29 for 31. Reading and Studying.

I really wanted to blog about Adam for Post 29. I spent my entire 29th year of life dating him, but he has this rule about facebook, twitter, and blogging about our relationship, which I try to mostly follow. I will shamelessly plug his music (no rules about that) and the fact that he is seminary student. Him being a seminary student is a good lead into today's post. Since he is a student, some nights when we hang out we read and study. I know fascinating, right?!? Thankfully, I learned to read and study long before he came along.

My mom taught me to read. She made these awesome phonics charts on posterboards. We would go over them at home. You know what I am talking about - A-Apple, B-Boat, C-Car, Ch-Chair, D-Dog... You obviously had to sound the letters out. It was great fun and I loved the phonics charts, especially when they got into the blended sounds. (Some days my Arkansas accent gets in the way of good enunciation.) Mom had this thing she said about reading: "reading is caught not taught." My family was a family of readers. We didn't have to much of a choice, because they bought us lots of books. In the mornings, we passed around the cereal boxes to read the back of them. Yes, we were that family. If we were bored, we were always told... "Go read a book."

The summer I broke my arm, I loved the Babysitter's Clubs books. My aunts would send money for books and I would buy like 10 of them at time and read them in a week. Books were important and given high priority in our house.

One book was given special priority as Mom and Dad went to it everyday. I cannot remember a day when I got out of bed that I did not see Mom and/or Dad reading God's Word or knew by where their Bible was setting that they had already enjoyed time in the Word. My heart is thankful for their Godly example. When it came to Biblical things, I felt like they already knew so much. The knowledge of God always sent them back seeking and desiring to learn more. I may not have appreciated then, but I definitely do now! Proverbs seems to show it best, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,

and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight." (Proverbs 9:10)

My parents' example of time reading and studying God's Word would be something that I would try to follow beginning when I was a teenager and continues even now. We are never too old to learn, especially when it comes to studying God's Word.

Stay tuned for more about God's Word...

28 for 31. All Things New

Mom's story ends and her eternity begins with Heaven.

Most days of my life, I wear two bracelets:

The teal bracelet is an Ovarian Cancer Awareness bracelet. The pearl bracelet is a special gift from Dad. It has twelve pearls, some gold, and beautiful crystals. It is called a "Heaven bracelet" taken from the picture we see in Revelation 21:21, "And the twelve gates were twelve pearls, each of the gates made of a single pearl, and the street of the city was pure gold, like transparent glass."


I love the bracelets and enjoy the reminder as I wear them each day. I actually like to read a few verses earlier in Revelation,  "And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God Himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” And He who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” -Revelation 21:3-5a. I experience joy like nothing else when I read these verses. God will dwell with His people. The things here on this earth that hurt and break our hearts will be no more. "He who was seated on the throne said, 'Behold, I am making all things new.'" As believers, we experience an abundant new life when we trust Christ, but it goes beyond my imagination to consider what we will enjoy when God makes all things new.

I am not sure what eternity is like now as believers in Heaven await the day when all is made new as well. Mom wanted to see Jesus. I smile when I think of her worshipping our Savior, and no cancer to be found. I am sure she has encountered many others whose life had been made new by Christ here on this earth and now they experience Heaven together.

I go to see His glory,
Whom we have loved below:
I go, the blessed angels,
The holy saints to know.
Our lovely ones departed,
I go to find again,
And wait for you to join us.
Goodnight, goodnight till then! 
-Goodnight, Matthew Smith. 


For those who remain, we anxiously await the promises of Revelation 21. We tell others about the glorious gospel of Christ that can change one's life. Scripture reminds me once again that what we know here is only temporary, "But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like His glorious body, by the power that enables Him even to subject all things to Himself." -Philippians 3:20-21. All power and glory is His in Heaven and here on earth. In life or in death, may our hearts rejoice in Him!

27 for 31. Suffering.

Chances of finishing this by the end of August are looking a little slim. However, I will finish. Perseverance is not my middle name, but sometimes I try. Onward...

I don't remember when my Mom started talking about her suffering, but I do remember that when she did, these verses were repeated over and over again.  "that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and may share His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead." -Philippians 3:10-11. I didn't grasp the intensity of Mom's suffering. I do know that cancer can be quite painful. I think she much better understood that her suffering was drawing her to a closer relationship with her Savior. As a believer, I would never pray for or desire suffering, I like the "good life." However, God uses suffering to draw us to Himself. I need be reminded that I am not independent, in reality I am solely and entirely dependent on Him for all things. He draws us into the sweetest relationship and often to do this, He uses suffering.
I think Mom got it, she knew. I think my family understood just a little bit too about how God uses these times to draw us to Himself. I have wrote the past couple of days about suffering and God being a refuge. It is all summed up so very well in these verses. We experience suffering to know Him and His power. His desire for a relationship and His power is on display at all times. He is a great God. Suffering is an opportunity to draw close, to hear His Words, to see His power, to trust with the unknown, and be more like Him. That should be my desire at all times whether in good or bad - to know Him and become more like Him!

One of my favorite cd's during this time was Come Weary Saints by Sovereign Grace. I remember singing the words of this chorus over and over again.
King of Glory, I know You love me
So I will trust You, yes I will trust You
God Almighty, You have saved me
So I will trust You, yes I will trust in You

I love how this song shows me who He is - King, God Almighty, Who loved me first, Who died to save before I knew I needed a Savior. Oh, He can be trusted, even in suffering! 

 

26 for 31. Refuge.

One of the biggest lessons, I get to learn over and over in my life, and especially during the difficult time with Mom, is that God is who He says He is. Not only do I read in the pages of Scripture, but I get to experience it with His work in my life. During the time Mom had cancer, I would read through the Psalms and see that God is a refuge.

"O LORD my God, in you do I take refuge..." -Psalm 7:1 


"Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!" -Psalm 34:8


"For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God. Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us." -Psalm 62:5-8


"But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works." -Psalm 73:28


"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, 'My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.'" - Psalm 91:1-2

These are just a few examples. In the Psalms, we also see God being a refuge against enemies when one was in battle. Cancer was not the battle for me, but it was Mom's. I needed shelter from the storm that seemed to be swirling around my life. I found it in the best possible place. God was and is still my refuge. I know God is who says He is and it is our responsibility to believe that. During some difficult days when life seemed broken, God proved over and over again that He is just that - a refuge, a hiding place, a shelter. I rejoice in the fact that His Word true. "for You have been my help, and in the shadow of Your wings I will sing for joy." -Psalm 63:7

25 for 31. Romans 5:1-5.

In July of 2007, I went to Brazil on a Mission Trip. Mom and I had decided that we would read Romans 5:1-5 each day of the trip and then talk about it when I returned home. We actually got to talk on the phone once about it while I was in Brazil. She emailed me something about it almost every day of the trip; something she was learning or how she saw God fulfilling the truth of His Word in her life.  These are the precious words of Romans 5:1-5, Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through Him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. At that time, we were learning to rejoice in hope of the glory of God, but having a hard time with rejoicing in suffering. Or maybe we were actually learning to rejoice in suffering because the end result is hope. Mom reminded me of who we were in Christ in light of these verses. She experienced the peace and grace from Christ during that time. I had a much harder time with the truth of these verses. I did not want to rejoice in her sufferings. Fortunately for me, the work of the Holy Spirit is not up to me and what I want. I learned the truths of these verses ever so slowly. Because of Christ, we stand in grace. Suffering is the beginning and the ending is hope. These verses are really all about the work of Christ. He justifies. He brings peace. He gives faith. He allows suffering to produce endurance, character, and hope. His Holy Spirit is a beautiful gift that He gives. Our Sovereign God is at work during times of suffering. It took me a long time to see that and I don't even see everything clearly, yet. Someday though.

For now, I read these truths in Scripture and desire to keep learning. I am certain there will be future suffering in my life, believers are not promised an easy life. However, no suffering is without purpose. We suffer for and hope in the glory God.

24 for 31. Romans 8:18

For a few days, I have been working on/mulling over in my head a series of posts about what I experienced and learned when my Mom was diagnosed with cancer, her suffering, and her passing. Apart from my salvation, nothing else in my life has had a greater impact on me spiritually. I felt like during that time my faith was shaken and my world was broken. When I get the opportunity to tell people about this part of my testimony, I cannot say enough how God's Word comforted and gave hope to my helpless heart. I didn't get all the answers then, and still don't have them now, but the words of Scripture still ring out true again and again in my life. I'm going to try to take you on my journey through Scripture during that time. These verses remain precious to me even now.

March 6, 2007 was the day my family heard the word cancer. It is such an ugly word. It is a word that you hear that produces questions, doubt, and despair. That day was an emotional one for me. I didn't handle the news well. I left the hospital that night feeling hopeless. I had been reading through Romans and was somewhere in the middle of chapter 8. For those who don't know Romans well, chapter 8 is a meaty one. There are so many fantastic theological truths in this chapter. (But don't take my word for it, read it here.) Romans 8:28 may be one of the most popular verses of Scripture, "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose." Sweet promises we find in God's Word. That day, I was reading a little earlier in the chapter, "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." (Romans 8:18) I am pretty sure I had no idea at that time of the work that God was going to do. Through Mom's suffering, I believe I saw glimpses of the glory of God and His work in my life, my family, and those around us. This verse is actually talking about the future glory. John MacArthur describes it like this, "This looks forward to the resurrection of the body and subsequent complete Christlikeness which is the believer's eternal glory." (MacArthur Study Bible - ESV).  Yes, we suffer now and it is hard, but is suffering on this earth worth it to experience what Christ has for us in the future? According to Paul, it was. In our present suffering as believers, I believe that God reveals Himself in ways that provide hope and comfort to our hearts. Suffering is for His glory now and points us to the ultimate glory of eternity with Jesus.

Romans 8:18 was and is a big truth for this heart!

23 for 31. Discipleship (Titus 2).

I have quite a few of those moments where I think, "Why do you want to use me God?" I know He doesn't need me, He is God. Yet, in my weakness, He grants opportunities for me to serve Him in ways that I did not see and was not prepared for the work He was going to do.

If you asked me, if I had ever been discipled, I would attribute that to my Mom and Dad. The Word of God was predominant in our home, school life, and of course, church. They gave me a great love for the Word and an encouraged my God-given desire for the things of the Lord. Also, they answered lots of questions. Dad still answers lots of questions about God's Word and the application of it. I am thankful for that.

If you asked if I would ever disciple someone, I would have told you that was for the retired ladies in the church. How wrong and naive, I was to think that! God put a middle school girl in my life who wanted some attention and in the process, used her to help me understand that God calls all believers to discipleship. It is something we call, the Great Commission, "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations..." (Matthew 28:19) God used my years with her to help me grow in relationship with Him as we experienced life together. Seven or so years later, I consider her a sweet sister and always enjoy the opportunity to talk about the Word together and the work that God is doing in our lives.


I'm thankful that God did not stop with one girl, but continues to put people into my life. I would not consider myself an "older woman," although 30 seems like it some days. Titus 2 reminds me that God desires to use women in this area to teach other women, "Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women..."(Titus 2:3-4a) My desire is to be obedient God's Word and hopefully teach others to be obedient to God's Word as well. Even though our efforts fall short each day, I am thankful that He uses people for discipleship. I had no idea of the truths from God's Word that I would learn as I desired to teach others, and am so thankful that discipleship is a growing process. "And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." (Philippians 1:6)

22 for 31. Brothers (Part 2)

Brothers - The Youngest.

Since 1984, I have had Middle Child Syndrome. (Haha, not really.) 26 almost 27 years ago, our family welcomed James David into the world, I prefer to call him Jimbo. I have a lot more memories of him because we were closer in age and he didn't move away when I was a preteen. (No offense, Darryl.) ;) At a young age, like 2 months, I remember Jimbo liked to pinch people. I'm sure that he was never aggravated by his older sister, he was just a pincher. He was the cutest kid of the bunch with a really round head and big ears. Mom liked to call him Charlie Brown. She also liked for him to wear bowties. I failed in finding a bowtie picture, but I'm sure Jim had one suit for like the first two or three years of life. It was pinstripe blue with a vest and a bowtie.

Christmas some year - We are from Arkansas; kids played with tractors.

Jim established himself early on as the funny one in the family. As the baby, he had Mom wrapped around his finger and he knew it. Darryl and I have stories of how much better the baby was treated, but no worries, we are not bitter. :) Jim did not get into as much trouble as he should have... I think by the time Mom and Dad got him, they were tired from disciplining their daughter, so Jim got away with stuff.

As teenagers, Mom said that we needed some family time. For this special bonding time, we would watch the Sound of Music. This began our tradition of Sound of Music singalongs. We mostly dislike the movie now. Jim and I can also quote Green Eggs and Ham back and forth to one another. Important things you get to experience with your brother.

I only remember one major fight with this little brother. It wasn't pretty and I apologized quickly. There are probably like a million and one stories I have about Jimbo. He's not afraid to tell the story of Thanksgiving of 1999 to anyone we meet. He has a list of nicknames for me and has called me everything from fatty to the most common "Snow" - because I have super white skin.

The last time Jimbo was shorter than me - 1996.

When Mom got sick, he became a pretty faithful buddy. On the day we buried Mom, he understood that we should go back to the cemetery one more time, just for us. We've been through some tough things together and have had a whole lot of fun times. He is one of my closest friends and we always have a blast just hanging out. I'm not sure what God had planned for my family when He gave us Jim, but I am so thankful for my sweet little brother! A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. -Proverbs 17:17

21 for 31. Brothers. (Part 1)

Brothers - The Oldest.

Big brother fixing breakfast!

Darryl and I became acquainted when he was almost 7 years old and I was well, a newborn baby. I have a few recollections of our early years together. I remember him more as a teenager. I was probably the annoying little kid in his life, who he had to watch and help take care of. For years, I tried to do the things that him and his friends did, but they all rode a bike faster, hit a baseball further, and could actually catch a football. One of my earliest memories of Darryl is with our "go-cart." We had something that resembled a go-cart made for parts of an old lawnmower. Sometimes it kinda sorta worked and other times, we just pushed people in it. About once a week, Darryl would take the go-cart apart, just for the fun of it and then put it back together. This should have been an early indication of what he should do in life... Darryl's first car was this awesome old green truck. We listened to Contemporary Christian Music in the truck when Mom would make him drive me places. CCM wasn't allowed in our house, so I felt pretty special that Darryl and I had a cool secret to share. I was 10 or 11 at that time - that was a big deal. 

Darryl and I became friends when he joined the Army sometime in 1992. We wrote snail mail letters back and forth. I think those summers of him being away really helped both of us grow up. I wasn't dependent on my older brother to take care of me and he realized that God did not give little sisters just to ruin your life. After the summers away in the Army, Darryl went to Bob Jones University. (He's a little bit crazy.) I think he loved college life. Jimbo and I missed him, but did alright. We did not miss him making tuna casserole. Yes, everytime we talk to Darryl or about Darryl, we kinda have to bring up tuna casserole w/the crushed chips on top. To this day, we are not sure why anyone would think kids would like tuna casserole. Now, he just puts mushrooms in everything he cooks. So random.

I can't really say a whole lot about Darryl without talking a bit about Becky. Darryl met Becky sometime in 1994. They have an interesting story... They survived most of the their dating years at BJU. I didn't care too much for Becky at first. She won me over with multiple trips to the mall and a shared love for cookie sandwiches (aka dinky doozies.) With a little attitude adjustment, I came to love Becky and was happy when we added another girl to our family in December 1996. We used to write letters to one another too. She gave great advice to a crazy middle school girl. At this point, I have known Becky for more than half my life and cannot really remember too much of life without her. Darryl definitely married way out of his league when he got her!

Now, Darryl is the ultimate geek working with computers and a Dad to three of my favorite kiddos. We only work a few minutes away from one another, so he still buys lunch sometimes. Also, he still has that overprotectiveness that older brothers are born with. I'm not sure I could've asked God for a better older brother. I got exactly what I needed. We've been through a lot of good stuff and some bad times together and I wouldn't trade him or our experiences for anything. 

Becky, Darryl, and Jim - December 1996

20 for 31. Favorite Picture.

This is my favorite picture.

It was taken with a cell phone on July 16, 2008. The evening before, our family had been told by the Doctor that Mom would soon be going to meet Jesus. When Mom was sick, if you went to visit her, she would hold your hand. She loved holding hands. This is her holding Jim's hand. We would sit at the hospital for hours, just holding hands. We have no other pictures from the hospital, and for me this one is perfect. Just a week later, Aunt Connie and I would hold Mom's hand as she was carried into the presence of Jesus.

19 for 31. Being an Aunt.

From the moment my older brother got married in 1996, I think I ready to be an aunt. As a 15 year old, it seemed like one of the best possible things... Well, the Lord's timing forced me to wait until 2001. It was a cold day in February when I received that long awaited phone call. Darryl was somewhere in Ohio at the time I think. I don't remember any of our conversation except for that fact that he said, "You are going to be an aunt!!! He may have not used that much enthusiasm, but you get the idea. From that point on, I was so excited.

The first boy was born in November and the excitement of meeting him that Thanksgiving was insane. He was the cutest baby with a big, round head. It was an incredible joy to realize that you could love someone who was completely dependent on his parents and others, and who didn't have any idea what it meant to love you back. He was special and precious in so many ways. He is so much like my brother and dad. Now, he is mainly too cool to hang with me because of my lack of Nintendo DSI knowledge. We do share a common love for Legos. He is almost 10 and still has this place in my heart... He is the kid who made me an aunt.

Almost exactly two years later, our family was blessed with the girl. The girl shares my love for pink and purple. She might be a little more girly than I am. She is funny and so artistic. If you ever visit my office, she has some artwork in there. She is pretty forgiving like when I hit her in the head while playing Kinect. She is a mini-me of her mom and the middle child. As the middle child, we can relate. Since her arrival, it is always been more fun to go shopping for clothes. Now, she makes sure to tell me if it has been too long since we have seen one another. I love her honesty!

Finally, in 2007, the baby boy came. This was in the middle of my brother's family moving from Ohio and my Mom being sick. He was a joy in the middle of her cancer treatments. We have some sweet pictures of him and Mom together. I know he will not remember her, but Darryl, Becky, and others will remember how he made her smile, even on the bad days. This boy is a wild child with more energy than I can imagine. He gets excited and says, "Sha, Sha, Sha" when I show up for a visit. Sha is a nickname from the niece and nephews - I like that it stuck.

The latest niece was added in April of this year. I will just call her K. Her mom likes to blog about all her sweet adventures here. K belongs to my adopted middle sis, A and my bro-in-law P. She is kinda like me in that she is nosy and likes a crowd of people. She is still a little on the small side, but from what I have discovered she likes Jerry's Sno Cones and her thumb. She worries about me which makes me feel kinda special. I admire her Mom and Dad because they got to do something I've always wanted to do - adopt! I think that will need to be a post in itself! Love some K and her parents for letting me be her Auntie!

God has given me some more "adopted" nieces and nephews in my church family. Sweet friends with fun kids, who like to call me "Shady." It is a title I enjoy, despite what connotations shady may have. The best word to describe being an aunt - Joy.

18 for 31. Prayer.

Today has been a day of prayer and thinking. A lot of times I encounter believers who talk about not being consistent in their prayer life. As people, we talk a lot everyday, but fall short in talking to God. I don't want to be that person. I want to recognize that there is power when a believer prays and be expectant that God hears and answers. Prayer has had a major impact on my life in these ways:

1. People have prayed for me. For as long as I can remember, I knew that my parents and grandparents prayed for me. I'm sure there were many others as well. When I got to the age where I could grasp the truth that people prayed for me, I realized what a blessing it is that they cared enough to pray. I'm sure my parents and grandparents prayed for my salvation for a long time. When my Grandpa and Mom passed away, one of my first thoughts was that I would definitely miss knowing that they were praying for me. They were faithful in their prayers. Even now, I am humbled when random people come up to me and say, "I am praying for you." My only response is "Thank You." I love that others in my life are living out the truth to pray for one another. I like what James 5:16b says, "The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." Amen and Amen.

2. I was taught how to pray. I know that sounds kinda prideful, like I am the perfect pray-er. That's not what I mean all, but my mom thought it was important that her daughter know how to pray. She taught me to talk and I'm glad she also taught me how to talk to God. Never should we be excused from prayer simply because we don't know how. Jesus was the perfect example and gave us a model in the Lord's Prayer, not necessarily to have to pray those specific words, but how to pray and what to pray for. I think it is an excellent example to follow especially when the words of Jesus serve as our teacher, "Now Jesus was praying in a certain place, and when he finished, one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray, as John taught his disciples.” And he said to them, “When you pray, say: “Father, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come..." (Luke 11:1-2)

3. My weakness is prayer is matched with the Holy Spirit's strength. Life is rough sometimes and there are always points where we don't know what to say to God on behalf of others or ourselves. The Bible says that doesn't matter, "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words." (Romans 8:26) Often I have cried out to the Lord, not knowing what how to verbalize the brokenness of my heart. The Spirit knows and His work brings me great comfort and joy.

4. My anxious heart finds rest in God's sovereignty. Philippians 4:6-7, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

This list is definitely not exhaustive, but a small reminder of the power of prayer in my life. Thankful for a God who calls us to a relationship and opens the door for us to communicate with Him through prayer!

17 for 31. Computers, Social Networking, and Such.

I will return to more serious/spiritual posts soon...

I'm a big fan of the digital age. I'm thankful I did not have to grow up plunking on a typewriter and using other products we would consider "outdated" now. I was a big fan of cassette tapes and my walkman as a kid/preteen, but I am glad things have progressed since that. The first computer I remember in my house was a Commodore 128.

 

I'm sure that computer was as awesome as it looks now with it's fancy floppy disk drive. My favorite game was probably Frogger. Yep, that's what I'm talking about... 

 

Graphics were so awesome back in the day.

My family got the internet in 1995. We were the first ones in our group of friends, church family, etc. People thought my dad was bad for letting the "trash" of the internet into our house.  According to some people we knew, "Christians shouldn't use the Internet. It is evil." He would just tell people that it was a great educational tool for his kids and they would monitor what we did on the internet. Dad followed up on that statement. 

Obviously technology has progressed into some of the wonderful things that I enjoy now --- Facebook, Twitter, or anything on the iPhone. Side note ---- I had to wait for awhile before I joined Twitter because of dare from Adam and Nathan. For the record, I was stubborn and won "the dare." Don't dare me to do or not do things... ---- (Side note over). 

I like what John Piper has to say about Facebook and Twitter.

I see two kinds of response to social Internet media like blogging, MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, and others. 

One says: These media tend to shorten attention spans, weaken discursive reasoning, lure people away from Scripture and prayer, disembody relationships, feed the fires of narcissism, cater to the craving for attention, fill the world with drivel, shrink the soul’s capacity for greatness, and make us second-handers who comment on life when we ought to be living it. So boycott them and write books (not blogs) about the problem.

The other response says: Yes, there is truth in all of that, but instead of boycotting, try to fill these media with as much provocative, reasonable, Bible-saturated, prayerful, relational, Christ-exalting, truth-driven, serious, creative pointers to true greatness as you can...

“All things were created through Christ and for Christ” (Colossians 1:16). The world does not know it, but that is why Twitter exists and that’s why I tweet. 


I hope as a believer I am using the technology that He gives for His glory. I am grateful for the opportunities provided in our time to share Jesus through technology. May we use it to make much of Him!

16 for 31. Apple.

"It is not idolatry, but righteous love for the iPhone." -Josh Harris

This post has no spiritual implications at all, just a post to express my joy and delight for this sign.

I love the people/friends in my life, but want to beat them up when they tell me how much better a Droid is. They may be right, but what is a droid and who wants one when you can have an iPhone? An iPhone very clearly tells you exactly what it is... a phone that belongs to me.

First, I was sold on Apple products with an iPod, but everyone has one of those. My older brother should take the blame for my love for things made by Apple. He talked me into buying a Macbook about 4 years ago. I still use the Macbook daily. I like the simplicity of it. I like iPhoto and iTunes... sometimes I use the fancier stuff like iMovie. It just works and it works well for me.

My iPhone was given to me and is one of the most fantastic and useful gifts I have ever received. It is kinda old, but still works great, so I'm keeping it. I'm sure any smartphone would do a great job and meet the needs of the things I use my iPhone for, but why have a plain, ole smartphone when you can have an iPhone.

I also have superficial reasons for my love for Apple Products... They are just better looking. Simple as that. I'm a girl I like pretty things, a Macbook is a pretty thing.

Lastly, I leave you with this fantastic/sarcastic blog post written awhile back about using Apple products and being a better Christian. Please do not be offended by this as it is meant to be funny and not offensive. 

15 for 31. Surrender.

Part of this post was part of an old blog post back in 2006. Nobody read my blog then, so I thought I could post it again. Before I decided that I would surrender to be used by the Lord in Christian ministry, I wrestled. I wrestled with the Lord in my mind and actions. The main reason for this wrestling is because I didn't want to be like my parents. I wanted to be better off financially and not deal with some of the heartaches and heartbreaks that the ministry had caused them. More than anything, I did NOT want to be them. I was definitely the girl that said I will gladly serve the church, but I will never be like Mom and Dad and serve full-time in Christian ministry.  

-Excerpt from a previous blog...
Somewhere back in April 2003, I wrote down these words in a journal from Isaiah 42:16, "I will bring the blind by a way they did not know; I will lead them in paths they have not known, I will make the darkness light before them, And crooked places straight. These things I will do for them, And not forsake them." This was one of the verses that God used to point my heart in the direction of full-time Christian service. God used this to soften me for the next best thing He desired to show me. I was blindly reaching out for something and God planted this verse in my heart as I could not get it out my head. Around that time, God used some Godly people in my life, including my parents, to help me see clearly that His way was so much better than mine.

I had set out to control my future and pursue success in my career and financially. God had different plans, and had to do quite the work on this stubborn heart. I'm thankful He doesn't give up on me when I want to choose my own way. I'm thankful He didn't give me the success I was so desperately craving. I don't think I would have handled it well and would have given the credit to myself. Instead He has shown me that He will lead me through the right paths and make darkness light. Not one time have I felt forsaken by my wise Heavenly Father. He knew what was best for me and He knows what will be best. Still a lesson I'm learning.



All my plans and all my dreams
I’m giving it all to You
I lay it all down at Your feet
I’m Yours

So what song can I sing but this song?

I’m giving it all back to You
All back to You
I surrender
I’m giving it all back to You
All back to You
This is my surrender
Take it all
Take it all
Lord, take it all
Take it all
-My Surrender, Steven Curtis Chapman

14 for 31. 1 Samuel 12:23-24

My little brother informed me that I was behind on my blogging. That's why God gave me Jim, to inform me of my inadequacies in life. More on him in the future.

Today is the actual day of my birth. 30 years ago on a Sunday afternoon, I made my entrance into the world. I think I have a funny birth story, but it is better to tell it in person. I was a late birthday present for my Dad. I'm thankful he didn't try to return me. :)

1 Samuel 12:23-24 seem to have become my birthday verses. Actually, they were Mom's verses for her kids. I can't find a card or letter she wrote to me without these verse. I wish I would have asked more about them when she was alive, but they are a bit self explanatory. "Moreover, as for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by ceasing to pray for you, and I will instruct you in the good and the right way. Only fear the Lord and serve Him faithfully with all your heart. For consider what great things He has done for you." Theses words were Samuel's final address to his beloved Israel. The past few birthdays have prompted me to look closer at these verses and if I am striving towards what Mom prayed for so many years.

I made a resolution in 2011 to try to study, learn, and practice the fear of the Lord more. The book of Proverbs says, "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight." (9:10) Understanding and practicing the fear of the Lord seems to be an everyday challenge in my life. Adam tries to tell me that as we grow as believers, we get a better understanding of the fear of the Lord and how to practice it, but it will always be an ongoing process here on this earth. I agree. It is easy to talk about fearing the Lord and harder to practice, but God gives what we need to practice truths from His Word, so thankful that I can learn from God's wisdom!

The next part of the verse talks about serving the Lord faithfully. This is also an ongoing process. I get the opportunity to learn faithfulness from the only One who can truly be called Faithful. He is Faithful; His Word is Faithful! Am I serving Him faithfully? I certainly hope so and I know by His grace He will sustain me until He calls me home.

"Consider what great things He has done for you." That's why I am writing these reflections - to consider. When I consider big things---Salvation, Life---it prompts consideration for lists and lists of little things or should I say great things He has done. At times my faith seems so small; I don't expect God to do great things, but He has and He has done them for me.

In the coming year, I hope to fear the Lord more, serve Him faithfully, and consider what He has done. I'm thankful today for Mom and Dad who gave me life, prayed, and taught me from the Word. Truly great things He has done!

13 for 31. New Mercies.

In 30 years of life, I would say that I have had a few bad days. Some bad days were caused by circumstances beyond my control. Most of my bad days have been caused by myself. I've said a lot of unkind words and hurt others with the things I did or did not do. Mostly, I've committed sin that has lead to more problems and effected people in my life, but ultimately it hinders relationship with my Heavenly Father. So often, I have taken great comfort and joy in these verses in Lamentations 3:22-24, "The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. The LORD is my portion, says my soul, therefore I will hope in Him." I love these verses as they remind me of what I am not, but who my Lord is. I could never make claims of steadfast love, continual mercy and faithfulness. Those who put their hope in me will surely be let down, but because of who He is, you and I can have hope.
Today, I am hoping for a good day, but I'm sure some rough days are ahead. I need this continual reminding of who the Lord truly is. I need those new mercies each morning. He is the faithful Provider of exactly what we need.

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with thee,
Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not,
As thou has been, thou forever will be.


Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thine own great presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today, and bright hope for tomorrow
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside. 

Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness! 
Morning by morning new mercies I see 
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided 
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me!

12 for 31. Legacy of Faithful Marriages.

So many good things happen in August. Today is my Aunt Bonnie and Uncle Jerry's 46th anniversary. As they were sweet to inform me this past weekend, they were children when they got married. Well, maybe not children, but young. It prompted thoughts about the extended family that God has blessed me with. Before my Grandpa went to Heaven, him and Grandma had celebrated 67 years of marriage together. My mom and dad made it to 40 years. My dad's sisters have all celebrated more than 40 years of marriage with their spouses. This is one of those blessings, that I often miss as I go about my everyday life. In a world of divorce and broken relationships, I am grateful for their example that love can last a lifetime. Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote to a young bride and groom once, "...it is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love." For each aunt and uncle, I have heard stories of how life has been rough, but have also seen their faithfulness to one another during the good times and the bad.  I have seen sacrifices and promises kept between them and how God has strengthened their relationships. Looking at them now, it is fun to see that not only are they husband and wife, but great friends! Today, I am thankful for the legacy of faithful marriages God has given in my family! Thank you for your sweet example to my cousins, my brothers, and myself! You are loved and admired! 

"Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." -Genesis 2:18

11 for 31. Mission Trips.

In the Summer of 2004, I went on my first Mission Trip. Prior to the summer, you have to choose to go on the trip. My church was sponsoring a trip to Brazil. One part of the team would participate in a Medical Mission. The other part would drive up the mountains of Brazil to a small church and do sports camp. Guess which team I decided to go with? A ten-hour drive up the mountain in a school bus was not the most pleasant, but God allowed me to keep my lunch. The trip went exactly as planned, except it was freezing. Each day, a huge group of kids were there to greet us as we walked up to the church. We had a fantastic week of playing basketball, wiffle ball, soccer, and volleyball. They didn't need us to teach soccer or volleyball, they were so much better than us. During the evenings, we would worship at the homes of church members. One of the sweetest times for me was when we knew a song and would sing it in English and they would sing in Portuguese. I cried my eyes out as I got on the bus for home. What an incredible week we had in that little city. Little did I know that God would allow me to come back to Brazil two more times to serve on Mission Teams! (I cannot find pictures from 2004. I'm sure I have them on a cd somewhere!)

Before the next summer, I would begin to work at a church serving with Student Ministries and Missions. I'm so glad my first mission trip wasn't my only one. I have had the privileged of serving in Czech Republic, Honduras, and in a few different place in the US. I hope and pray that my Mission Trip serving is not even close to over, but God grants many more opportunities. I love when God opens the door for believers to assist another body of believers in a place where the Gospel may not be so well known or Missionaries are on their own with trying to reach a huge group of people. A Mission Trip is simply a chance to help build the Kingdom! I'm thankful for those amazing opportunities God has allowed in my life! 


Psalm 67
May God be gracious to us and bless us

and make his face to shine upon us, Selah

that your way may be known on earth,

your saving power among all nations.

Let the peoples praise you, O God;

let all the peoples praise you!

Let the nations be glad and sing for joy,

for you judge the peoples with equity

and guide the nations upon earth. Selah

Let the peoples praise you, O God;

let all the peoples praise you!

The earth has yielded its increase;

God, our God, shall bless us.

God shall bless us;

let all the ends of the earth fear him

10 for 31. Dad.

Today is my Dad's birthday. Happy Birthday to my favorite Dad, ever. He's a few years older than me... quite a few. My dad cannot be described in just a few short sentences, he's more like a one-of-a-kind. He's Godly and loves his family. He is geeky and enjoys technological stuff like computers, fancy cameras, and amateur radio. He has done a lot of stuff in his life, like being in the Navy. He has experienced a lot of things that I have admired, like being in the ministry.

Dad has definitely been a spiritual father to me as well as my earthly father. His favorite books of the Bible are probably Proverbs and Philippians. The best advice he ever gave me from Proverbs was this verse, "The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it." (Proverbs 27:12). Dad likes to talk a lot about being prudent. (If he is passionate about something you know it, cause he talks about it, a lot.) He helped me wrestle through a lot of theology and doctrine when I was in school, and continues to listen even now. When it comes to spiritual things, he has never talked down to me, but will talk in a way that would hopefully be a learning opportunity for me. I also appreciate his insight into ministry, since he has had a few years of experience in Christian ministry as well.

Dad is not just a good man, I think above all else, he is Godly man. He's retired now, but still serving Jesus where he is. I admire that and will continue to look to him for Godly wisdom. Happy Birthday Dad! I pray that Lord gives you many more years to serve Him.

The righteous who walks in his integrity-- blessed are his children after him! -Proverbs 20:7