulness would carry over into so many of the things you do?

Did you know that the emo/punk look wasn't really you? You tried, there is too much joy in your life and the smiles and laughs come so often, there is no way that is you! I think during that time you learned to love all types of people. You never judged because someone was different, you just reached out as a friend. Who knew that so many people would be impacted because you became their friend?

Did you know that your guitar lessons were not just for you? With learning and your God-given talent, you became a part of something bigger than guitar lessons. People were able to see you worship Jesus in Spirit and Truth. You were set apart for a unique service and that continues to this day. Who knew your guitar would be an instrument that would bring great glory to God.

Did you know that every time you ask a Bible question, my heart would be so joyful? You have this crazy passion and desire to learn. This makes me rejoice. Who knew a 17 year old could care so much about living a holy life?

I have never seen it before and not sure when it will happen again. You are a unique masterpiece; created by God to serve and glorify Him. And you are. Are you perfect? Not even close, but you continue to try. I get excited to answer your text messages, to meet with you and find out what God is doing in your life. Do you know that sometimes when you do not even realize that He is working, He is. He is fashioning your life into something amazing and He is doing it a little a time. This causes all of us who know and love you to step back and be amazed at God's Work.

Your graduation day was special for me because I got to be a part. I have seen you grow and mature not just outside, but inside as well. You have reached an important milestone in your life and I am so proud. Not just of what you have accomplished, but what you have become. You love Jesus so much, your classmates even recognized that. Your day was special because your parents have worked hard, invested time, and love you so deeply. Your day was special because we laughed at a crazy waitress, enjoyed some Starbucks, and I stayed away for "teaching mode." For just a moment, we enjoyed today. That's what made today special.

You are the closest thing I have to a little sister. It is my joy and privilege to be a part of your life.

Did you know eating cheese pizza with someone can change your life? Who knew? Now, I do.

A New Mother's Day

I took tulips to the cemetery for Mom yesterday. I cried a lot. I've cried everyday for the past 4 days. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day. Not sure I could let today get away without sharing something.

I've been thinking of the blessing I have received from having Godly parents and even though my Mom is gone, I continue to learn from her. Here's what I realized today and hope that I have the opportunity to pass on to my children someday. Dad is the smart theologian, knows God's Word, every Old Testament Bible story, and the opposing sides of a theological debate. I love it that he has this kind of knowledge. It gives way for some interesting conversations. He has this incredible love for learning that I believe He has passed on to me. When it comes to theological things, he is not really every surprised. He has heard it before, has an opinion, and is willing to listen to me. I love these conversations... a lot!

Mom was a little different in the way that she just simply loved the Bible. She knew the stories like Dad, but had a more practical side of reading the Word. I remember coming across passages of Scripture and being encouraged, impressed, or challenged. Of course, she had read the Scripture passage many times; the interesting thing was that she had a story or time in her life when that part of God's Word was especially real to her and how God had spoken to her through His Word. I remember reading Romans 5 after she got cancer and she told me about a specific time in college. It was incredible. The last time I was in Brazil, we read it everyday and then had some great conversation about it when I returned home. Another time, she challenged me to memorize the book of Philippians. She quoted it much better than I ever could, and so many of the verses had been a special part of her life.

So, what's the point? I said all of that to say this, what I realized today. Dad gave me my love for learning and theological study; Mom gave me a love for God's Word. They were working together to teach me and I had no idea, maybe they did. Not sure. This Mother's Day, I am extremely thankful. I hope that someday I have the privilege to teach my children what has been passed down to me.

Hear, my son, your father's instruction,
and forsake not your mother's teaching,
for they are a graceful garland for your head
and pendants for your neck.
Proverbs 1:8-9

Some Random...

I think it is time for another bullet point post:

• I'm tired and craving some silence and solitude. I'm thankful that God still speaks in the chaos of life. In times like this, I realize the great joy that comes from His Word.
  
• I miss Mom. It feels like yesterday, it feels like years. My heart has a void.
  
• A student God has placed in my life has been a great source of encouragement. Kimberly and I have met, studied God's Word, and hung out for about 5 years now. She is getting ready to graduate High School. She is amazing. God has already done some incredible things in her life and I know the future looks promising. What a blessing she has been to me! I'm so proud of her.
  
• Got to lead a lady to Christ during EE last night. It was different. She was so focused even though there were so many distractions. So thankful for the work of the Holy Spirit drawing people to the Savior.
  
• Still reading through the Old Testament. I love the different perspective that it has on God and his relationship with Israel. One thing I have seen lately, I serve a God who keeps His promises. How comforting. How encouraging.
  
• My dad is preaching on Sunday. I've already heard a little of his message. It's like I am the practice run before He preaches. Some things never change. I probably need to hear it twice.
  

Reading in 1 Corinthians to get through my Bible reading in a year, I read this morning, "For he who was called in the Lord as a slave is a freedman of the Lord. Likewise he who was free when called is a slave of Christ. You were bough with a price, do not become slaves of men." Never thought I would enjoy being a slave, but would not trade anything in this world for the opportunity of serving Jesus.

To My Sweet Arkansas Family

I just returned from a few days in Arkansas. When I was a teenager and even in my early 20's, I couldn't really stand going to Arkansas or being there. It was like some kind of obligation. Thankfully as time progresses, I've grown up and don't feel that way anymore. So, I thought I would share how I feel about my family (immediate and extended) who I get to see when I am Arkansas.

Even though it is not my home there anymore, you make me feel right at home. You invite me to come, kick off my shoes, and stay awhile. You care more about my life than most would even venture to ask. You celebrate the little joys in my life and are so excited about what the future holds. You ask questions, sometimes you are nosy, but I think it is just because you care more than most. You are a safe place for me, where I don't have to worry about what I might say or how I look. You think I am beautiful all the time and you tell me so. You allow me to talk freely and openly about ministry, but never ask me to minister in a specific situation. However, you minister to me. I am served and loved in the most incredible ways. The little things you do bring me great joy. You recharge me and encourage me. You notice little things and listen to my stories, but most of all you just let me be me. Thanks for understanding when I want to be alone and when I can stay awake till 1 am talking about everything. Thank you for saying sweet things about my Mom and helping me remember things about her. Thank you for already knowing the things I like and enjoy without me even saying a word. Thank you for making me laugh and laughing at me when I say or do something stupid. Thank you for reminding how blessed I truly am with an incredible family. Thank you for sacrificing your time for me, your investment in my life has not gone unnoticed. You remind me of Philippians 1. I do thank my God with every remembrance of you, and I hold you deeply in my heart.

Just in case you didn't realize or I failed to tell you, You are my favorite thing about coming home.

8 Months

I have a lot to write, but tonight I'm just thinking about 8 months that have passed since Mom went to rest in the presence of our Savior. Lately, I have been missing little things about her. The way she responded to certain situations, her pancakes, phone calls, and hearing her voice. Her voice is still in my head. It will probably never go away and I'm just fine with that. I was reading today in John 16 when Jesus tells His disciples that He would be going away. He told them that they would sorrow for awhile, but then rejoice and when they would come to Him, no one would be able to take away their rejoicing. (my paraphrasing) That is exactly how I feel concerning missing Mom. I know that our sorrow and rejoicing seem to have their roller coaster moments, but when we are reunited and experiencing Jesus and the joys of Heaven, it delights my heart to know that the joy of Jesus will never be taken away. How I long to live in light of eternity!

I love Hebrews 12:2, "for the joy that was set before Him, he endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."

Giving up dessert for Lent...

Another year, another Lenten season. I'm still Southern Baptist and sometimes I wonder if it would be helpful for us to celebrate something such as this. I did not participate in Fat Tuesday, although I thought some pancakes would be delicious. Ash Wednesday came and went for me. I have the need to confess my sins everyday and have an amazing High Priest who serves as a mediator to God on my behalf. Yesterday I listened to an Ash Wednesday service podcast. My thinking and views of Lent have changed.

Most people give up something and play this card, "I'm giving up chocolate for Jesus. I get to experience His sufferings by suffering without chocolate for 40 days." It made me sad that I could compare giving up something so insignificant to His great sufferings. The Bible says in Isaiah 53, "But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed." No way in the world could giving up chocolate, caffeine, desserts or any other thing compare to Him being wounded, crushed, and beaten.

This year I've given up eating dessert, not so in the end I can say "Woohoo, I gave up dessert for Jesus." No, I'm giving up something I enjoy with a desire to focus my heart and mind on the greatest event that ever was or ever will be in human history. For believers nothing of this world should have control over your life, but Jesus. I'm focusing on some inward changes in my life as well, which I may blog about if God gives me some victory in this area. I want to be excited about Easter. We countdown to Christmas and make it a huge deal, but Easter suddenly comes on us and we go into superspiritual mode. My desire is to be ever mindful of His death and resurrection. This event changed my life forever and has taken a fallen human and gave the promise and hope of eternal life. This is cause for celebration and reflection, more than just one Sunday of the year.

Sorta an update

I've been far too busy to blog. I cannot tell you how many people God has put in my path lately and given incredible opportunities to minister. I pick people over blogging any day. Here's what has been on my mind lately: modesty. How can I convey this to the girls that God puts in my life? Amy, the girl that I teach with, said something that got me thinking even more about it yesterday. Modesty is defined by our culture and not by truths of God's Word. Modesty during the time of your Mom or Grandma is different than how people view it now. What exactly am I going to do about it? I have a few ideas. I think you have to teach parents and daughters, not just daughters. Dads should be involved in the modesty of the females in the family. I'll keep you posted, as I am excited about this new challenge.

Something I've always wanted to do...

January is Sanctity of Human Life Month. I read an interesting blog about this situation today. On Saturday, I got to do something for someone else concerning this situation. The Student Ministry Girls hosted a Baby Shower for Life Choices of Memphis. It was amazing. I love that it is not all about me and what I can do, but about doing something for someone else. This organization is incredible and to be able to minister to them in this small way impacted me greatly. I love it when I get an opportunity to do something I have always wanted to do. As the shower ended, I kept thinking that I was walking away empty-handed, but with such gratefulness and gratitude for the gift and joy of life.

Reading

I made some goals for this coming year. One started because of a wonderful Christmas gift I received, an ESV journaling Bible. (I'm a big fan of the ESV, as you may already know.) In this awesome Bible, it has a reading plan to read the OT through once, the NT twice, and Psalms twice. It sounded like a great plan to me, so I dove in on January 1. So far, so good. Here's the thing that I have been thinking about, I love to read blogs, especially about other people's lives. I get drawn into their story whether good or bad. As I have been reading through the book of Genesis, these stories are so interesting. Some of them are way out there and you just read thinking, "No way in the world could that happen." Others are so miraculous and shows how God was actively involved in His creation from the beginning. And there is God's promises that have been fulfilled for a few thousand years, it is amazing. So, what's the point? I want to read God's Word the way I read blogs, with a desire to see the new adventures that He had planned for His people. I was convicted a few months ago about reading the Bible because it is the desire of my heart and not an obligation. I do so many things in my life because I enjoy it or desire to do that. So, it has produced a goal for 2009, to read because knowing God and His Word is the desire of my heart. Some days, it is not my desire, but most days I am learning to open the Word with anticipation knowing that my Heavenly Father desires to speak to me.

17 years ago today...

I asked Jesus into my heart. I was 10 and didn't have a huge grasp on what I was doing, but believed His Word that says, "If you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved." I love that salvation is available for all and even a child can receive it. I love that our salvation is still taking place as we are sanctified more and more to be like Christ. I love the blessed hope that one day our salvation will be complete. My mom lead me to Jesus. That should come as no surprise. She played a huge role in shaping my spiritual life and being one of the godliest examples in my life. Her example still inspires me today and hopefully for the rest of my life.

We had a beautiful Christmas. I loved that so many were praying for us. I got to feel a small touch of how God comforts His children. I've been amazed by the name "Immanuel" this Christmas season. Scripture says that it means "God with us." I'm so thankful that we are able to experience God with us more than 2000 years after He came to this earth.

17 years ago today I asked Jesus to come live in my heart. I am so thankful for that day.

Happy Birthday Mom!

To Mom on your 64th Birthday:

Sixty-four years ago today you entered the world and I am so thankful for your day of birth. About five months ago, God chose to take you home to be with Him. I am trying to learn to be thankful for that day although it broke my heart deeper than it had ever been. I have been trying to imagine Heaven for the past few months and cannot comprehend. I think of you every day and try to do things like you would do them, although my cooking experiences still leave much to be desired. I am thankful for your relationship with Dad for over 40 years and how I continue to learn from it. Your kids have done their best to take care of Dad. He is a strong man with great faith, although he sometimes gets lonely without you.
I think of you everytime I am around your grandkids. I hope God allows you to see them a little bit. They are growing so fast and I cannot help but think of how much you adored them. I cannot wait to tell my children about you someday. I have so many great things to share.
I cannot help but think of you being with Jesus. I wonder if you would tell us that it is better than you could have imagined. I keep thinking of the part of the song from "O Come All Ye Faithful" that says, "For He Alone is Worthy." You lived your life like that and I am sure you are getting to see that first hand.
My heart misses you more than words can express. I saw what I thought would have been the best Christmas card for you the other day, had a few tears in Hallmark. You would've understood. I miss my Mom and I also miss my dear friend. You were the best and will always have a piece of my heart.

Until We Meet Again,
Shawna Joy

Happy Thanksgiving!

I might love this day more than any other, although the rolls that I made did not rise. Three things that I am thankful for, they have been on my mind all week. The top 3 for this year if you will:

1. My Mom is no longer suffering from the horrible effects of cancer.
2. God allows our faith to be shaken and stirred, not to harm us, but to show us how dependent we are on Him. Faith comes from Him and Him alone.
3. God Word, the Bible, has proven to be such a comfort and encouragement to me this year. When I read the pages, I see that God's Word is so alive and relevant for me. It has proven to be a true help and comfort, more than any other book or words that have been shared with me. I am so thankful for the words of peace and promise.

I encourage you to read Isaiah 12. It is a beautiful hymn of Thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Some randoms...

It is the week of Thanksgiving! It may be my favorite holiday. It is definitely in close contention with Valentine's Day. Imagine a single girl saying that, I love Valentine's Day because of about a zillion wonderful memories. I remember a lot of them better than I have remembered most Christmases. Here's some things on my mind:

• I'm tired of hearing about the movie Twilight. I am totally against it for a lot of reasons. I am sad that believers will take their children to see this movie. I hate it that the things of this world can have such a huge impact on the lives of believers.
  
• I'm excited for a new president although I did not vote for him. I believe it is a big step for our country and I pray that his presidency will break down some racial barriers that are still prevalent in our world today, especially in my city. I believe that Christians have a responsibility to pray and support whoever God allows to serve in the office of the President.
  
• Speaking of authority, I am struggling with some thoughts. We are finishing up with students in Colossians. Colossians 3 speaks of submission, first concerning wives to husbands, then children to parents, and finally employees to employers. I agree with how we respond to these relationships show our submission to God, but there is more. I think it is easy for men to preach that women should be in submission and I agree that it should be preached on. However, many men I encounter devalue women in the process of speaking on submission. If a man desires a woman to submit to him, treat her with care and respect. She is valuable in the eyes of God and should be given the same consideration in the eyes of man. (Disclaimer: This was not a problem in the preaching in my church, but some comments were made following the message.)
  

That's enough for tonight. Lots of controversial stuff anyways. I will write this week of the things I am thankful for, I can think of three that top the list.

With a heart of thanksgiving,
Shawna

Two Bracelets

I've been in the blogging mood lately, but have been too tired or busy to blog. I took this picture the other day.
If you see me on any given day, you would probably see these as well. I started wearing the gold and pearl bracelet on August 1 or so. It is a Heaven bracelet and can be purchased here. The idea of the bracelet is taken from Revelation 21:21, " And the twelve gates were twelve pearls, each of the gates made of a single pearl, and the street of the city was pure gold, transparent as glass." It is a visual reminder to me of the beauty of Heaven and the people and treasure that await for those that know Jesus. I started wearing the green and silver bracelet around the first of September in honor of Ovarian Cancer Awareness month. The same lady who made the Heaven bracelet made a the Ovarian Cancer bracelet to my specifications.

These are two things that I cherish, not because of their value, but because of what they represent. I love that I know I will see my Mom again and enjoy eternity with her. Ovarian Cancer is a silent, but deadly cancer and much awareness and research has been done for early detection and a cure. Greater advancements need to be made before more ladies suffer from this deadly disease. I wear these bracelets in honor and in memory of my mom. My life was impacted by her for 27 years and she still continues to influence my thoughts and life even though she is away from my presence for a short time.

How to Continue

1 Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. -Romans 5:1-5

These were mine and Mom's verses that we read while I was on Mission Trip to Brazil in 2007. I would read them over and over again in Brazil, knowing that Mom was back home battling cancer. She was reading them daily as well in an effort to continue to fight. We knew that the outcome would produce something that would bring hope in our lives and glorify God.

What I have been struggling with is how to take the God things that we did together and continue these practices in my life. I could always share Scripture with her that had made an impact in my life and she would want to read it. She would often tell me a story from her past and how those Words had served as encouragement or provided conviction in her life.

For the last few months or so before she passed away and was able to talk on the phone, we would pray together each evening. We had three things that had to be included in our prayer:

• Give thanks to God for one person who had been a blessing to us that day.
• Give thanks for one thing that God had blessed us with that day.
• Pray for someone who was going through a more difficult time than us.

I remember the prayers so vividly and the people that God had allowed to cross our paths during that day. I remember the hurting people that God had placed in my life and ministry and how Mom would carry that burden with me.

So, what I am trying to figure out is how to continue to live out this legacy of faith that she has passed on to me. It is not the same since I don't have her to share it with me, but I am certain that she would not want me to stop praying specificially or getting excited about God's Word, even though I cannot tell her about it. This is obviously not a problem, but a good thing as I am being challenged to continue on in what I have been taught and know to be true.

3 Months Update

Yesterday was three months since my Mom experienced her Heavenly treasure. I wish I could say my family is doing great and things are moving along quite well. I can say that most of the time my family is doing great and things are moving along quite well, but we have our moments. One thing about this time that has been so crazy for me is the lessons that I am learning. Often, I feel like I get a new lesson each week. God knows I could not handle too much at once, so I think that is obviously the point of showing something new each week. The biggest thing that I have seen in the past few days is that how one deals with the death of a loved one is significantly related to the faith of the one who passed away and the one left behind. This may not seem like a big deal, but it has been a big deal to me because I have actually seen it. I've encountered people in the last 3 months who have struggled with a death as a nonbeliever or as a relatively new Christian and it is interesting to see how difference their experience has been. My grief has been so real, but the hope that I have in Christ has been so much greater. Christ is the true foundation of my faith and my faith being shaken has not changed that in the least bit. The Word has been the biggest comfort to me, even more than the sweet words of some people or having my family by my side.
Of course, there is much more, but that is going to be it for now. God has been so faithful. I have been listening to a CD by Jami Smith called "Faith in You." It is amazingly honest. Life is changing for the better I believe, I am reading a ton and I love it. So many great books, so little time.
Of all the lessons I have learned, the thing that comes to me over and over again is that God is an ever-present friend. Oh how we need Him.

One More Week of Waiting

I preordered this months ago and cannot wait for it to come out.

I love a good Study Bible, and am sure that this will be my favorite cause the ESV is my preferred translation. You can check it out here and even order one for yourself.

Happy Rainy Tuesday!

You are Everything

I realized that my blog was starting to depress even me. So many good things are going on in my life. This is quickly becoming my new favorite song:

You Are Everything - Matthew West

I’m the one with two left feet
Standing on a lonely street
I can’t even walk a straight line
And every time you look at me
I’m spinning like an autumn leaf
Bound to hit bottom sometime
Where would I be without someone to save me
Someone who won’t let me fall

You are everything that I live for
Everything that I can’t believe is happening
You’re standing right in front of me
With arms wide open
All I know is
Every day is filled with hope
You are everything that I believe for
And I can’t help but breathe you in
Breathe again
Feeling all this life within
Every single beat of my heart
I’m the one with big mistakes
Big regrets and bigger breaks
Than I ever care to confess
Oh but, You’re the one who looks at me
And sees what I was meant to be
More than just a beautiful mess

You are everything that I live for
Everything that I can’t believe is happening
You’re standing right in front of me
With arms wide open
All I know is
Every day is filled with hope
You are everything that I believe for
And I can’t help but breathe you in
Breathe again
Feeling all this life within
Every single beat of my heart

You’re everything good in my life
Everything honest and true
And all of those stars hanging up in the sky
Could never shine brighter than You
You are everything that I live for
Everything that I can’t believe is happening
You’re standing right in front of me
With arms wide open
All I know is
Every day is filled with hope
You are everything that I believe for
And I can’t help but breathe you in
Breathe again
Feeling all this life within
Every single beat of my heart
You are
You are
Jesus, You are
You are everything

Another musical thing that I ran across that was incredible was this interview with Lecrae and Mark Driscoll. I saw Lecrae in concert a few months ago. He is definitely the real deal and even calls Memphis home.

2 months

It has been two months today since Mom got a better offer to leave all earthly cares behind for brighter Home. In some ways, my heart is completely empty as I think about her not being here, and in other ways, I have never been so loved by a Heavenly Father and my family. I read from one of her books on the morning before she went to be with Jesus that afternoon. It is a quote from Spurgeon, "Many men owe the grandeur of their lives to their tremendous difficulties." We have experienced the difficulties and we are seeing glimpses of the grandeur. We have mostly seen God glorified. God took my Mom so that He could be glorified. No other reasons, but His glory. This is one of many lessons I am trying to grasp.

Mom's Ring

Sometimes I wear my Mom's mothers ring. It has the birthstones of all 5 of our family members on it. Her birthstone is blue and it is in the middle. When I know that I am going to have a tough day I wear it. I don't need a reminder of her, everything reminds me of her. When I look at it, I am reminded of her strength and courage when facing tough situations. I want to be like her. I want to be strong and courageous, but often I feel weak and helpless. This month has been so hard. The missing her doesn't seem to go away, some days it is greater than others. I think that I wasn't through needing her yet, but God chose to take her. I am thankful that she is free from suffering and pain. I just wasn't ready to be without her. I miss that she listened better than anyone else. I miss her voice on the phone. I miss knowing whenever I went home, she would be there. I miss her.

Mom

My mom joined Grandpa in Heaven on July 23, 2008. I didn't think it was possible to miss someone so much. I'm not sure when I will want to blog again. I wrote a lot while she was in the hospital. I may share some of that. We have many great memories, although my heart has been broken.

George Kelly Jr - May 19, 1918 - June 14, 2008

My grandpa went home to Jesus a week and a half ago. I miss him a lot. God gave him 90 years on this earth and I was fortunate to know him for 26 of them. So many good memories, my last one is from breakfast on the Sunday before he passed away. Grandpa and Grandma were eating breakfast and wearing red shirts. Grandpa told me that everyone should wear red shirts on Sunday. This past Sunday, I wore a red shirt. His love for Jesus will affect me as long as I live. Thank you Grandpa for your Godly legacy. My heart will always miss you.

Graduation

Tomorrow night at 6 pm, I am graduating from Union University with a Master's Degree in Christian Studies. I am psyched! I cannot believe that it is finally here!