Chances of finishing this by the end of August are looking a little slim. However, I will finish. Perseverance is not my middle name, but sometimes I try. Onward...
I don't remember when my Mom started talking about her suffering, but I do remember that when she did, these verses were repeated over and over again. "that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and may share His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead." -Philippians 3:10-11. I didn't grasp the intensity of Mom's suffering. I do know that cancer can be quite painful. I think she much better understood that her suffering was drawing her to a closer relationship with her Savior. As a believer, I would never pray for or desire suffering, I like the "good life." However, God uses suffering to draw us to Himself. I need be reminded that I am not independent, in reality I am solely and entirely dependent on Him for all things. He draws us into the sweetest relationship and often to do this, He uses suffering.
I think Mom got it, she knew. I think my family understood just a little bit too about how God uses these times to draw us to Himself. I have wrote the past couple of days about suffering and God being a refuge. It is all summed up so very well in these verses. We experience suffering to know Him and His power. His desire for a relationship and His power is on display at all times. He is a great God. Suffering is an opportunity to draw close, to hear His Words, to see His power, to trust with the unknown, and be more like Him. That should be my desire at all times whether in good or bad - to know Him and become more like Him!
One of my favorite cd's during this time was Come Weary Saints by Sovereign Grace. I remember singing the words of this chorus over and over again.
King of Glory, I know You love me
So I will trust You, yes I will trust You
God Almighty, You have saved me
So I will trust You, yes I will trust in You
I love how this song shows me who He is - King, God Almighty, Who loved me first, Who died to save before I knew I needed a Savior. Oh, He can be trusted, even in suffering!